Back Up Sirius & Run Away
by dreamingstars
Summary: Set in the Marauder years when Sirius Black runs away from his abusive parents. It covers his abuse, escape, and recovery. You will like it, so read it. Rated T for violence.
1. At The Train Station

**Hello!** This is my first Harry Potter fan fic, and I love Sirius Black. I don't own him or Remus of a lot of other things in this story though. Alright, first thing you should know, Peter, the bloody git that he is, will not be appearing in this story because I don't like him. Instead he will be replaced with Jack Neeva. A nice guy with charisma and integrity. He is from muggle parents and has one brother named Frank who is three years older than he is, a brother who is one year younger named Kelly and a sister who is four years younger named Hillary. And he is not a traitor. They all grow up and are great friends, he helps in the Order and is killed before James and Lilly in the first part of the war trying to protect them and Harry. I know this is a very long intro, but you had to know. Now read!

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James was standing by his parents at platform 9 3/4 when Remus and his parents came over. James and Remus gave each other a brotherly hug. Then they both turned and greeted each other's parents.

"Seen Padfoot yet?" James asked.

Remus looked around. "He isn't here yet?" he asked

"I haven't seen him." James said looking at the barrier.

"Oh well. I'm sure he'll be here soon." Mrs. Potter said.

Sure enough in a few seconds James saw Sirius's brother and mother come through followed by Sirius and his father.

Sirius's father had hold of Sirius's upper arm in a vice like grip. He pulled Sirius over to where his mother and Regulus were standing. Sirius looked around and spotted James and Remus looking at him, he caught their eyes and smiled. They smiled back at him. Sirius jerked his head toward his father who still had hold of his arm, rolled his eyes and made an annoyed face. Both of them laughed. Their parents turned around to see who James and Remus were looking at when they saw Sirius they smiled at him and waved.

Sirius smiled and waived back. Orion Black saw Sirius waive out of the corner of his eye and looked up to see who he was waiving to. When he saw the Lupins and the Potters his face went livid and he jerked Sirius around, grabbing his other arm in another vice like grip.

"I thought I told you that you are not to associate with those people any more Sirius Orion Black." He said dangerously.

"You did, I just ignored you." Sirius said smartly.

Sirius's father's face went red with anger and he tightened his grip on Sirius's shoulders. Sirius winced and his knees buckled.

"You listen to me boy." Orion said leaning forward so his face was inches from Sirius's. His voice was barely a whisper that gave Sirius a shudder. "You will learn you're place. You will not be friends with them any longer."

"You can't tell me what to do." Sirius said. "I'm not your servant, you can't treat me like…"

"YOU ARE MY SON!" Orion yelled cutting Sirius off. "I WILL TREAT YOU HOW EVER I SEE FIT!"

Upon hearing Mr. Black's yells the Potters and the Lupins turned around.

"YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE TRIED TO SHOW YOU WHAT BEING A WIZARD MENT, WHAT BEING A PURE BLOOD WIZARD MENT, BUT _YOU_ WITH YOUR INSOLATE ATTITIUDE-"

"AND I'LL NEVER CHANGE." Sirius interrupted his father. "I'LL NEVER SEE THINGS LIKE YOU DO! I'M NOT THAT TWISTED."

Mr. Black whipped Sirius around and slammed him painfully into the nearby wall Sirius gasped in pain. Sirius's mother walked up to him and slapped him hard in the face leaving a bright red mark. People around them gasped. Sirius looked at his mother with a look of hatred.

Orion Black grabbed his son's jaw tightly making Sirius grimace in pain. He turned Sirius's face toward him so they were eye to eye. His other hand still had a grip on Sirius's shoulder.

"Black!" Daniel Potter yelled from across the station. He and Mr. Lupin were walking toward them followed by their wives and James and Remus.

Mr. Black sneered at them then turned back to Sirius. "Think they're going to save you?" he asked mockingly squeezing Sirius's jaw. Sirius winced. "When you come home for your Christmas holiday, and you _will_ come home, you will learn your proper place."

Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin had appeared at Mr. Black's shoulder.

"Let him go." Mr. Potter said.

"Don't tell me what to do with my son." Mr. Black shot still looking at Sirius.

"Sirius, are you okay?" Mr. Lupin asked.

Sirius didn't answer. Truth be told he was in a quite bit of pain.

"He's fine." Mr. Black said never taking his eyes of Sirius "aren't you?"

Sirius looked at Mr. Lupin.

"Aren't you?" Mr. Black said tightening his grip, as if it could go tighter, on Sirius's shoulder and face.

Sirius winced and looked back at his father. "Yes sir." He said through clenched teeth .

"There see." Mr. Black said. "Now, leave me to deal with my _son_." He spat the last word at Sirius.

"Afraid we can't do that Mr. Black." Mr. Potter said.

"Not until you let Sirius go." Lupin said.

Now Mr. Black turned to look at Mr. Lupin and Mr. Potter. He glared at them then looked back at their families standing a little behind them then back to the two men.

"I do not associate with blood traitors and mudblood lovers. And I especially do not let them tell me what to do with _my_ son." He turned back to Sirius and leaned very close and whispered so only Sirius could hear.

"When you get home you will pay for the embarrassment you've caused this family." He poked his wand against Sirius's ribs under his robes so no one could see. "Irego." He whispered. Sirius felt a huge blow as if the air around his chest went solid and hit his ribs at a great speed. Sirius gasped and his face screwed up in pain as he felt a few of his ribs break.

Mr. Potter put his hand on Orion's shoulder. "Let him go." He said dangerously. James had never seen his father so mad. Mr. Lupin had his wand out and was ready to use it.

Mr. Black pushed Sirius aside, making him fall to the ground. Sirius's head bounced on the hard ground. He was stunned for a second and everything threatened to go black. Then he lifted his head and watched as his father walked away with his mother and Regulus. He tried to lift himself up, his shoulders were screaming in protest. He felt some strong arms help him up. He turned his head and saw Mr. Lupin smiling at him while helping him to his feet.

Sirius felt something trickling down his forehead he whipped his forehead with the back of his hand and saw it was smeared with red.

"Here sweetie." Mrs. Potter said waiving their wand at Sirius's forehead. And his cut was healed.

"Thanks." Sirius said whipping his blood smeared hand on his robes.

"You alright mate?" James asked coming up and standing next to Sirius.

"Yah I'm fine." He looked up and saw the apprehensive faces staring at him. "Really." He said with a small laugh. "Besides," He said in a quieter tone. "Its not like its never happened before."

They all looked at him with unchanged looks.

The train whistle suddenly blew making all of them jump.

"Come on we'd better get on the train." Sirius said. He grabbed his trunk and walked to the train.

"Don't worry," James said to his mother. "We'll keep an eye on him."

"Keep an eye on who?" Jack Neeva panted as he, his parents and younger brother Kelly arrived behind the Potters.

"Cutting it a little late aren't you?" James asked teasingly.

"Very." Mr. Neeva said giving Jack and Kelly both farewell hugs. "Have a good term boys, we'll see you at Christmas."

"Look after Kelly for us Jack." Mrs. Neeva said taking her husband's place.

"Always do Mum." Jack said hugging her back.

The train whistle blew again.

"Go on now, quickly." Mrs. Potter said.

James, Remus Jack and Kelly ran to the train and threw their trunks on and boarded just as the train began to pull away.

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**There.** **Now what do you think?** This story is pretty much all written, I just need to make a few adjustments, but I've decided to put it up in pieces. Review and the new chapter could be up very soon.


	2. Finally Away

**Hello again.** This is the second part, hope you like it. And thanks for reviewing.

"See you all in the great hall." Kelly said to Jack, James and Remus and he went off to find his friends.

"Now then, lets go find Sirius." James said.

"He's already on here?" Jack asked following James.

James nodded.

"I was wondering where he was. Why did he board so early?"

James shook his head and silently looked into the compartments looking for Sirius.

"He got in a fight with his parents." Remus answered.

"A bad one?" Jack asked.

Remus nodded.

"Ah!" James exclaimed. "Here he is."

He pulled open the compartment door and he, Jack and Remus entered to find Sirius sitting by the window looking out of it with a glare on his face.

"You alright mate?" James grunted as he heaved his trunk onto the rack.

Sirius sniffed, the turned around and smiled at them. "Yah, how could I not be?" He said lightly. "I'm getting out of my freaking house and away from my freaking parents for four whole months."

"Sirius." James sat down beside him.

"James really." Sirius cut him off. "I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay mate." James said reluctantly.

"Well I have no clue what's going on here." Jack said loudly, breaking the tension. "But I do know of some pretty good schemes I thought up over the summer."

The rest of the trip was spent joyously playing games and talking about new pranks to play on the new unsuspecting first years and the suspecting second through seventh years.

When the train finally pulled up to the train station it was dark and very windy.

"Holy crap!" Sirius exclaimed when he stepped off the train and was hit with a large gust of cold wind. He pulled his cloak tightly around him; his hair was flipping wildly around his face.

"Let's get in a carriage quick!" James yelled over the wind. His hair was flipping in the wind too.

Sirius, James, Jack and Remus ran to the nearest carriage and climbed it, grateful for the shelter from the wind.

"This wind is going to blow the first years away." Remus said.

With a slight jerk the carriage started its way up to the castle.

"I'm so hungry I'm going to implode." James said leaning back in his seat. "I hope the sorting doesn't last too long."

"I know what you mean." Jack said. "It seems like the trolley was forever ago."

As the carriage pulled up to the castle the four Marauders tightened their cloaks around them and raced to the castle.

"Man am I glad we don't have to go on the lake like the first years." Sirius said.

Suddenly he felt a cold breeze on his neck.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed. He turned around, but there was nothing there. "Peeves!" he yelled.

With a rude pop Peeves appeared and laughed loudly. He then disappeared and a few moments later a third year girl cried out.

"Let's go sit down." Remus said.

"Come on!" Sirius moaned Sitting by James and across from Jack and Remus holding his stomach. "Lets get this stupid sorting crap over with so we can eat."

"Patience is a virtue Padfoot." Remus said trying to sound serious.

Sirius, too hungry to think of a good enough retort, shot Remus a scuz.

"Oi, look how small the little victims are." James said as the first years came into the great hall in a line.

Sirius, Jack and Remus laughed at James's name for them and nodded in agreement.

"They're so small its almost too easy." Jack said.

Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.

"I said almost." Jack defended himself.

The sorting took far too long for the Marauder's tastes, but was finally over when the last little victim was sorted into Ravenclaw.

Dumbledore stood up and the great hall went silent.

"So good to see you new and returning faces." He beamed. "I have two words for you: Bubblegum Jubhock.

At that moment the golden platters lining the long house tables filled with steaming food.

Sirius moaned and threw himself onto a roasted turkey in front of him, tearing off it's legs.

"Hungry Padfoot?" Jack laughed as Sirius now piled about half a bowl of mashed potatoes onto his plat, his mouth almost bursting with roasted turkey.

"Wmbk lopem" Sirius tried to reply.

"Sorry Sirius mate." James patted Sirius's back laughing. "We don't understand foodese."

Sirius smiled and stuffed his mouth with mashed potatoes and began piling stuffing and corn onto his plate.

Wow." Sirius leaned back with a large, contented sigh. "I always love the start of term feast."

"I know what you mean." James said finishing off the last of his chocolate ice cream cake.

"I don't think I could eat anything else without exploding." Jack said pushing his plate which still had a little bit of pudding on it away.

"I'm so ready for bed now." Remus said tiredly.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

Dumbledore stood up again as soon as all the food had vanished and beamed at the students.

"Another glorious year." He said. "I have only a few announcements to make before you lose yourselves in a wonderful dreamland."

Sirius moaned loudly.

"I'll try to make it brief for you sake Mr. Black." Dumbledore smiled. "Now, first years will please note the forest that boarders the castle grounds is off limits. A few of our older students should try to keep that in mind this year as well." Dumbledore looked at the Marauders. "Also, no magic is to be used in the corridor between classes, a list of contraband items are posted on Mr. Filch's office door and Quidditch tryouts will be held at the first of October, any students second year and above please contact your head of house if you wish to try out. Now, your beds await you. Tomorrow brings a new dawn for us all." Dumbledore turned slightly then added as a side note; "Oh, and please, no exploding toilets this year." He once again looked at the Marauders, all of whom had evil grins on their faces. "Now off to bed."

There was a deafening scrape of benches as everyone stood up to go to their dormitories.

"See you guys later." Remus said as he went off to go usher first years to the Gryffindor tower (part of his prefect duties).

That night Sirius lay awake in his bed. He was very tired, but could not fall asleep; his mind was racing over the things of the day, and the things to come. They mostly all bordered around his Mother and Father.

The incident at the train station was truly embarrassing; he told James it didn't bother him, but he could feel his face redden whenever he thought about it. Before it was okay because no one knew what his father was truly like, but now they would all probably suspect something.

He had to figure out something to tell them, but he didn't want anyone to know the truth. He could just say that it didn't really hurt and that never happened before, that he had been testing his parent's patience that whole day, and the day before too. He didn't have to tell them how bad it really was, he didn't have to tell them that what happened at the train station was nothing, that he had had much worse from both of his parents.

Yes, that's what he would say. It wasn't really that bad, it had never happened before and it won't happen again. As far as everyone is concerned his parents don't abuse him.

James made a grunt in his sleep and Sirius looked over at him. The only problem with his plan was convincing James and Remus. Jack might be easier because he hadn't seen it and he could easily enough say that James and Remus were exaggerating, that it looked worse than it was. And James and Remus… if he could act it off well enough he was sure they would eventually believe him.

Sirius sighed and closed his eyes. Good, this was good. He had a plan now, nobody would know. No one would know.

**So, what did you think?** The next one will be up tomorrow or the next day, please review.


	3. Friends and Hogwarts

**Hello again!** Thanks for your reviews, they make me write and update quicker. I shall now respond to some of your reviews. Hollyclaw- Thanks a million, I love Sirius abuse stuff too. And, I love Sirius oc fics, and I'll introduce her in this chapter. ForeverSirius77- Nothing much happens in this chapter either, but the next one will be pretty good. This one and the last one were more just to introduce Sirius's life stuff. And thanks to ambush99, MilyMB, and Chocobasse

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It was two weeks into the term, and Sirius was feeling great. His plan had worked perfectly. Jack and everyone else had believed him quickly, and with time and some good acting on his part James and Remus did too.

He had received his first of the year howler from his mother on the third day of school, his classes seemed easily enough and his ribs were finally starting to feel better.

Life was good. The full moon was coming up in three days, so they would have a great adventure soon.

It was a perfect September day; the four Marauders were sitting in the sunny courtyard under a tree. Sirius was leaning against the tree's trunk, with James lying on the grass and his head in Sirius's lap. Remus was sitting cross legged next to Sirius, a large book open in his lap and Jack was lying on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, his head supported on his hands.

"Hey guys." Lilly Potter said walking up with her friends Alison Crest, Katie Lanchester, and Jessica Winters. The four of them sat down next to the Marauders.

"Lilly, my blessed flower." James said with a wide grin.

"Hello James." Lilly kissed James's forehead.

"Sirius," Alison said sitting next to him and putting her arm around him, "You get better looking every day."

"Don't tell him that." Jack exclaimed jokingly, "His head will grow bigger. Besides, everyone knows I'm the good looking one."

Katie nodded her head in agreement.

"So…potions today with Slytherin." Sirius said suggestively.

"Yah," James said catching on. "What should we do? I'm thinking we have to at least blow up Snape's cauldron."

"Oh at least." Sirius said. "But I was thinking about doing something a little more… drastic."

"Pink hair?" Jack suggested.

"We did that four times last year." Remus said taking a drink of juice.

"Um… we could…oh! On no! I got it!"Sirius said excitedly. "How about a little Pinocchio spell."

"What?" asked James, Remus, and Jack

"Pinocchio." Sirius said. "We put a sell on dear old Snivelly that would make his nose grow whenever he lies!"

"That would be _so_ perfect!" James exclaimed.

"And he lies all the time!" Remus said.

"Oh no, not you too Remus." Lily moaned.

"Oh dear old Moony here has come up with some of our best ideas." Sirius said putting his arm around Remus.

"The only reason he doesn't get detention as much is he's too clever to get caught." James said throwing some grass at Remus.

Remus laughed and turned to Sirius, "Do you know how to do it?"

"I _think_ so." Sirius said slowly. "I think it's a simple charm, but I'm not quite sure. It's a silent charm so it'll be really easy to do during class, but I think I should check it first." Sirius waived his wand.

"What did you just do?" James asked skeptically.

"Tell a lie Jack." Sirius said.

"What!" Jack exclaimed covering his nose with his hand.

"Tell a lie." Sirius said simply.

"W-what should I say?" Jack asked slowly.

"Say you're a girl." James said.

"I'm a girl." Jack said. Immediately his hand moved as if something were pushing it.

"Ahh!" he cried. He moved his hand away, his nose had grown at least a good two inches. "Undo it!"

Sirius, James and Remus were almost falling off the benches with laughter.

"Sirius!" Jack yelled.

"Sirius, come on, undo the spell." Katie said.

"What's the matter Katie, don't like having a long nosed bird for a boyfriend?" James laughed.

Jack glared at James.

"Come on Sirius." Katie said.

Sirius nodded, whipping tears of laughter from his face. "Alright, alright." He waived his wand at Jack and immediately his nose grew back.

"So, it works then." James said, laying back on Sirius's lap.

"Looks like." Sirius said smiling.

"Well, let's get ready for class then." Remus said. "We have Charms and History of magic before potions."

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"Shut up!" Sirius whispered pushing Jack's hand off his arm. "I would have done it already if you'd stop bugging me!"

"Alright." Jack said rolling his eyes.

Sirius waived his wand toward Snape then smiled. "Its done." He whispered to Remus, James and Jack.

"Now all we have to do is get him to lie." James said.

"Oh that's not going to take long," Remus said with a smile.

"What did you do?" Sirius asked.

"_I_ did nothing. He just put in 3 goat hairs instead of 3 horse hairs though. And we all know he's not going to admit that. See now, Slughorn is asking him about it."

Sure enough just across the room Professor Slughorn was questioning Snape whether he had put in the wrong ingredients and as Snape shook his head his nose began to grow and the more he shook his head and insisted he had put in horse hairs the more his nose grew. All four of the Marauders were shaking with laughter and once the bell rang they shot out of the room and burst.

Snape burst out of the classroom, his race beat read. "POTTER!" he bellowed. "YOU DID THIS!"

James shook his head, tears forming at his eyes. "N-no."

"YES YOU DID! I KNOW YOU DID!" his nose grew again.

"You don't _know_ I did it." James said. "because I didn't."

"BLACK THEN." He rounded on Sirius. "I KNOW ONE OF YOU DID!" his nose stayed the same.

"AH! IT WAS YOU BLACK! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!"

"Oh, and what are you going to do Snivelly?" Sirius mocked.

Snape leaned close to Sirius. "I'm going to tell your mother." He whispered dangerously so only Sirius could hear.

Sirius's eyes grew wide and he looked at Snape. "You wouldn't!" he exclaimed.

"Oh yes I would, and I will. Now undo it."

Sirius waived his wand and immediately Snape's nose went back to normal.

He backed up and gave a malicious look at Sirius then turned and left.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed.

"James." Remus said putting a hand on his shoulder and giving him a stern look. He then looked softly at Sirius. "What did he say Padfoot?"

Sirius shook his head, a look of deep worry on his face.

"He threatened you Padfoot, with what?"

"I- um I don't want to talk about it. Let's go, we'll be late for Herbology." With that he turned and walked up the stairs.

"Something is wrong with him James and I don't think it's as light as he makes it seem to be." Remus said as they watched Sirius's retreating back.

"I know." James said solemnly .

The whole rest of the day Sirius was rather quiet, it was obvious he was worried about something and the answer of what came that next day at breakfast.

Sirius, James, Jack and Remus were sitting with Lilly, Alison, Katie and Jessica eating breakfast when along with the many owls for morning mail was a large black owl. Sirius knew it was from his mother, and that it would not be a pleasant letter.

"Thanks Archuletus." Sirius said untying the letter from the large Owl's leg. Immediately Archuletus took off back out of the window.

Sirius opened the envelope and pulled out the heave parchment.

My worthless son, Sirius rolled his eyes

You disappoint your father and I with your disrespect for pureblood at school yesterday. You will pay for your actions boy; mark my words you will pay. You will learn proper respect, you will be shown how a noble Black should act, and if you do not act accordingly you will be punished. Sirius bit his lip and a chill ran down his spine, that's never good. I'd better not get any letters from your brother telling me how you are bullying him and his fellow house mates or there will be an even greater hell to pay. Be warned boy, be warned. Walburga Black

Sirius stared at the letter for a moment, dread rising in his heart. He looked up at his friends opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out he looked back down at the letter. He felt a hand on his back and looked up. James was looking at him concerned.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

Sirius sighed and slapped on a fake smile and crumpled up the paper. "Ya, it's fine. Just her regular you know, worthless son, should know better, stuff like that." He knew James didn't believe him, nobody else probably did either, but he didn't care.

"So… Hogsmeade is this weekend right?" Sirius asked trying to change the subject.

"Sure is." James said, knowing what Sirius was trying to do. "What kind of havoc do you think we could cause this time?"

"Why don't we just have a quiet visit for once?" Lily asked, sliding her arm through James's.

"Quiet?" Jack asked. "Not possible."

"I must agree with Jack on this one." Sirius said. "It's the first of the year, it has to be monumental."

"I can still be monumental without all your pranks and stuff." Alison said.

"Yah, it can be just the eight of us, we can have a nice picnic or something." Jessica said. "You would like that wouldn't you Remus."

Remus smiled at her, "It does sound nice."

"Oh Remus." James moaned. "Your bringing us down mate."

"Sorry guys." Remus said pulling Jessica close and winking at James and Sirius.

"So much for that whole bros before hoes thing." Sirius said.

Jack shrugged. "I guess we can do a picnic."

"Your just sucking up to Katie." Sirius said.

"Better believe it." Jack smiled.

"What do you think Prongs." Sirius asked James.

"I guess we can start off quietly." James said lazily. "Give Hogsmeade a false sense of security."

"Okay," Sirius said. "Quiet picnic it is." He pointed his wand at the wad of paper and immediately it burst into flames. Everyone was quiet as they watched the paper curl into black flakes and soon all that was left of Sirius's dread was ashes.

**Okay, that's it for now.** The next one will be going home for Christmas it won't be up until Tuesday by the earliest, I'm going away for vacation over the weekend and won't have a computer.Keep reviewing and it will be up sooner! Lots of love!


	4. Going home too soon

**Hey guys.** Sorry this took longer to update, but its been a little bit of a busy week. And I was writing quite a lot for this Chapter. I had to split it up so it wouldn't be so long for one page. Also, just so you know Sirius doesn't run away yet. He won't do it until summer; this is just to give you a taste of his home life. Enjoy it!

Christmas break came very fast, too fast for Sirius, and he found himself on the train to London much sooner than he would have liked. Christmas meant going back home, and that meant being around his parents some more. Just the thought made Sirius's heart beat faster.

Sirius's friends noticed their friends change in mood, usually he was joking and laughing all the time, but now he was rather sullen.

"Are you alright Sirius?" Alison asked.

The eight friends were sitting in the train compartment talking, all except for Sirius that is. For the past five minutes he had been staring out of the window with a lost look on his face.

Sirius jumped upon hearing his name. "What?" he asked.

"I asked if you were alright, your being very quiet." Alison said resting her hand on his knee.

"Oh yah," Sirius said with a wave of his hand. "I'm fine, just a little tired."

"Well we'll all be going home soon." Katie said happily, her head resting on Jack's shoulder. "Then we can all get some rest and a break from school work!"

"It will be nice to go home won't it." Jack said.

Everyone nodded except for Sirius.

"I wish I could stay here." He said gloomily.

"I wish you could come to my house." James said. "So your Mum definitely said no?"

Sirius had written his mother a few days ago asking if he could go to the Potter's for the holiday, and had gotten his mother's reply that morning.

"do you want to read the letter?" he asked fishing it from his pocket and handing it to James.

_Sirius, _

_So, you want to go to your little friends house for the holiday? You are a coward, trying to squirm your way out of being punished for your actions. Its not going to work. You will come home and you will be punished._

_Walburga Black_

"Wow." James said handing the letter back to Sirius. "I'd say that's a no."

Sirius nodded in vigorous agreement.

"What does she mean by punished for your actions?" James seemed a little concerned.

"Punished?" Alison exclaimed. "You're going to spend your Christmas holiday being punished?"

"Its not that bad." Sirius lied. "I'll probably just be sent to my room for a few days, maybe they'll have me read some stupid books on dark arts or something."

"That's sounds like a really awful way to spend your Christmas though." Emily said. "Don't you think Remus?"

Remus looked up from the large book on his lap, "Yah. It really does. The reading part wouldn't be too bad for you to do if it weren't books about the dark arts and stuff."

Sirius shrugged. "I'll catch up on my sleep I guess." He didn't tell them that the reason he would be catching up on his sleep would be because he would be unconscious.

As the train pulled into the station Sirius spotted his mother and father standing side by side, both wearing black and both with haughty expressions on their faces.

"Good luck mate." James said, looking over Sirius's shoulder.

"Yah, I'll try not to get killed." Sirius laughed.

As he stepped off the train with James, Remus and Jack (the girls had left already) they all laughed, they knew what Sirius's life was like at his house, but it always seemed to make it easier for him to joke about it. The three of them walked over to where Mr. and Mrs. Potter were talking with the Lupins and the Neeva's.

"Hi Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Lupin and Neeva." Sirius said.

"Hello Sirius dear." Mrs. Lupin said. Mrs. Potter hugged him. "How are you doing sweetheart?"

"Oh, I'm fine." Sirius said.

"Sirius," Sirius turned around and saw Regulus standing at his elbow. "They're here." He said with a nod across the way.

Sirius looked up and saw his parents looking at them.

"Well, we shouldn't keep them waiting." Sirius said. He said goodbye to his friends and their parents.

"You're sure you'll be alright?" Mr. Lupin said obviously remembering the drop off at the first of the year.

"Oh ya, I'll be fine." He said bravely and walked over to his parents.

"Sirius." Walburga Black said.

She then moved to Regulus and pulled him into a loving embrace. Regulus smirked at Sirius over his mother's shoulder.

Sirius felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see his father standing behind him with a very stern look.

"Are you ready to learn your place?" He said as his grip tightened on Sirius's shoulder. Sirius winced and set his jaw and glared at his father.

"Are you ready to pay for the embarrassment you've caused this family."

Sirius glared at his father and didn't say a word.

Mr. Black smirked at Sirius in a superior way. "Come boy." He said, dragging Sirius painfully along by the shoulder.

James, Jack and Remus watched silently with their parents as Sirius disappeared with his father.

"I do hope he'll be alright." Mrs. Potter said.

"He said he'd probably just spend most of the holiday stuck in his room." James said.

"Poor boy." Mrs. Neeva said. "Christmas break is supposed to be fun."

"His mother said he couldn't come over for even a few days?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Doesn't sound like it." James said. "But maybe she'll change her mind."

"Yah." Jack laughed. "Maybe he'll be let out for good behavior."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sirius fell hard to the floor as his head throbbed with pain from being punched by his father.

"Get up boy." Archulus Black hissed.

Sirius pulled himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the banister.

Mr. Black grabbed Sirius's throat and slammed him against the wall. "Weak!" he yelled as Sirius gasped and tried to pry his father's hand away. "You are no Black! You are a disgrace!"

He threw Sirius to the floor again and kicked him hard in the ribs.

Sirius let out a cry of pain as he felt his ribs crack.

"Get out of my sight." Archulus said disgusted. "Go to your room until I summon you for dinner."

Sirius closed his bedroom door and walked slowly to his bed. He collapse on his back and took a deep breath, he could feel blood dripping from his temple and decided he should get a rag and wash it off.

He pried himself from his bed and made his way to his bathroom where he wet a rag and put it to his head. As he held the wet rag to his head he looked in the mirror; his lip was swollen and cracked, and he was definitely going to have a black eye. This was going to be long vacation.

00000000000000000000000000000000000

Later that week James stood at the Leaky Cauldron waiting for Sirius, Jack and Remus. They were all supposed to meet there for lunch and some Christmas shopping, and then they were going to James's house for dinner and a sleep over.

Sirius had written yesterday that he was going to be able to come to Diagon Ally and to dinner, but he wasn't sure if he could stay for the night.

James had to admit that he had been worried about Sirius since he left the train station on Monday, but he felt a little better knowing that he would see Sirius soon.

Just then Jack and Remus both entered the Leaky Cauldron and walked over to James.

"Hey!" Jack exclaimed giving James a brotherly hug. "Where's Sirius?"

"Not here yet." James gave Remus a hug too when he jumped as an owl swooped by their heads and landed on a table next to James.

"Archimedes?" Remus said.

James untied the letter on the owl's leg and it took off, the letter was addressed to him in Sirius's writing.

James opened the letter. It was short and written in very rushed hand writing. He read the letter quickly then sighed.

"Isn't he coming?" Jack asked.

"James nodded, "He's just going to be a little late."

"How late?" Remus asked.

"He said about an hour."

"Why?" Jack asked taking the letter from James.

"He didn't say." James said more to Remus, because Jack was reading the letter. "He just said that he's still coming, but that he would be about an hour late and not to worry and to just eat without him."

"Huh." Jack handed the letter to Remus who then read it.

"Its weird that he didn't say anything else." Remus said after he had read the letter.

"Yah," James agreed. "Should we eat then?" he asked, trying to lighten the concerned mood.

"Might as well." Jack said and the three of them sat down at a table and began looking at the menu.

Sirius checked himself quickly in one of the mirrors standing on display in the window of a muggle shop next to the Leaky Cauldron. He flattened his disheveled hair, and adjusted his robes. His cheeks were red from running most of the way there from his house, which in a way was a good thing because now his friends wouldn't be able to see the red mark on his cheek where his mother had slapped him. He leaned in closer to the window and examined his face closer for any other noticeable marks. Over his right eye there was a cut, but it wasn't that bad anymore, and luckily his lip wasn't swollen anymore, though it was still split, but it wasn't bad either. The only problem was the bruise on his right cheekbone. It was very noticeable; as it was very purple surrounded with black. He had decided he would tell the others that he had gotten into a fight with Regulus. They would certainly believe that, seeing as how the two of them often fought at school.

Sirius stepped back; overall, he didn't look too bad. He slapped on a cocky grin and walked into the Leaky Cauldron. He spotted James, Jack and Remus sitting at a table with empty plates.

"Hey guys!" he exclaimed walking up behind James.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed, turning around. "Nice of you to show up."

"What happened to your eye?" Jack asked.

"Got in a freaking fight with Regulus." Sirius said, just like he had practiced.

"Must have been a bad one." Remus said as he, James and Jack got up from the table.

"Actually, its really embarrassing." Sirius said. "I fell down the stairs and hit my head on the banister."

"Ouch." James said. He whipped out his wand and tapped the bricks to Diagon Ally and his three friends followed him onto the busy Christmas crowd.

"So, why are you late?" James asked Sirius.

Crap, Sirius thought, he hadn't come up with an excuse as to why he was late. The real reason was that he was busy getting hit by his mother and sneaking out of his bedroom window, but what was he supposed to say to them? He was never very good at lying on the spot to his friends. Anyone else and it was a since, but for some reason he just couldn't do it with them. Unless he had something pre-planned that is.

"My mother wouldn't let me come any earlier, she kept saying she needed me to do stuff. It was really annoying." Sirius said a little too fast.

"Oh." James said simply. Then he started looking in shop windows.

He doesn't believe me! Sirius thought with panic. He knows something's wrong, he knows I'm hiding something! He doesn't suspect the truth does he? What would I do, what would I tell him!

"Hey," James said suddenly, making Sirius jump. "I think my Mum would like one of those." He pointed at a set of potion making herbs.

Sirius felt a flow of relief go through him; James didn't know anything.

The rest of the time at Diagon Ally went smoothly, and Sirius enjoyed himself. The first fun he had had since his holiday started and he didn't want it to end.

When the marauders got to the Potter's house Sirius was starving, he hadn't eaten anything since yesterday morning! When Mrs. Potter said dinner would be ready in an hour Sirius felt like he was going to die waiting. The smell of Mrs. Potter's amazing cooking tortured him for the whole hour and when they finally sat down at the table Sirius thought he might implode from hunger.

"Hungry mate?" James laughed as Sirius piled his plate with as much as it would hold.

"I'm bloody starving." Sirius said.

"When was the last time you ate dear?" Mrs. Potter asked warmly.

"Yesterday morning." Sirius answered without thinking.

"What!" the whole table exclaimed.

Oops. Sirius thought.

"Well, I um…" he couldn't think of anything to say!

"Didn't your parents feed you at all?" Mr. Potter asked.

"Well, they…" Sirius stammered.

"Is everything okay Sirius?" Mrs. Potter asked seriously.

"Yah, yah its fine. Everything is fine. I just slept most of yesterday, I wasn't feeling well so I didn't eat. You know how that is; when you're sick you don't really feel like eating."

Mrs. Potter looked at him skeptically for a moment then smiled. "I'm happy you're feeling better then."

Sirius smiled back, relieved that she dropped the subject.

"So, Sirius." James said swallowing his green beans. "Did your parents say if you could sleep over?"

Sirius smiled. "Yah, they said I can." He lied.

"Great!" James, Jack and Remus exclaimed.

"We thought for sure they wouldn't let you even come to Diagon Ally, let alone stay the night." James said happily.

"Yah." Sirius smiled.

That night was one of the best in Sirius's life. Every time he came over to James's house he fell in love with everything about it.

It's size was roughly the same as Sirius's house, maybe a little smaller, but it had warmth that Sirius's house never had: its walls were bright and happy with smiling pictures of relatives as opposed to the dark walls and scowling faces and house elf heads in Sirius's house, the floors were soft and warm with plush carpet where Sirius's just had cold hard wood. The biggest difference, however, was the love that was in the Potter house. Mr. and Mrs. Potter loved James and each other, and James loved them back. Sirius often had wondered what it was like to have parents who loved him and when he was at the Potter's he got a glimpse of it.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Potter treated Sirius just like a son (he had been over there many times without Jack and Remus) and he felt like part of the family when he was there. Though, he still couldn't bring himself to call Mr. and Mrs. Potter Mum and Dad like they had repeatedly asked him. He still called them Daniel and Sharon.

Sirius should have known that it was all too good to last though. After all, he had snuck out of his house and went to Diagon Ally and slept at James's house when his parents both specifically told him no. It was a painful no too. He knew there would be consequences, but he didn't worry about it. He just figured that he would get it when he got back home; he didn't expect it that morning.


	5. Going home too soon part two

**Here is the next part.**

That morning as Sirius sat at the table eating breakfast with his friends and Mr. and Mrs. Potter he thought about what awaited him when he got home. Nobody was planning to go home until the afternoon, so he was trying not to think about it too much now. He was going to have fun while his freedom lasted.

But his hopes of any fun that morning were soon crushed by a faint tapping at the window. A large black owl was sitting on the window seal with a red envelope tied to its leg.

"Oh no." Sirius moaned.

"What is it?" Mrs. Potter asked as Mr. Potter let the owl in.

"Archimedes." Sirius said as the owl landed in front of him. "With a wonderful letter."

Sirius untied the red letter from the owl's leg and it immediately took off.

"He never waits around does he." Jack commented, watching Archimedes.

"No." Sirius said flatly, staring at the howler.

"Open it dear." Mrs. Potter prodded.

"It'll be worse if you don't." Mr. Potter said.

Sirius sighed and opened the howler; there was a loud bang as the howler rose into the air.

SIRIUS ORION BLACK! YOU DISGRACEFUL CHILD. YOU GET HOME AT ONCE! YOUR FATHER AND I TOLD YOU, YOU MAY NOT GO TO THE POTTER'S! YOU HAVE DISOBEYED US AND BROUGHT SHAME TO THE FAMILY BY YOUR FILTHY DISREGUARD. YOU WILL BE PUNISHED BOY! SHAME OF MY FLASH, YOU WILL BE PUNISHED! GET HOME NOW!

The howler burst into flames and everyone at the table was sitting in silence, in shock.

"Well," Sirius said rising to take his empty plate to the sink. "I guess I'd better go home now."

"You said your parents said yes." James said still looking at the smoldering ashes of the howler.

"Yah." Sirius said. "I might have lied about that."

"They said no?" Jack said looking at Sirius.

"Obviously." Sirius said, a little more harshly than he had intended. He took a calming breath. "Look, I'm sorry to ruin everyone's morning. I know my Mother's shrieks aren't the best way to start the day off. Daniel, do you think I could use your floo powder, that's the quickest way I can think of getting home."

"Oh, of course." Mr. Potter said with a jump back to reality.

Everyone followed Sirius quietly into the living room where the fireplace with the floo powder was.

"Your Mum sure sounded pretty mad Padfoot." James said with a sidelong look at Sirius's face.

"Yah." Sirius said slowly, nodding his head.

"You gonna be alright?" Remus asked.

"I'll be fine." Sirius lied. "This just means more time in my room and a lot more yelling."

"If you want me or Daniel to accompany you home and explain the situation to your mother," Mrs. Potter started, but Sirius cut her off.

"Thanks, but that would probably just make it worse."

He grabbed a handful of floo powder from the silver dish on the mantel and threw it into the flames of the Potter's fire.

"You are sure that you'll be okay?" Mr. Potter asked with sincere concern and Sirius stepped into the fire.

Sirius hesitated for a moment; he wasn't used to people caring about him so much, but he couldn't tell them.

"Yah I'm sure." He said confidently with a smile.

"Number twelve Grimmauld Place!" Sirius yelled, and then he found himself spinning in a whirl of green.

When Sirius stopped spinning he found himself standing in the fireplace in the parlor, both his parents were sitting in arm chairs by the fireplace and were on their feet the second Sirius appeared.

Mr. Black stepped quickly over to his son and backhanded him across the face.

Sirius barely managed to keep his footing, his head was spinning.

"You abhorrent burden.!" Orion Black yelled. "How dare you rebel against my words!" he backhanded Sirius again.

This time Sirius fell, hitting his head on the marble of the fireplace hearth. Sirius lifted himself on his hands and felt blood dripping down the side of his face.

"You will learn what happens when you disobey us!" Mr. Black pointed his wand at Sirius. "Crucio!"

Sirius felt pain envelope his whole body. His mind couldn't think, all he could do was scream in great pain.

After what seemed like hours Mr. Black lifted the curse, Sirius lay on the floor panting, his throat raw from screaming.

"Get up boy." Mr. Black said repulsively.

Sirius stood shakily, out of the corner of his eye he could see his mother standing aside with a smug look on her face.

"Up to your room." Mr. Black said shortly. "No meals."

Sirius turned to walk out of the parlor.

"Wait." Walburga Black said.

Sirius stopped and turned to face his mother.

She walked up haughtily to Sirius, her eyes full of hate.

"I haven't had my say." She said.

Sirius braced himself.

Slap! Sirius fell to the floor again, his cheek bleeding where his mother's ring had cut him.

"Insolent, shame of my flesh!" she screamed. She kicked him hard in the ribs with her pointed shoes. "You disgust me! How dare you bring such shame to this family!"

Sirius curled into a ball, trying to shield his head and already broken ribs.

Walburga continued to scream and kick Sirius until she went hoarse, then she sent him to his room.

Sirius climbed up the stairs painfully, he vaguely wondered where Regulus was when he remembered that he was at the Malfoy's until that night. Good, he thought. It was always embarrassing for him to have Regulus see him like this. He was, after all, the older brother.

When he got to his room he did the usual procedure of wetting a rag and wiping off the blood. Then he slowly made his way to his bed and lowered himself onto his back. Even that hurt. It hurt to breath, it hurt not to breath, it hurt to be still and it hurt to move.

He had had the Cruciatus curse used on him before, but it never stopped hurting like the devil.

You could never get used to that type of pain. Sirius thought as he closed his eyes, ready to drift off into a painless slumber.

"Sirius." A soft voice said.

Sirius opened his eyes, there was no one in his room.

"Sirius." The voice said again.

Sirius sat up a little bit, what was going on?

"Sirius!" the voice yelled this time. It was James's voice! The two way mirror in his nightstand!

Sirius went tot grab the mirror but stopped as he began to open the drawer. He was in no condition to be seen by anybody at the moment.

"Sirius come on mate." James pleaded.

Sirius grabbed the mirror and covered it with his rag.

"Hey James." He was shocked by the sound of his scratchy voice.

"Sirius? Where are you?" James asked.

"Right here. I'm in the tub, so I covered the mirror with a washcloth." Stupid lie, he knew, but its all he could come up with.

"Oh." James said. "I was just checking if you were okay, I've been calling for the past hour and a half!"

"Yah, I was downstairs." Sirius laid back again with a groan.

"You alright mate?" James asked. "You don't sound so good."

"Yah, I've been having a yelling bout with my parents."

"How did it go?"

"We're all pretty hoarse."

"My Mum and Dad were pretty worried when you left. So were Jack, Remus and I, Jack and Remus just left. I promised to write them once I heard from you."

"Oh, okay." Sirius didn't know what else to say.

"Your sure your okay?" James asked sounding rather unbelieving and concerned.

"I'm fine James." Sirius said. "I'm just really tired. Being screamed at for the past hour and a half makes one rather tired."

"I can understand that." James said still sounding unconvinced. "I'd feel better if I could see your face though."

"I've got to go now. Mother is calling me." Sirius lied. "Don't want to keep her waiting, especially with the mood she's in."

"Alright." James said. "But Sirius…"

"Yah?"

"You, you'd yell me if there were anything wrong right? You know, if you were in any sort of trouble?"

"Of course I would." Another lie. "I'm fine James really. Like I said; I'm just tired and hoarse from yelling. I'll see you at the train station."

"Alright, bye Padfoot."

"Bye Prongs."

Sirius put the mirror back in his nightstand and closed his eyes. He really didn't like lying to James, especially when he sounded so worried, but he couldn't possibly tell him. He couldn't tell anyone. This was his burden.

The rest of his holiday was pretty much the same: being beaten then sent up to his room. Christmas was the only day that held any relief as his Mother and Father were going to a relative's house with Regulus and would be gone all day. Sirius had the run of the house.

He woke up and opened his presents from his friends and his parents, they gave him a rather large book on dark curses, then went downstairs and ate. The whole day was very relaxing and calming, and a few days later he found himself getting ready to go back to Hogwarts; back to safety.

000000000000000000000000000000

James and his parents were standing at the train station waiting anxiously for Sirius to show up with his parents. Since his talk over the mirror James hadn't heard for Sirius but for one very short letter:

_James,_

_Hey, I appreciate your letters and all, but it really would be better if you didn't write anymore. I won't be able to write you either. My parents are pretty angry and they yell every time I get or send a letter. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine._

_ Sirius Black_

James had done as Sirius had asked and hadn't written back, but it didn't helped matters any, if anything it had made James and his parents more worried about Sirius than they were before. According to Remus and Jack they had both gotten similar letters from Sirius.

Speak of the devil; at that moment Sirius walked through the barrier, led by his father.

"Mum, Dad!" James exclaimed pointing behind them.

"Oh good." Mr. Potter said.

"Oh my, Daniel. Look at him." Mrs. Potter said.

Sirius looked extremely tired; his eyes were red and only part way opened and he shuffled his feet as he followed his father, and he stumbled and almost fell when his father jerked his arm to turn. He followed his father, mother and Regulus a little ways when they stopped by the train.

Mr. and Mrs. Black started talking with some Slytherine parents, and Regulus went over to find his friends. Mr. Black still had hold of Sirius's arm.

"Hey James!" Jack exclaimed, walking up with his parents, brothers and sister.

"Hey Jack." James said distractedly, still looking at Sirius, who now had his eyes closed.

"What's up?" Jack asked. "Where is everybody?"

James turned around and faced Jack and smiled. "Um, Remus isn't here yet, and Sirius is over there with his parents."

Jack looked over at Sirius, "Wow, he doesn't look too good does he."

"He looks like he's about to drop." Jack's eldest brother Frank said.

"Yah." James said gravely.

Sirius could barely stand; he hadn't slept for almost three days now as part of his punishment. His whole body was aching from the last beating from both his mother and father, they had used the Cruciatus curse again, and his ribs certainly hadn't had a chance to heal yet because his mother kept kicking them and re-breaking them. Sirius even wondered if she possibly made them worse, it hurt to breath so badly!

Sirius was just happy that he didn't have any bruises where his friends could see them as most of them were on his chest, back, and arms. He would have to wear long sleeves for a while, but seeing as how it was winter that wouldn't be suspicious at all.

Sirius started to feel himself slip away, he knew he shouldn't sleep, but he was so tired he couldn't keep up. He felt himself starting to fall forward and he didn't have the energy to keep up.

Wham! Sirius's father hit him across the head then pulled Sirius's arm so hard that he almost pulled it out of socket. Sirius was awake now.

"Stand up straight." Mr. Black snapped at his son.

"Yes sir." Sirius said.

Sirius yawned one of the biggest yawns he had ever done in his life and started to look around for his friends.

At first he didn't see them, he was so tired that he wasn't really seeing anything, but then he realized that he had looked past them already. When he realized it was them he caught their eyes smiled sleepily.

James smiled a supportive smile back and waived.

Sirius waived his hand slightly, leaving his arm down.

Sirius's father pulled his arm again, and Sirius made a grimace and looked at his arm. He was surprised it was still attached with how much and how hard his father had been pulling it.

Sirius closed his eyes and leaned his head back. His head was all foggy, he couldn't think of anything but sleep; an all encompassing sleep. One that would make his pain go away for at least a few hours.

"Sirius." Mr. Black pulled Sirius's arm again and turned Sirius to face him.

Sirius opened his eyes and looked at his father. "Yes sir?" He said.

"Go on the train." He said with a nod behind Sirius.

Sirius turned his head to the train and a sudden pain shot through his neck where he had landed wrong when his mother knocked him down last night. He rubbed his neck and looked back at his father.

"Now?" he asked. "Cant I just go say hello,"

No." Mr. Black cut his son off. "Just get on the train, don't speak to any of those mudblood and traitors. I'll be watching."

"Yes sir." Sirius said.

He turned and made his way slowly to the train, stumbling a little bit out of exhaustion when he climbed the few steps onto the train.

It didn't take him long to find an empty compartment seeing as how no one had really boarded yet. Once he shut the compartment door behind him he collapsed on one of the long seats and was immediately asleep.

"Why didn't he come over and say hi?" Hillary asked when Sirius disappeared on the train.

"Looks like his father told him to just get on the train." Mr. Neeva said.

"Probably." James said darkly, glaring at the Mr. and Mrs. Black.

Mr. Potter put a hand on James's shoulder and smiled at him. "You guys had better get on the train too eh?" he said kindly.

"Yah." James said distractedly, then he shook his head and looked at his Dad. "Yah we should." He said more alertly.

"Where's Remus?" Jack asked looking around.

"Um…there!" James exclaimed as Remus ran through the barrier with his parents behind him.

"Hey guys." Remus panted, leaning his hands on his knees.

"Hey Remus," Jack said. "Running a little late?"

Remus made a face at Jack and stood up. "Where's Sirius?"

"His Dad made him get on the train." Kelly said.

Remus looked at the train then at Mr. Black. "Really?" he asked. "Why?"

"Come on Remus." James snapped. "You know as well as all of us that Sirius isn't supposed to associate with us."

"James." Mrs. Potter scolded.

James sighed, "Sorry mate." He said to Remus. "I just get so angry when I see the way they treat him."

"It's okay." Remus said, putting his arm around James's shoulders. "We all do."

The train whistle blew, making the group jump. James, Jack, Remus and Kelly all gave hugs and kisses goodbye then rushed on the train.

"Well," Kelly said. "See you all at dinner." Then he left to go find his own friends.

"Shall we find Sirius?" James asked, already looking in the compartment windows.

"Knowing Sirius he's at the middle or the end of the train." Remus said.

"Or middle-end." Jack said, making them all laugh.

"Here he is." James said sliding open the compartment door. "Hey mate, we-" James stopped and looked closer at Sirius who was lying on his stomach, his head resting on his arm, turned toward the isle

"He's asleep." James said quietly.

"Good." Jack said pushing James out of the doorway so he and Remus could get in. "You should have seen him earlier." He said, turning to Remus. "He looked awful, right ready to drop."

"Wow." Remus said sitting down. "He really doesn't look good."

There were definite bags under Sirius's eyes and his face was pale and thin looking.

"Sleep will help that." James said plopping down by the window.

"I guess so." Remus said sitting by James. "I wonder what happened though."

"Guess we'll find out soon enough." Jack said as he reclined against the wall.

The train gave a slight jerk as it started to go and the three boys felt themselves relax a little bit. They were going back to Hogwarts where things were normal, where Sirius was normal.

After about an hour into the train ride the compartment door slid open and Lily, Alison, Katie and Emily walked in.

"Hey guys." Katie said smiling and sitting next to Jack.

"I was wondering when you guys would show up." James said.

"What's wrong with him?" Alison asked sitting down on the floor beside the sleeping Sirius.

"Don't know." James said. "We haven't talked to him since last week."

"He didn't tell you when you all got on the train?" Emily asked.

"He was asleep when we got here and he hasn't so much as moved yet." Remus said.

"What about before you got on?" Lily asked.

James shook his head, "His Dad made him get on early, we haven't had a chance to talk to him."

Just then the door opened again and the trolley lady came up with a smile. "Anything of the trolley dears?" she asked kindly.

"Should we wake Sirius?" Alison asked.

James thought about it for a second, "Nah, better let him sleep." He said. "He looks like he needs it. I'll get him some stuff for when he wakes up."

He got as many things as he could hold and then dumped it all on the seat.

"Got enough there mate?" Jack laughed, buying some things for himself.

"It's not all for me." James said splitting the pile in half. "This parts for Sirius." He picked up the half pile and dumped it in the corner of the floor by the window and the bench Sirius was currently sleeping on.

"Gosh!" Alison exclaimed looking at her watch. "He must be really tired, we're going to be there in about an hour!"

"Should we wake him up now?" Jack asked.

James nodded and kneeled by Sirius's head. "Hey mate." He said gently.

Sirius didn't move.

"Sirius, come on. We're going to be at Hogwarts soon."

Sirius stirred slightly, but didn't wake.

James sat back down and looked at Sirius for a moment, thinking of the best way t wake him up. Normally he would pull him off the bench of something, but he still didn't look too good, so James thought he had better be gentile.

"I have an idea." Alison said with a smile.

She kneeled by Sirius's head and cupped his cheek in her hand, lifted his head slightly and gently kissed him on the lips.

Slowly, Sirius's eyes opened. He smiled and kissed Alison back.

Alison pulled away with a large smile on her face. "I knew that would work." She said.

Sirius yawned and started to sit up, but once he pushed up he felt a sharp, intense pain in his side. He hissed through his teeth as he tried not to yell out.

"Are you okay?" Remus asked.

"Yah." Sirius groaned, sitting up the rest of the way. His side was throbbing, as was his head, his neck and his back.

"What's wrong?" Alison asked, still sitting on the floor.

"Just slept weird." Sirius said. His voice sounded tired and still a little hoarse.

"You don't sound good." Jack said.

Sirius shrugged: oh not a good idea. He thought. Even moving his shoulders hurt. He wanted nothing more than to lie back down and go to sleep for about a month.

"So," James said. "Why were you so tired?"

Sirius looked out of the window, it was completely dark outside. "I just didn't really sleep last night."

Everyone else seemed to believe the answer and started to talk to each other, but James looked at Sirius skeptically.

Sirius looked up and caught James's eyes and immediately looked out the window. What did James know?

An hour later the train pulled up to Hogsmeade station and the eight friends got off the train.

Every step Sirius took seemed to drain him of more and more energy. He didn't know how he was going to make it through the feast that night.

It took all of Sirius's will power to keep from collapsing from pain and exhaustion when he climbed into the carriage. And when Sirius climbed out he did fall, but caught himself on one of his knees and got back up.

"You okay Sirius?" Alison asked.

Sirius nodded, "I'm fine." He said and they walked into the great hall.

That night, after the feast, Sirius lye on his bed lost in thought, he was in so much pain that it was hard to fall asleep. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw James come up and sit on the edge of his bed.

Oh no, he thought, here it comes. He's going to ask questions that I can't answer.

"Sirius." James said softly, not wanting to wake Jack and Remus.

Sirius looked at James.

"I want to know what's going on, and I don't want any of your lies about just being tired."

Wow, straight to it then. Sirius thought.

He sighed, "James I don't know what you-"

"Yes you do." James cut Sirius off sharply. "I'm worried about you mate. I don't like to think that your being hurt or anything."

"Hurt?" Sirius asked. "What makes you say that?"

"I don't know." James said with a sigh. "Just…the way you're moving, you don't think I can see that it hurts? I'm not stupid Sirius."

"James, I never said,"

"Let me finish." James cut him off again. "I know you mate. I know when you are hiding something, I've been in too many detentions with you to not notice when you are lying."

Sirius looked away.

"I'm not saying…or trying to force you to tell me." James sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you, I want you to trust me. I…I love you Sirius."

Sirius looked back at James; that wasn't what he expected him to say.

"You're like my brother, I've never had a better friend and I just don't like to think of you hurting that's all."

"James." Sirius said. He knew what he wanted to say, but he also knew he couldn't. He couldn't let James know how weak he was. "I love you too. You are more of a brother to me than my real brother will ever be, and I do trust you. I trust you with my life." He paused. He wanted so much to tell him, he wanted someone to share the pain with, someone who might even help it to go away, but he couldn't. "And really James, I am fine. Sure, maybe I am a little sore, but its not for the reason you are thinking trust me."

James looked at Sirius for a moment, and then smiled slightly. "Alright. I trust you. Now I'm going to bed." He rose and climbed into his own bed, but before rolling over he looked at Sirius. "Just remember mate, I'm always here for you. I love you and so do my parents, my house is always open." Then he rolled over and in a few minutes was asleep.

Sirius continued to lye awake on his back, guilt the emotion that now consumed him. He knew James didn't believe him, but he had still chosen to trust Sirius. He had chosen to trust him when he, Sirius, couldn't even tell James his secret. He felt tears roll down the sides of his face, he really did love James and it ate him up inside how he could just lie to him like that. Especially when he practically guessed what was happening to Sirius. How could he have ever gotten such a wonderful friend? He didn't deserve it. He deserved not to be trusted, to be shunned. But even from the start James had never shunned Sirius. Not even when he found out that Sirius was a Black. He always said he could tell that Sirius was different; he had always said that Sirius was strong and brave and that he was not like the rest of his family. But Sirius wasn't so sure.

**Wow, that's still long.** Even though I cut it in half its still long. Maybe I should have cut it into three chapters. Sorry if there are a lot of mistakes, I'll read it again later and fix it if then. Its really late now and one should never write about being very tired when its late, because then you will get really tired. Please review and tell me what you think.


	6. Not so warm greetings

**So, did you guys miss me?** I know I haven't updated for ever, but I had internet problems, as in I didn't have it because my wireless thing broke. But I'm back now and lucky you, while I was gone I wrote like five new chapters! Here's the first one I might put up the others tonight or tomorrow. Enjoy this one!

The rest of the year went splendidly; Sirius's ribs healed for the most part after about a month and a half, though they were a little sore for a while after that, but nowhere near as bad as they were. He got about one hundred detentions; most of them with James, some with Jack, and even less with Remus.

His classes went easy, they always did, and he did great on his exams. But, by the end of the year, when everyone was getting ready to go home Sirius felt the familiar sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. It was like a mix of dread, anger, and depression. He hated going home.

And as usual his friends noticed his mood change and tried to perk him up, and as usual he would try his best to pretend like it was working, but it never really did.

On the train ride home Sirius tried to enjoy his last moments of freedom with his friends as much as he could, but home was always on the back of his mind.

When the train pulled up to the station Sirius felt as if he were going to throw up. He followed James, Remus and Jack off the train and over to James's parents to say hello and goodbye.

"You come to our house any time dear." Mrs. Potter said to Sirius as she gave him a motherly hug.

Sirius didn't want her to ever let go.

"SIRIUS!" Sirius's mother's loud shriek made him and his friends jump. They all wheeled around to see the Blacks standing together, Regulus standing beside his father looking smug.

James, Jack and Remus gave tentative looks to Sirius who heaved a great sigh

"See you guys later." He said, he gave them a strong smile and walked toward his parents.

"What were you doing?" asked Mr. Black menacingly.

"I was saying goodbye to my friends." Sirius answered coldly.

"Your friends?" Mrs. Black said.

"Yes, my friends. They invited me to come to their house sometime this summer."

This was the wrong thing to say at the moment. Mr. and Mrs. Black looked over at Sirius's friends all of whom were trying to seem like they weren't watching. (Their parents included)

Regulus tugged on his fathers robes and whispered something into his ear. Then Mr. Black stood up quickly, his reddening face full of fury and blazing at Sirius.

"SIRIUS!" Mr. Black bellowed loudly making Sirius jump and step back his eyes wide.

The James, Jack, Remus looked at each other tentatively. Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked at each other sadly, and worryingly.

"BLOOD TRAITOR, FILTHY, UNGRAITEUL, DISRESPECTFUL. EVERYTHING WE'VE TOUGHT YOU!" Mrs. Black screamed.

Sirius's face grew angry as well and he drew himself up.

"I DON'T CARE! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO ANY MORE. I'M NOT GOING TO BE LIKE YOU, I WOULD NEVER BE LIKE YOU!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TAKE THAT-" Mr. Black began, but Sirius cut him off.

"I'LL DO WHAT EVER I WANT! I'LL SAY WHATEVER I WAN'T! I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK!"

"YOU'D BETTER START CARING BOY!" Mr. Black yelled. "YOU'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DISRESPECT YOUR FAMILY PRIDE, YOUR HERITAGE!"

"FAMILY PRIDE!" Sirius said mockingly. "THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL IT? ACTING LIKE YOUR BETTER JUST BECAUSE YOUR BLOOD IS PURE? YOUR NOT!"

Sirius said these last words with particular venom.

Mr. and Mrs. Black's faces went white with anger. Sirius thought for a moment he had gone too far, but then he decided he didn't care. They weren't better and it was high time someone told them.

Mr. Black stepped very close to Sirius, his face inches away. "This isn't over boy." He whispered dangerously. "Just you wait until we get home. This isn't over."

He reached forward and grabbed Sirius's wrist in a painful vice like grip. Sirius grimaced and clenched his fist. He glanced over at James, Jack and Remus, hoping they weren't watching, but of course they were. Almost everyone in the station was watching.

"We're going home where you'll learn some pride." Mr. Black said coarsely.

He pulled Sirius away.

Sirius allowed himself to be led turning quickly and grabbing his trunk, dragging it behind him, dreading arriving at home.

James, Jack and Remus stood watching Sirius's father pull Sirius away. They could see the pained look on Sirius's face then suddenly they were gone. Mr. and Mrs. Black took Sirius and Regulus by side by side apparation. None of them knew what to say.

Then finally Remus broke the silence. "You don't think they'll hurt him do you?" he asked afraid of the answer.

At first no body wanted to answer, not wanting to voice it.

"I certainly hope not." said Sharon Potter finally.

"Perhaps we should invite him over sooner rather than later though." said Daniel Potter.

James and the others nodded. "I'll send him an owl tonight." James said.

"Remus!" Remus's parents were walking toward him happily.

"Tell me when Sirius responds to your owl." Remus said. "And tell me when he's going to your house." He walked over to his parents feeling very grateful for them and gave them both hugs.

James gave a bit of a chuckle, it certainly was a contrast in greetings he thought comparing Sirius's and Remus's parents.

A few seconds later Jack 's family came with warm greeting for their sons, and James felt sad for Sirius.

"It must be hard to have parents like that." He said to his mother and father as they walked out of the train station.

"I can't even imagine what it would be like." Mrs. Potter said sadly.

"He says that his parents hate him." James said.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked at each other.

"I'm sure they don't hate him." Mrs. Potter said.

"That's what I told him, but I don't think he believed me."

James and his family piled into their car and Mr. Potter drove off.

"How soon do you think we can have Sirius over?" James asked after a few minutes o silence.

"As soon as he likes. He can come over tomorrow if his parents said he could, you know we love having him."

"I'll write him as soon as we get home and ask him!" James exclaimed happily. As far as James was concerned the sooner Sirius was out of his house the better.

James did as he said he would and wrote a letter to Sirius and sent it off as soon as he got home, even before unpacking.

The whole day seemed to pass slowly as James waited anxiously for Sirius's reply. It didn't come until late that night when James and his parents were sitting in the living room. James and his father were playing wizard chess and talking with his mother about James's year.

"Sounds like you and Sirius were busy." Mrs. Potter laughed after James told her about one of their pranks.

There was a tapping noise at the window and James jumped to his feet and ran to the window, where his owl Blink was holding a letter.

James yanked the window open and practically pulled the owl in. "It's from Sirius!" he exclaimed happily as he untied the letter. He ran to the couch and ripped the letter open and red it quickly.

_James,_

_You know I would love to come to your house tomorrow, I would have loved to come today even. I asked my parents, but as it turns out I can't come yet. Go figure eh, who didn't see that coming. They said I have to stay home; I'm being punished for "my disobedience and shame I have brought to the family." That's what my Mother says anyway. I don't know when I'll be able to come, but you can bet it won't be for about a month, maybe two. Tell your Mum and Dad thanks for the invite, it really means a lot. I have to go now, Mother is yelling at me to get downstairs._

_Sirius Black_

"Well?" Mrs. Potter asked, seeing the dejected look on James's face.

"Can't he come?" Mr. Potter asked.

"No." James said disappointedly. "He said he's being punished for his disobedience and shame be brought to his family. He said that's what his Mother told him."

Mrs. Potter sighed heavily. "It's sad that a mother talks to her son like that."

James nodded, "He acts like it doesn't bother him, but I know it does."

"Of course it does." Mr. Potter said. "I'd be more worried if it didn't."

James nodded. "Check mate." He said, moving his queen to corner his Dad's king.

Mr. Potter laughed, "You're getting better. Soon I won't be able to beat you."

James smiled, "You should play with Remus, he's the best player there is." He laughed, "Sirius is the worst. I think it's just that he doesn't have the patience for it."

"Probably not." Mrs. Potter chuckled. "It's getting late." She said looking at the clock.

"Twelve already." Mr. Potter exclaimed. "I've got to get to bed; I have work in the morning."

James said hugged to his parents, but stayed sitting on the couch. The lights were all turned off, the only light was the fire in the fireplace. James sat looking at the fire thinking about his friend.

He felt sad when he thought about Sirius's life during the summer, sounded like he'd be spending it the same way he did his Christmas holiday: punished. It seemed that whenever Sirius was home he was being punished. James once told Sirius that he'd think Sirius's patents would run out of things to punish him for, but Sirius said that breathing their pureblood air was enough for them.

He thought about the argument he had seen between Sirius and his parents that day at the train station, at least Sirius sticks up for himself. He thought. It mustn't be easy though, always having to stick up for yourself, for your beliefs to your own parents. According to Sirius his parents yelled a lot, James had heard it before. He, Jack and Remus spent a week at Sirius's house once. Sirius didn't want them too, but they were each taking turns spending a week at each other's house. They went to Remus's, James's, Sirius's then Jack's.

It was really fun to see the different ways each of the families did things, they were each very different. Remus's mother was a muggle, and his father was a wizard, James's parents were both wizards, or a wizard and a witch anyway, his dad was an Auror and his mum was a Healer. Sirius's father worked at the ministry too, he was on the council. His mother didn't work, but she would be gone most afternoons at luncheons with her friends. And Jack's parents were both muggle professors.

Jack and Sirius's houses were the most different. Jack's because his house was non-magical, so it was fun to see the way they did things, and the strange devices they had. Like the T.V. and V.C.R, James and Sirius enjoyed them very much. Remus had seen them before.

Sirius's house was different because it was so dark. It was full of dark magic, even the walls and floor was dark. James thought it was actually a little frightening, he couldn't imagine being a kind in that house. It was also different because of the way Sirius's parents acted; it was like they didn't want any of them there, not even Sirius.

James sighed and closed his eyes, sliding down on the couch. He was so grateful that his parents were so wonderful; he wouldn't change them for anything in the world.

**Alright, that's it for now.** I think it's the next chapter that Sirius runs away, either that or it's the one after it, but it's coming up.


	7. Getting Out!

**Okay, I really didn't want to wait to put this next chapter up.** I hope you enjoy it. As usual, sorry about any little mistakes, but it is early or late depending on how you look at it. Read now!

When Sirius had gotten home his father and mother had screamed at him for hours and hit him a few times. It had been a month now and the bruises had faded, but were replaced with new ones.

For the most part Sirius stayed up in his room to stay out of his parent's way, but at times such as meals he couldn't avoid it. And usually those times ended in Sirius being beaten then sent up to his room. That afternoon he lay on his bed; his eyes closed wishing he were back at Hogwarts, or anywhere else for that matter. .

"SIRIUS!" Mrs. Black's screech sounded up the stairs. Sirius sighed and rolled off his bed and made his way downstairs.

"You called Mother?" Sirius said coldly, standing in the doorway of the parlor.

"Get in here." Mrs. Black snapped.

Sirius stepped boldly inside and walked up to his mother, who was sitting in a large armchair staring at the large fire in the marble fireplace.

"Yes?" he said.

Mrs. Black continued to stare at the fire. "Your brother Regulus tells me the two of you had an argument."

Sirius sighed, "Yes."

"He tells me that you called our family an embarrassment." With the last word she turned her head and stared at Sirius with her large, dark eyes.

Sirius hesitated for a moment, then stood tall and said; "Yes I did."

In one swift movement Walburga Black was on her feet, her face inches away from Sirius's. "You are the embarrassment." She hissed. She slapped Sirius hard across the face.

Sirius's head snapped to the right and he felt his cheek burning. With a calming breath he looked back at his mother.

"Have you nothing to say boy?" she asked, walking to the mantle.

Sirius stayed silent.

Walburga glared at him for a moment as if trying to decide what to do to him. "Go to your room." She snapped. "Get out of my sight until your father returns. He will be told of your actions, and you will then be punished."

"Yes Mother." Sirius said with a slight bow. He turned around sharply and stormed up the stairs, he was going to get back at Regulus somehow.

Sirius slammed his bedroom door shut and locked it. He walked gingerly over to his dresser and looked in his mirror his cheek was red where his mother had slapped him. He was so sick of always having another argument over Sirius's "improper actions and beliefs." His father would be home in a few minutes, and Sirius was not looking forward to it.

Hot tears of anger started to form in his eyes and he wiped them away impatiently; he was too old to cry.

"SIRIUS!" he heard his father bellow from down stairs.

He sighed and walked to his door, unlocked it and began his decent down the stairs.

He found his father Orion in the parlor standing with his arms folded angrily over his chest. His mother, Walburga, was sitting in an overstuffed arm chair behind him.

"Your mother told me of your conversation." He said.

"That's putting it lightly." Sirius said under his breath.

"You keep your mouth shut!" Orion yelled. "Sit down." He said darkly.

Sirius walked to an arm chair and sat down on the edge of the chair.

His father lectured and bellowed for what seemed like hours to Sirius, though he had barely heard a word of it. He had mostly learned how to tune the yelling out.

"And that friend of yours. That Potter boy." He had finally gotten Sirius's attention.

"I'll not have you associating with blood traitors!"

Sirius jumped to his feet, his blood rising to his face. "Don't talk about James like that!"

"Oh." His father said mockingly. "Touched a nerve did I? You'll not associate with that boy any longer. Or any of your other _friends_."

"I will and you'll not stop me!" Sirius yelled.

In one swift movement Sirius's father was across the room. His hand closed tightly on Sirius's shoulder making him wince.

"You will do as I tell you Sirius." Orion said; his face inches away from Sirius's.

"I won't." Sirius said sternly.

His father let out a roar of anger and threw Sirius to the ground. His head bounced painfully on the floor as he landed.

"Insolent boy!" he yelled.

Walburga stood up and walked over to where Sirius was sprawled on the floor.

Sirius propped himself up on his elbows and stared at his parents standing menacingly above him.

"Get up." His mother said spitefully.

Sirius got up, his shoulder throbbing.

His mother grabbed a handful of his hair and pulled him close. "How dare you disgrace our family so." She snarled. She threw him into a bookshelf breaking it, many heavy books falling on top of him. His mother walked swiftly over to him and pulled the dazed Sirius off the floor and threw him into a cabinet a heavy vase swayed dangerously before crashing down on Sirius's head. Sirius blinked and tried to get up, but he was so stunned from the blow he shouldn't even stand.

"Oh my poor boy." Said Walburga in a mocking tone.

He felt strong hands under his arms pulling him up, his head was spinning. And he blacked out.

When Sirius woke up he found himself in his room on his bed. He got up slowly, his head was pounding ferociously. He walked slowly to his window and opened the curtains, it was dark outside. He walked to his nightstand and checked his clock, it was twelve thirty. He had been unconscious for about five hours.

His stomach grumbled, he had completely missed dinner. Did he dare to go down to the kitchen to get some food? What of one or both of his parents were awake? His head was far too sore for another beating.

Even if they weren't awake Kreatcher's bed is in the kitchen and he would surely wake them if Sirius tried to sneak some food. He had done it many times before.

Sirius decided that it wasn't worth the risk. He had some chocolate in his trunk, he would eat that then go to sleep. He had learned over the years that hunger rarely followed you in your sleep.

A few weeks later Sirius was sitting in his room trying to do some homework. It wasn't going too well though, he was getting very bored with it. Sirius got up and walked into his bathroom and looked into the mirror. He had one huge bruise that went from his left temple all the way to the bottom of his cheek bone. That was yesterday's dinner fight. He also had a cut on his right cheek, today's lunch. He was wondering what tonight's dinner would bring when he heard a tapping at his window.

Sirius went to his window and saw Remus's owl hovering, waiting to be let in. Sirius opened the window and took the letter off the owl's leg and gave it a bit of chocolate before it flew off again. He opened the letter happily and red it.

_Dear Padfoot,_

_I hope your holiday is going well enough. Mine is good so far, I'm actually finding it nice to be able to just sit at home and relax without having to worry about exams. Can you believe a month of break has gone by already I mean it's the middle of July now! How are things going with your parents? Getting along alright, still alive? Don't let them get to you too much, the school year will be around again before you know it. Besides you're going to James's house soon right? I'm planning on meeting you there. James said his dad might be able to get some tickets to go to a Quidditch match! Well, I guess I'll be seeing you in a few weeks. _

_ Your friend, Moony_

Sirius smiled as he folded the letter and placed it in his desk drawer. It was good to know that there were sane people in the world, people who cared about him. Remus Lupin (Moony) was a werewolf and one of the nicest people Sirius knew. He looked at a calendar he has stuck on his wall, the full moon was in two days. He felt his heart sinking for Remus. Turning into a werewolf was a very painful process and he, James and Jack wouldn't be there for him like they were at school.

_Knock, knock, knock_

Sirius got up and opened his bedroom door; Kreatcher was standing in the door way.

"Master Sirius is to come to dinner." He said with a low bow.

Sirius followed the elf down stairs and into the dining room where his mother, father and brother were already seated.

Sirius sat at the long ebony table, not saying anything as he ate his dinner. He didn't want this meal to end in another painful argument.

"So." Mr. Black said to Sirius. _Here it goes "_You got a letter today."

"Yes." said Sirius.

"From whom?" Mr. Black asked in a seemingly calm tone that fooled nobody.

"From one of my friends."

"Which one?"

"Remus."

"Remus?"

"Yah, Remus Lupin."

"The half blood?"

Sirius felt anger rush through him. He didn't answer.

"Sirius, we've told you about associating with people like him."

_Just keep eating_

"Not worth your time, not good enough for a Black."

_Two weeks, just two weeks and I'll be out of here._

"And the blood traitor as well, you really need to watch your self around those people."

_Think about the letter, Dear Padfoot…_

"Don't know where we've gone wrong. Regulus here is in Slytherin, all pure blood friends."

_Perfect Regulus. James's Dad might be able to get us tickets…_

"You really are a disgrace."

Sirius looked up at his father.

"A disgrace to all that we hold dear. A disgrace to the name of Black, a disgrace to the name if wizard. Ashamed to call you my son."

Sirius jumped up, his blood boiling. "You're the disgrace!" he yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you you're no different from them!"

Sirius's father was up from his chair quicker than Sirius had ever seen him move. In seconds Sirius felt his back slam against the wall as his father gripped his throat.

"Us a disgrace!" he threw Sirius to the ground. Sirius's head bounced on the floor boards.

"I'll show you what happens when you call ME a disgrace!" He kicked Sirius in the ribs. Sirius felt them crack as he kicked them again.

Sirius crawled away and sat up. "You think this shows your power? Beating on your own son!"

Mrs. Black was up this time as well. "Don't speak to your father like that ungrateful child!"

"Right, I should be grateful for being kicked? Are you stupid!"

Mrs. Black pointed her wand at him; "Crucio!" she cried. "Kreatcher! Get Sirius a drink."

In seconds Kreatcher was at Mrs. Black's side with a silver goblet full of steaming liquid.

"Open wide Sirius." Mrs. Black said quietly as Mr. Black picked Sirius up, slammed him against the wall and pinned him.

Sirius clenched his jaw as tightly as he could, but then Mr. Black grabbed his jaw and began to squeeze.

"Open your mouth boy." He grabbed Sirius's chin and wrenched his mouth open.

Sirius could feel the liquid even before it hit his mouth, but once it did Sirius squirmed even more. It burned! He could feel it searing his throat as it went down. He tried to spit it back out, but it must have had a spell on it to stop him from doing so.

When the cup was empty Mr. and Mrs. Black stepped back, letting Sirius fall to the floor.

Pain engulfed Sirius as he withered on the floor trying not to let a scream escape his lips.

Mrs. Black with drew her wand and walked over to Sirius.

"Pure yet?" she taunted.

Sirius gasped and sat up again, with extreme difficulty. "You'll never be as good as half the muggle borns in the world!"

"Aprega!" Mrs. Black yelled.

It felt like a hundred knives slashed Sirius all over his body. Blood was soaking his shirt and jeans.

"See that blood boy! That is Black blood, pure blood, better blood" Screamed Mrs. Black.

Sirius swept her legs from under her and she fell to the floor. Then his kicked his father's knees and he fell too.

He got up, staggered and started to run as fast as he could, which wasn't fast at all, out into the hall.

"Crucio!"

Sirius fell; hitting his head on the steps and cutting his head and more pain overcame him.

Sirius's father and mother both held their wands at Sirius then dropped them.

"YOU FILTH!" Mrs. Black screamed. She sliced her wand in the air and more cuts started to appear on Sirius's face and body.

"Indempra!" Mr. Black yelled. Sirius felt a huge blow on his shoulder and with a loud crack it was broken.

Sirius gathered his strength and stood, he wasn't going to let them win, he couldn't!

He took a step forward, raising his wand, but his mother was too quick.

"Hemdempta!" she screamed.

Sirius collapsed, his right knee bursting with pain.

Both his parents seeing Sirius lying on the ground, bleeding and painting in pain stood watching him with pleased looks on their faces.

"EXPELIARMUS!" Sirius yelled with all his might, pointing his wand at his parents. They were both caught off guard and flew into the dinning room, their wands flying out of their hands. With a waive of his wand Sirius closed the doors and moved a large book case in front of them.

He pulled himself up on the railing "Accio trunk!" he said. His adrenaline was pumping; he had his trunk packed for days now, just waiting until he would need to leave. His trunk came clambering down the steps with loud bangs then was at his side. He grabbed the handle and staggered to the front door trying to keep the pressure off his leg.

A loud bang behind him told him that he had to hurry, his parents would be out soon, and then he would never get away.

He threw the front doors open and stumbled out into the darkness, slamming the doors behind him.

He ran as well as he could down the front steps and out the gate, not bothering to close it behind him, he didn't have time. He could hear his mother screaming, he just had time to duck behind their neighbor's large bush when the front door opened and his parents stepped out.

"Where is he?" Walburga asked. "He can't have gone far."

She and Mr. Black slowly stepped down the stairs, their eyes darting back and for the, looking for any movement in the dark.

"Sirius." Mrs. Black called in a sing song voice.

The sound of it sent chills up Sirius's spine. He sat as still as possible, blood dripping onto the cement. He didn't know how long he could sit, he was losing a lot of blood and it was making him very faint.

"He's gone." Orion spat. "Good riddance." He walked back inside.

"Filthy disgrace, I'll blast him off the tapestry." Walburga said following Orion into the house.

Sirius let out a large sigh of relief, pushed himself up and started to run, pulling his trunk behind him.

**Wow! That was fun eh?** Ready for the next one? Review and maybe it will be up soon.


	8. Going To My Real Home

**Thanks a million for your reviews!** Just to answer some of them and the next story I do after this one has more of Kreatcher and Sirius's parents in it. I've started it a bit, so once I finish this one I'll post it. This one has a lot more chapters, but it should be done soon with how fast I'm posting. Hope you enjoy this one!

Sirius collapsed; he had been walking for a long time, he wasn't sure how long exactly, but he knew it was hours. He was heading toward James Potter's house and they weren't exactly neighbors. He would have used the Knight Bus, but he knew that one look at him and they would take him to St. Mungo's and then would notify his parents and he was never going back there.

Sirius rolled over onto his back, he didn't know if he could go on honestly. He could feel the potion doing something inside of him; every inch of his was screaming in pain, his head was spinning and the world around him continually threatened to go black. He had to keep going though, he had to! He couldn't' let them win!

With great effort Sirius pealed himself off the cement and stood staggering for a moment, the he grabbed his trunk again, which he had bewitched to be feather light, and started on his way again.

He had only gone a few miles when he fell again. He closed his eyes; maybe he would just rest for a moment. He was so tired and cold; sleeping would make it all go away. All his pain, this horrible night, they would all fade away as he slept. It would only be for a moment, only long enough to get his strength back. He could feel his pain ebbing away as everything around him went light.

_NO!_

Sirius shook himself awake. He could not fall asleep! He had to get to James's house.

Once again he pulled himself up and began staggering down the street.

_Ding! Ding! Ding!_

The church bell nearby rang its twelfth chime. Sirius had been walking for many hours now; he didn't want to think about exactly how many. He just thought about one thing. James's house. His only drive was to get to James's house.

His head was spinning, making him feel very dizzy. He leaned against the wall of a bridge and doubled over, trying to stay up. Suddenly the dizziness became overwhelming and Sirius threw up.

He didn't have time to stop though, he still had such a long way to go, so he whipped his mouth with his sleeve and continued walking, not taking notice of the blood that was mixed with his vomit.

He had only taken about ten steps when he fell flat on his face. He groaned as he felt blood start to gush out of his nose and rolled onto his side. This night could not get worse. That's when he noticed the car that had just passed start to slow down. He sat up, whipped the blood from his nose and looked closer at the car. It was the car of a muggle police man! Sirius felt panic rise as it started to turn around. He had to hide! He couldn't be found!

He quickly crawled under the bridge and laid right up against the wall. He was hoping the fact that he was wearing black and that it was completely black under the bridge would help to hide him. But to his dismay a light turned on from inside the officer's car, and the muggle inside started to shine it around the bridge.

Sirius knew that when the muggle didn't see anything on the sidewalk he would shine the light under the bridge. Sirius did the only thing he could, his last option; he transformed into his animagi form of a large black dog.

The transformation took more energy than Sirius had expected, and it was costing him a lot to keep the form. When the muggle shone the light under the bridge it took him a second to find the large dog, the light paused on Sirius for a moment, then it turned off and the muggle drove away.

Sirius transformed back into his human form with a cry of agony. He lay flat on his back panting and crying. Or trying to cry at least, he was almost too tired to even cry.

Why didn't he just give up? Why did he have to have so much freaking pride! "Just die!" He cried quietly. "It would be so much easier!"

He closed his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths. Easier maybe, but not better.

He rolled onto his stomach and pushed himself onto his knees. After vomiting the mixture of blood and vomit again he stood up and started to walk again.

He was getting closer, he was in the right city now. Only a little bit more to go. He urged himself on.

Then he collapsed again. He couldn't go on. He should just accept fate and die right here. There was no point, the pain wasn't worth it. What did he have to live for any way? He had deserted his family. No one cared.

Then Remus's letter came floating into his mind. Then James's from earlier. He could see them in his mind smiling at him with Jack. They were in the Gryffindor common room laughing.

Then James's words came to his mind. _I'm always here for you. I love you. Brother._

Sirius smiled, he still had people who cared, he still had family.

He stood up, grabbed his trunk and lurched onward keeping his friends in his mind.

Sirius stopped. Finally he was at his destination. Finally he was standing in front of the Potter manor. He staggered forward to the porch. He left his trunk, he knew he wouldn't be able to pull it up even the one step.

He slowly walked up the three steps to the porch, stepped forward and leaned on the door frame. He gathered his strength lifted his hand to push the doorbell.

No answer.

He pushed it again and this time didn't take his finger off for a few seconds.

Then he heard footsteps behind the door, the knob was turning, the door was opening, then James stood in the door in his pajamas. Dear sweat James, he never looked so good.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed loudly seeing his battered and bloodied friend.

Sirius tried to say something, but all that came out was a grunt. He fell forward and James caught him before he hit the ground. Sirius closed his eyes, he was safe now. He was home.

**It's a bit short,** but I'll put the next chapter up real soon if not today. I have to see if I want to make any adjustments first. Keep reviewing, it makes me update faster and more!


	9. Potter's Panic

**So very sorry this took so long!** I really thought I had put this chapter up already. I was reviewing the next chapter. Well, I hope you enjoy this.

"MUM! DAD!" James yelled into the house. The scurrying footsteps of Mr. and Mrs. Potter came into the foyer. Mr. Potter was in his pajamas and Mrs. Potter was in a nightgown.

Upon seeing the bleeding Sirius lying in James's arms Mrs. Potter stifled a scream.

"Quick James, bring him inside." Mr. Potter said. He helped James carry Sirius into the living room where they set him on the sofa.

"Oh my Daniel, what do you think could have happened to him?" asked Mrs. Potter. She was as white as a ghost.

They quickly removed Sirius's robes and saw that his shirt was slashed and covered in blood.

"I don't know." Mr. Potter said. "You don't suppose his parents…"

Mrs. Potter gasped "No!"

Sirius groaned. Mrs. Potter leaned forward, "Its okay honey." She said, tears running down her cheeks. "Your safe love."

"We need to get him fixed up." She said standing up. "Daniel, will you come help me, James I need you to keep him awake."

"Mum, I…I" James stammered.

Mrs. Potter grabbed both of James shoulders gently and looked into his eyes. "James, look at me." She said gentile, but stern. "I know your scared, so am I, but right now Sirius needs us to be strong okay?"

James sighed deeply and nodded his head.

Mrs. Potter kissed his head, "I love you." she said. Then she turned and she and Mr. Potter ran upstairs.

James sat down on the edge of the couch and took Sirius's bloody hand in his. Sirius's eyes were barely open.

"James." He croaked.

"Shh, it's okay. I'm here." He said softly. "I need you to stay awake though." He said as Sirius started to close his eyes.

"Come on Sirius, open your eyes."

Sirius's eyes slowly opened and he looked at James.

"So tired." He said.

The sound of his weak voice made James want to cry. "I know you are Sirius, I know you are. Stay awake though, talk to me. What happened?"

"I ran away." He said triumphantly, trying to smile.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter burst into the living room, their arms full of bandages and potions.

James tried to step back, but Sirius wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Stay, please."

James looked at his mother who nodded.

"Sirius, I need you to tell me what happened." She said. "James, can you help him sit up and take his shirt off?"

James put his arms around Sirius and pulled him slowly up.

Sirius grunted urgently and bent forward. Vomit spilled onto the floor, more tears streamed down Sirius's cheeks. Mrs. Potter noticed the blood in the vomit and looked at her husband.

With a wave of his wand Mr. Potter cleaned up the vomit. "What does it mean Sharon?" he asked as James pulled Sirius's shirt off.

"It could mean a few things." Mrs. Potter said. "One thing that could be causing it is if drank a nasty potion."

"Ahh!" Sirius screamed as James tried to pull his shirt over his shoulder.

Mrs. Potter quickly looked at his shoulder, and after noticing that it was practically shattered she cut his shirt off with her wand.

All three of the Potters gasped when they Sirius's body covered in blood and bruises.

"What happened Sirius?" Mr. Potter asked wetting a rag and starting to wipe off the dried blood on Sirius's body.

Sirius winced as Mr. Potter cleaned him. "I ran away." He said weakly.

"Sirius," Mrs. Potter said urgently. "This is very important; did you drink anything, a potion tonight?"

Sirius looked at Mrs. Potter for a moment, trying to process what she was saying. He was so tired.

"Sirius, did you drink a potion?" Mrs. Potter asked again.

"Yah." Sirius said.

"Do you know what it was?"

"No." Sirius closed his eyes.

"Stay awake sweetie." Mrs. Potter said. "We need to get the potion out of you before you get worse. What can you tell me about it? What color was it, was it doing anything?"

Sirius thought or a moment, his brain was feeling very sluggish. "It was steaming, and it burned."

"It burned?" Mrs. Potter asked. "Open your mouth and let me see."

Sirius opened his mouth and Sharon shined her wand it in. His tong and throat were black. "And you said the potion was steaming?" she asked as Sirius closed his mouth after she took her wand back out.

Sirius nodded slightly. His eyes were closed and it looked like he was going to be sick again.

Mrs. Potter sat Sirius up more and put a large pot in front of him.

"I'm so sorry honey, but this is going to be very unpleasant. If the potion is what I think it is then it's very bad. It's some very dark magic. We have to get it out of you before it does any more damage." She pointed her wand at his back, "Regurto."

Sirius felt a horrible lurch in his stomach and he started to vomit. He vomited for what seemed like ages, but was really only about a minute or two. His vomit was black and red because of the blood mixed with it.

Mrs. Potter kept doing the spell until there was no more blood and the vomit had turned clear.

When Sirius was finally allowed to stop Mrs. Potter took the pot, cleared it with a wave of her wand and gave Sirius a glass of water.

He choked slightly as he tried to swallow, but it did make his throat feel better.

Mrs. Potter continued to examine him and fix him up the best she could. She couldn't fix everything, because some of the spells used on him were very dark magic that didn't have remedies, so they would have to heal on their own.

"Who gave you that potion Sirius?" Mrs. Potter asked. "Who did this to you?"

Sirius was silent.

"Sirius please, we need to know." Mr. Potter urged, bandaging Sirius's arm.

"Was it your parents?" James asked hesitantly.

Sirius nodded. His eyes were swelling up with tears, but he was far too tired to stop himself from crying.

James sat beside Sirius and put his arm around him. "How did you get here mate?" he asked.

"Walked." Sirius responded tiredly.

"Walked!" the three Potters exclaimed making Sirius jump painfully.

"Sirius sweetheart." Mrs. Potter said sitting on the other side of Sirius. "Why didn't you call us or something?"

"I-I couldn't." Sirius cried. "I had to run out of my house, I didn't have time. I left my mirror there too, the two way one."

"How long have you been walking?" Mr. Potter asked. He was sitting on the coffee table in front of Sirius.

"Don't know." Sirius had stopped crying now and closed his eyes leaning his head on James's shoulder

"When did you leave?" James asked.

"Don't know."

"What were you doing before you left?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Dinner."

"So that would be around six." Mr. Potter said thoughtfully. "It was two when you showed up, that's…eight hours!" Mr. Potter said the last part in a shocked voice. Sirius's jumped again and opened his eyes.

"Sirius, you walked for eight hours in your condition!" Mrs. Potter exclaimed.

"Sorry." Sirius said.

"We're not mad honey," Mrs. Potter said gently. "I'm just…shocked that you did it."

"Hmm." Sirius said sleepily, his eyes closed again.

Mrs. Potter smiled gently at Sirius. "Let's get you upstairs dear." She said. "We'll put you in James's room. Daniel and I will go make up a spare bed."

Slowly James helped Sirius up the stairs while Mr. and Mrs. Potter ran up and prepared Sirius's bed. By the time James got Sirius to his room the bed was ready.

"Here you go Sirius." Mrs. Potter said handing him some pajamas. "Daniel and James can help you put them on."

Mrs. Potter came back in after Sirius had the pajamas on; it was a very painful process to put them on.

"Let's get you in bed then." She said pulling back the covers.

Sirius sat down, then fell to his side and was instantly sound asleep.

Mrs. Potter chuckled and put Sirius's legs on the bed then covered him up and kissed his cheek. "Good night Sirius." She whispered.

She stepped back and put her arms around Daniel, James standing beside her. The three of them stood there for a second looking at Sirius sleep.

"He's going to have quite a few bruises in the morning." Mr. Potter said.

"I can't even imagine a parent doing something like this to their child." Mrs. Potter said. "Look at him, he looks so innocent."

James laughed a bit. "I've never heard Sirius described that way before."

Mr. and Mrs. Potter chuckled too.

"Well I don't know about the two of you, but all this excitement has made me very tired." Mrs. Potter said.

"Well it is three in the morning." James yawned.

"Good night James." Mrs. Potter said giving him a hug and kiss.

"Night." James said sleepily. Now that all the excitement was over and Sirius was sleeping James felt as if he could just drop right there.

When James crawled into his bed across from Sirius's he fell asleep almost instantly.

**So, what do you think?** Please review and this time I really, really won't wait so long to put up the next chapter.


	10. Getting Backup

**Hey guys!** I tried to update yesterday, but then I left my flash drive with the story on it at work sorry. Thank you so much for all of your wonderful reviews! They really do make me update faster. Hope you enjoy this bit!

That morning James woke to the sun shining bright in his eyes. He moaned and rolled onto his stomach, burring his face into his pillow. He was tired, didn't the sun know how late he was up last night. What time was it anyway? He lifted his head and looked at his clock; 10am. He rolled back onto his back and sat up.

He looked across the room at Sirius, who was lying on his side with his back turned to James.

"Sirius." James said.

No answer.

"Sirius." He said again.

Still no answer, he didn't even move.

Good. James thought. He was hoping that Sirius would sleep for a long time; he needed it. James quietly got out of bed and grabbed his clothes for the day and walked into the bathroom adjoining his room where he took a long cool shower.

When he came out Sirius was still in the same position and breathing softly. James smiled and went across the room to his desk. He was going to write Jack and Remus and ask them to come over. Jack wouldn't be able to come until the next week as he was in America with his parents visiting family, but Remus should be able to come over today.

He sat down, pulled some parchment and ink out of his drawer and started to write.

_Dear Remus,_

_Okay, well I don't really know how to say this, but Sirius came over last night and he was um… well he was in pretty bad shape. He had run away from his house and walked to my house! That's not even the worst of it. I don't really know if I should be putting all this in a letter, but I just feel like I need to tell you. Sirius's parents beat him up really bad. He was covered in blood when he showed up at our house. There's a lot more to it than just this, but I'll tell you the rest in person. Can you come over today? Ask your parents and send your answer back with Blinky. _

_ James Potter_

He re-read his letter; it seemed a little jumbled, but it was good enough. He wrote a similar letter to Jack then tied he one to Remus to his owl Blinky then took the one to Jack the family owl Tatter.

After he sent the owls he went down the stairs to the kitchen where he found his mother sitting at the table drinking tea.

"Good morning sweetheart." She said as James sat down.

"Morning."James said.

Mrs. Potter got up and started to prepare James's breakfast. "What do you want honey, pancakes, waffles French toast?"

"Doesn't matter." James said. "Surprise me. Um can Remus come over later today?"

"Of course." Mrs. Potter said. "I think it would be good for Sirius to have all the support he can get. What about Jack though?"

"He's in America with his family until next week, but I sent a letter telling him what happened and I asked him to come over when he gets back."

Mrs. Potter nodded and started making French toast. "Is Sirius still asleep?" she asked.

"Yah." James said propping his elbows on the table and resting his head in his hands.

"Good." Sharon said. "I don't expect him to wake up until around dinner."

"Really?" James asked. "That long?"

"Well those were some pretty bad curses he got thrown at him, and that potion certainly took a toll. His body needs to recover. Not to mention how late he was walking last night and how much blood he lost. Honestly, it's a wonder he survived last night. He was almost gone when he got here."

James sighed and buried his head in his arms.

"Are you alright honey?" Mrs. Potter asked.

James shook his head. "It just…why didn't he tell us?" Anger started to rise up and he lifted his head. "We could have, I could have helped him. We could have prevented this whole thing! If he just told us what was happening, what his parents were really like we could have done something! Why didn't he tell us!" James was yelling now, and tears were starting to form ion his eyes.

"Don't be mad at Sirius James." Mrs. Potter said.

"I know, and I'm not." He said. "I'm just…I don't know what I'm mad at, I'm just mad. Maybe I am a little mad at Sirius for not telling me, but I'm just as mad at myself for not noticing. I should have known something was up, I mean he's my best friend, I know all of his moods, I know he hated going home, but I just thought it was because he didn't get along with his parents, I thought they just yelled at him a lot. I never knew…" James buried his head again and tried not to cry. "Why didn't I just notice?"

Mrs. Potter sat next to James and put her arms around him and pulled him close. "You did what you could James. There was no way for you to know if Sirius didn't want you to. We both know how good he is at hiding his troubles."

James lifted his head and nodded, "Yah I guess so." He wiped the tears from his eyes and took a large breath. "I just hate seeing him like that. When I opened the door and saw him standing there, then he collapsed in my arms I just… I felt like if he died I would too. I don't know how I would go on without him." He was crying again.

"You won't have to." Mrs. Potter said. Tears were in her eyes too. "He'll be alright honey. It will take a while before he is as good as new, but it will happen. Just having your support will be a great help to his recovery."

"Do you think he'll be better by the time school starts back up again?" James asked.

Mrs. Potter sighed and looked at the calendar; it was mid July. "I don't think so. He'll be improved, but he won't be healed. His shoulder will take at least four months, and his ribs will be about two months. His bruises and cuts should be mostly gone, but he will have some still remaining, he will be pretty sore for a while."

She got up and put James's French toast on a plate and brought it to the table. "Want some juice?"

"Sure, thanks." James said, pouring syrup on his toast. "Where's Dad?"

"He had to go into work for a few hours, but he'll be back this afternoon."

Just then Blinky flew thru the open window and landed by James's plate. He had a letter in Remus's handwriting tied to his leg. James tore the letter open and started to read it.

"Is it from Remus?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"Yah." James folded the letter back up. "He said he can come, and that he'll be here around one. He said his Mum is going to London and she'll drop him off on her way."

"We should invite her to stay for lunch." Mrs. Potter said looking at the clock. "Its eleven thirty now, so they should be here in about an hour and a half. Do you want to go start cleaning the living room?"

"Do I want to?" James asked.

"Will you?"

"Yah." James smiled. He set his plate in the sink. "Thanks for the talk Mum." He gave her a hug and went to start cleaning.

At one o'clock on the dot Helen Lupin knocked on the Potter's front door and Mrs. Potter opened the door with a smile.

"Hello Anne." She said stepping aside to let her and Remus in. "Remus, how are you two?"

"We're fine." Mrs. Lupin said.

"James will be down in a minute." Mrs. Potter told Remus "He's just finishing your bed. Would you like to stay for lunch Helen?"

"I would love to." Helen said with a smile.

"Remus!" James exclaimed jumping down the stairs and grabbing Remus in a large bear hug.

"Hey James." Remus chocked. "How's Sirius?" he asked when James let go.

"He's still sleeping." James said. "You can come see him."

They all looked at Mrs. Potter and she nodded. "We just have to be quiet, we don't want to wake him."

"Are you kidding?" James said bounding up the stairs. "A train wreck couldn't wake him up."

As the four of them silently opened the door to James room Mrs. Lupin gasped at the sight of Sirius.

He was sprawled out on his back with his head turned to the wall. The side of his face they could see had a large slash from his cheekbone to his jaw and a large bruise surrounding it and going around his eye. He had many small cuts around his eye and his lip was split. His arm was out of his covers in a white sling and his hand also had cuts on it and a large bruise on the back of it.

"Oh my." Mrs. Lupin said, tears forming in her eyes.

"So, what exactly happened?" Remus asked breathlessly.

"Let's go downstairs and we'll tell you while we eat." Mrs. Potter said.

The four of them went down stairs and Mrs. Potter set out delicious turkey sandwiches and lemonade.

"When did he get here?" Remus asked.

"About two." James answered. "He said he left around six."

"Eight hours!" Mrs. Lupin exclaimed.

"That's what we said." James said.

"So did he tell you what happened?" Mrs. Lupin asked.

"A little." Mrs. Potter said. "He didn't tell us much, he was pretty out of it. He lost a lot of blood. He said that he had run away and he told us his parents had done this to him."

"Will he be okay?" Remus asked.

"He will eventually." Mrs. Potter said. "His shoulder was shattered, some of his ribs were broken and his leg got hit with a curse, I'm not sure exactly what it was, but it's not looking good."

"He was poisoned too." James said.

"Poisoned!" Mrs. Lupin and Remus exclaimed.

"Yes, his parents gave him some sort of potion, he wasn't sure what it was, but from the way he describes it and the symptoms it was giving it seemed like a pretty dark mixture."

"Wow." Remus said.

"And his parents did all that to him?"Mrs. Lupin asked in disbelief.

Both James and Mrs. Potter nodded. The rest of the lunch was spent talking about Sirius's recovery and what would happen next.

"Should we take your stuff upstairs?" James asked once lunch was finished.

"Sure." Remus said.

"I'd better get going." Mrs. Lupin said. She gave Remus a hug and kiss then they all walked her to the door.

"Alright then!" James exclaimed when Mrs. Lupin was gone. "Let's get your stuff upstairs."

"Be sure not to wake Sirius up." Mrs. Potter called after James and Remus ran up the stairs.

James opened his door slowly, one end of Remus's trunk in his hands.

"Mum says he'll probably sleep 'till dinner." James said.

"Really?" Remus asked looking at Sirius. "Wow. James, look out!"

James hadn't been looking where he was going and with a loud crash the lamp on his desk fell to the floor.

Sirius jerked up, his eyes wide, looking around wildly and his breath coming in painful gasps.

"Oh Sirius." James gasped. "Sorry mate."

"What happened?" Mrs. Potter asked as she ran into the room with Mr. Potter who had just gotten home.

"I- um," James looked from Sirius to his parents and back.

Sirius's head was swimming, everything around his was a haze, he didn't know what was going on. Someone was talking, he heard his name, but he didn't know why. He just wanted to go back to sleep, being awake hurt too much. He slowly lowered his head back to the pillow and was asleep on seconds.

"And then it just broke." James was explaining.

"Shh," Mrs. Potter nodded toward the sleeping Sirius and motioned for the group to go downstairs.

"What about the lamp?" James asked in a quiet whisper.

"I'll get it later." Mrs. Potter whispered back.

"He didn't look too good." Mr. Potter said as he, Mrs. Potter, James and Remus sat in the living room. "His eyes were really red and he was white as a ghost."

"He looked like he was still hurting." James said.

"And confused. Did the potion do anything to his mind?" Remus asked Mrs. Potter.

"No," she said. "He's just still tired." She looked up the stairs, as if looking at Sirius "He will be for a long time."

The whole rest of the afternoon was spent trying to make time pass as fast as possible for James and Remus. They played Quidditch, wizard chess, exploding snap, they even took out the Marauder's map and followed the teachers through Hogwarts, the few that were there anyway. In the end they couldn't stand it any longer and ended up sitting in James's room talking in quiet whispers in the corner farthest from Sirius.

James looked at the clock; 6:00pm. "Why isn't he waking up!" he exclaimed quietly. "Mum said around five, or dinner."

"Patience James." Remus said understandingly. "You can't put a schedule to Sirius's healing."

James made a face at Remus and rolled his eyes. "Dinner will be ready in a few minutes, I don't want Sirius to miss it, he already missed last night's dinner, breakfast and lunch."

"Somehow I really don't think he cares right now." Remus laughed. "He'll be as hungry as a hippo when he wakes up, but until then…" Remus shrugged and went back to looking at his large book about animagi, but almost immediately looked up when Mrs. Potter knocked on the door quietly and poked her head in.

"Dinner is ready boys." She said. She looked at Sirius and smiled the walked back down the stairs.

"Guess we'd better go." James sighed with another look at Sirius.

"Yah, come on. I'm starving." Remus said.

James hesitated at the door for a moment, what if Sirius woke up while they were down stairs? He needed to be there for Sirius when he woke up.

"Come on James," Remus said slightly pulling his arm. "He'll be alright."

**So, excited for the next bit?** Review and it will be up soon, don't and you'll have to wait. Is that mean or what?


	11. Not All There

**I decided I wouldn't make you wait.** Especially since this one is so short.

Sirius knew he was awake by the pain he felt, but he still didn't open his eyes. He was trying to go back to sleep. He was still so very tired, but his hunger wouldn't let him sleep. Slowly, he opened his eyes and rolled onto his back. He was in James's room, but how he got there seemed a little hazy. No one else was in the room. James's bed was made and there was a small cot at the foot of James's bed. Why was that there? Sirius wondered vaguely, but his mind was too foggy to think of anything.

"I'm just going to check if he's awake."

Someone shouted in the hall. Then Sirius heard footsteps coming down the hall and slowly James's door opened and James stood in the doorway. When he saw that Sirius was awake he rushed to the side of his bed.

"Sirius!" he exclaimed. "I'm so happy you're awake! I was getting so worried! How do you feel? Are you hungry, thirsty? Do you still feel really tired? You've slept all day, its six thirty in the evening now!"

Sirius's head started spinning with James's rush of words. He hardly understood what was going on. He wished James would stop talking.

James noticed the confused look on Sirius's face and smiled knowingly. "Are you hungry mate?"

"Yah." Sirius said. His voice could hardly be heard, his throat felt raw.

James chuckled at Sirius. "I'll go tell Mum you're awake and get you some water ."

Sirius nodded slightly; not wanting to talk again, but even that caused him great pain.

In a few minutes Mrs. Potter came into the room with a glass of water. "How are you feeling dear?" she asked handing him the water and kneeling next to the head of his bed.

Sirius drank the water greedily. He could feel it running down his throat; it was wonderful.

"I don't know." Sirius answered once he drank the water. His voice sounded a little better, but it was still pretty scratchy.

"I bet you're hungry." She said with a smile.

"You have no idea."

"James is heating up the soup I made for you. I'm going to check and see how the cuts on your chest and back are doing."

"Thanks, sorry to be so much trouble." Sirius said looking down.

"Sirius, listen to me." Something in Mrs. Potter's voice made Sirius look at her. "You are no trouble at all. We're glad you came here. Daniel and I have always thought of you as our son, James always calls you his brother, you are part of this family. You have nothing to be sorry for. Understand?"

Sirius looked down again and nodded, tears were slowly dripping down his cheeks. What did he do to deserve this kindness? As far as he was concerned he didn't deserve it. He was a coward, he was a liar, he was a Black.

"Hey Sirius." James said walking in with a tray of steaming soup. Remus followed him with more water.

Sirius smiled weakly; he didn't like all this attention focused on him. Sure, maybe he was a show off at times, okay most of the time, but that was a different kind of attention. It was sort of the admiring type, this was the pitying type. Sirius hated pity

After he had eaten Sirius felt more tired than ever, he could hardly keep his eyes open and every inch of his body was aching. He felt a little better now that he had eaten, but now he didn't have anything to distract him from the pain.

James was sitting on a chair next to Sirius, and Remus was sitting on the foot of the bed.

"You feeling alright Sirius?" James asked, noticing Sirius's face.

"I'll be fine." Sirius said.

"So… what happened?" James asked.

Sirius knew he was going to ask, but he didn't know if he was ready to talk about it yet. He didn't really know if he had the strength to talk about it yet. He was so tired.

Sirius closed his eyes and in a few seconds was asleep.

"Well," James said. "Guess he didn't want to talk about it then."

"Well he does seem pretty tired still." Remus said. "I think we can wait." He walked over and sat on his bed and pulled out a potions book. "Have you done your homework yet?"

James was still sitting on his hair looking at Sirius. He shook his head.

"James," Remus said.

James looked up.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He said quickly.

Remus gave him a disbelieving look.

"Okay, I'm not." James said frustratingly. He got up and walked to his bed and flopped face first at the end of it, next to Remus.

"I just don't know what to do." He said, his face buried in his comforter. He propped his head in his hands and looked at Remus. "I mean, when I saw him last night I felt like it was somewhat my fault, I know it's not." He added quickly when Remus opened his mouth to say something. "But I just feel like I should have known something and now I can see that he's hurting, but these nothing I can do to take it away." He buried his face in his arms again.

"I think the fact that you do want to make it go away helps a bit." Remus said. "But you can't fix everything James, Sirius will have to work out some things on his own. We can't make it all disappear."

"I can try." James said.

Remus laughed and James sat up and leaned against the wall.

"I know I can't fix it all." James said looking at Sirius again. "I know I can't protect him from all his pain and I know that there will be a lot more to come, but at least he won't have to go through it alone."

Remus nodded in agreement.

For the next few hours Remus did his potions homework while James pretended to.

Remus noticed James's eyes frequently flicking toward the sleeping Sirius toward the end and with a large sigh he closed his book.

"James," he said. "There's nothing you can do right now. He needs to sleep."

**Alright, now review.**


	12. Not All There Continued

**Hey guys! So sorry,** but I just realized that I forgot that I left out the whole end part of the last chapter! So here it is.

"I know." James said, also closing his book. "We've got to go do something, I'm going crazy just sitting here waiting."

"Remus nodded, "I know, I am too."

"So, what shall we do then?" James asked, jumping off his bed eagerly.

"I don't know." Remus said stretching. "What time is it?"

"Eight." James said.

"Huh." Remus looked out the window. It was still light outside, the sun was just beginning to set. "Want to go outside?"

"Sure!" James exclaimed. He looked at Sirius again. "Should we leave him a note or anything?"

"If you want." Remus said getting his shoes on.

James quickly scribbled a note to Sirius telling him that they were outside and if he felt like it he could join them when he woke up.

James had to admit that when he got outside the fresh air did make him feel a little better. But he was still worrying about Sirius in the back of his mind. Would he come down when he woke up? Would he be able to? What if he was in so much pain that he couldn't! What if he couldn't move, what if he didn't see the note! He wouldn't know where James was, he would be all alone!

James turned to run back inside, but Remus caught him by the shoulders.

"He'll be fine James." He said patiently. "Sirius isn't some little baby who can't do anything for himself. He's sixteen."

James nodded. "Yah."

"Now let's do something." Remus said.

Sirius opened his eyes; the room was empty and dark. He could see the stars out of the window. What time was it? He wondered. He didn't feel like turning his head to find James's clock, so he just figured it was around eleven.

He was still in plenty of pain and he was still very tired. He wondered for a moment where James and Remus were, but then he thought that he was happy they weren't there.

If they were they would be fussing over him, they would pity him, and they would see how weak he was. And he would have none of that.

He sighed painfully and closed his eyes. Why him? Why did he have to be stuck with horrible parents? Why did they hate him so much? Was it something he had done? He knew it was, but he didn't know for sure what it was.

Sirius, you stupid! He chided his self. You know what you did. You did everything they told you not to, you disobeyed them every chance you got! Why would they love you, how could they love you when you acted like that? You deserve everything you got!

He wasn't sure if he really thought what he was saying was true, he was so confused! He felt like he didn't know anything anymore, nothing was sure now. He felt his eyes start to water and turned his head to wipe them on his pillow.

He couldn't cry! What was he a baby? He heard someone coming down the hall. It was James and Remus! Sirius wasn't ready to talk yet! He didn't even want to face them! He quickly closed his eyes and turned his head to the wall.

Through his eyelids he could see the light turn on and he felt someone looking at him.

"Still asleep." James said.

"Your Mum said he probably would be." Remus said.

"Yah." James said.

Sirius heard the disappointment in James's voice, but he still kept his eyes closed. He couldn't face them.

"Well I don't know about you, but I'm tired." Remus said. "Its twelve thirty."

"Yah." James said. He still sounded pretty down. "I think sleep sounds great."

It took both Remus and James a few minutes to get ready for bed, then James turned the light off and Sirius heard him climb into his bed.

Sirius opened his eyes and stared at the dark wall as a warm tear fell onto his pillow.

**Very short,** but it was supposed to be attached to the last chapter. I'll put the next chapter up now too to make up for it :)


	13. Telling James What Happened

**Hope you like this!**

Two days later Sirius was sitting on his bed alone looking up at the ceiling; bored out of his mind. He would give anything to be out of this bed. James and Remus had gone with Mr. Potter to Diagon Ally to get theirs a few supplies for Mrs. Potter.

Sirius looked across the room at the window and saw his beaten reflection in it; his heart sank. How could they? How could his parents do this? Anger was rising in his heart.

He was still in a lot of pain, although Mrs. Potter gave him something to help it a little. Breathing was the devil, moving was the devil, eating was the devil, thinking was the devil. Basically everything hurt.

He looked at a calendar on James's wall; it wasn't that long before school started. How was he going to face everybody? He couldn't even face his friends without feeling ashamed!

Mrs. Potter had told him he wouldn't be all better by the time they started school, but still, he had hoped he would be at least able to get off this freaking bed!

It's only been two days. Sirius said to himself, calming own a little. Gosh I'm bored.

Just then Mrs. Potter came into the room carrying a bowl of soup. "Are you ready for lunch dear?" She asked, setting a tray on the nightstand beside him.

"Thanks." Sirius said.

"Are you okay dear?" Mrs. Potter asked sitting on James's bed.

Sirius sighed, ouch. "I'm fine." He said. "I'm just so freaking bored and so freaking tired of being in pain all the freaking time."

Mrs. Potter looked at him with understanding. "I know honey." She said softly. "And I'm sorry I can't do more to help you feel better, or heal faster."

"It's not your fault." Sirius said quickly. "Its…" he was about to say it was his, but he knew how Mrs. Potter would react to that. "Its theirs." He said instead.

Mrs. Potter nodded. "Yes it is." She said this as if she knew what Sirius was thinking. "It is your parents fault Sirius. Not yours."

Wow. Sirius thought, she can read minds!

"I know." Sirius said calmly.

"Do you?" Mrs. Potter asked skeptically.

Sirius just stared at her; he didn't know what to say.

"I can see it on your face Sirius." Mrs. Potter said kindly. "I can see that you're hurting on the inside just as much as you are on the outside. But it's not your fault."

Sirius still stayed silent and looked down at his sheets.

"Sirius, look at me." Mrs. Potter said.

Sirius looked up.

"You can't blame yourself." She said. "What your parents did, it was awful, but it was not your fault."

"If I just would have…"Sirius started.

"No Sirius." Mrs. Potter said. "No matter what you did, you didn't deserve this. Understand?"

"Yes." Sirius said quietly. He understood her alright, but he wasn't sure if he believed her.

Mrs. Potter stood up and kissed him on the forehead. "Don't think on it anymore." She said. "Rest and eat your lunch. You'll be okay."

When Mrs. Potter left the room Sirius didn't move for a minute. Was she right? Was it really not his fault? What if it was just his parents?

Sirius shook his head; don't be stupid. He said to himself. You did something, it is your fault. You could have been better, you should have been better.

About an hour later James and Remus got home with Mr. Potter.

"Hey Mum!" James exclaimed. "We got you something really cool!"

"Welcome back" Mrs. Potter laughed.

"We got you a temperature keeping cauldron." James said. "You know how you are always going on about how you over heat some potions and all that? Well this one keeps track of the temperature and turns red when it's starting to get too hot!"

"Wow." Mrs. Potter said happily.

"We also got Sirius some stuff." James said sitting down. "How's he doing?"

"I'm not sure to tell the truth." Mrs. Potter said. "When I was up there about an hour ago he seemed pretty down, like he was blaming himself for what happened."

"But it's not his fault!" James exclaimed.

"I know." Mrs. Potter said. "And I think deep down he knows that too, he's just struggling right now."

"Well Remus and I will go up there and set him straight." James said, starting to get up from the couch.

"He's sleeping right now." Mrs. Potter said.

"And I don't think you barging up there and _setting him straight _will help that much." Mr. Potter said.

"But we've got to do something." James said.

"I think just do like Remus keeps saying." Mr. Potter said. "Be there for him."

"Show him that you care, and that you don't blame him." Mrs. Potter said.

James heaved a great sigh and flopped back on the couch. "This is going to take a while isn't it?" He said.

"I'm afraid so honey." Mrs. Potter said with a smile.

About three days later Sirius woke up to see James looking at him. Remus had gone home the previous day for the full moon.

"Hi." He said confused.

James said nothing.

"What are you doing?" Sirius asked.

"I want to know what's going on." James demanded.

"What?" Sirius asked, painfully sitting up a little.

"With you." James said. "I can tell that you're hurting both on the outside and the inside."

"Been talking to your Mum?" Sirius asked a little annoyed.

"A little." James said. "Sirius," he said more softly. "I can't stand to see you like this mate. I hate seeing you hurting this much. It's like a part of me is hurting, or breaking and there's nothing I can do about it."

"James," Sirius started, but then James cut him off.

"Sirius, we all see it." He said. "And I realize that it takes a long time for your wounds to heal, but it's more than just that. You're beating yourself up Sirius; you've got to stop blaming yourself."

"You don't understand." Sirius said, suddenly feeling himself getting angry.

"I would if you'd tell me!" James exclaimed. "Sirius, you are not alone in this! I'll help you if you let me, tell me mate." Tears were starting to form in James's eyes and his voice was pleading. "Please." He said.

"I just…" Sirius felt tears start to form in his eyes too. "How could they?" he said suddenly, breaking down. "I…I'm their son. What did I do to deserve this?"

"Nothing!" James exclaimed breathlessly. "Sirius, you didn't-"

"Then why did this happen!" Sirius exclaimed, cutting James off. "Why… why does it have to be me? Why does everything have to happen to me? Why can't I have loving parents who care about me! Why do I get ones that hate and that do this!"

Sirius was breathing heavily, it really hurt. There was about a minute of silence when James spoke up.

"What did happen Sirius?"James asked softly.

Sirius looked at James for a moment, as if trying to decide if he was really ready to tell him.

"I-" Sirius tried to take a controlling breath. "I had come downstairs for dinner when my dad started. I had gotten a letter from Remus, and my father asked who it was from."

Sirius shook and took another controlling breath. "I told him and he called Remus a half blood, said he was filthy." Sirius sniffed.

James remained silent, knowing that it would be better not to interrupt.

"He went on about how I was just disgracing the family name and I shouldn't allow myself to be seen with people like you guys. That's when I started yelling back. I tried not to, I really did, bu-but I couldn't help it with all the awful things he was saying. I told them that he wasn't as great as he thought, I said he wasn't half as good as some of the muggle borns. That's when he hit me. 

He threw me against the wall. It's my own fault really; I deserved it, I knew what would happen."

At this James couldn't let Sirius go on. "No Sirius." He said gently, but sternly. "It was not your fault. No matter what you did you don't deserve this understand? Never ever!"

Sirius nodded then went on, struggling to keep from sobbing. "I asked him if he th-thought he was tough by beating up his own son. I asked him if it proved anything. Then my m-mother said how dare I talk to my father that way then she c-c." Sirius took a breath. "Then she cursed me. The Cruciatus curse. That wasn't the first time she ever used it on me or anything, but it's never a very pleasant feeling. You never get used to it. After that is when they gave me the potion. _Kreacher, get Sirius a drink_ she said."

He cried some more.

"Why me?" he asked. "Why did I get with _them_ as my parents. What have I done to deserve this? I mean my own parents! My own bloody parents! After that they cursed me some more and my dad started kicking me again and I said something else, I don't remember what it was, but it must have been bad because after it my mom threw a hex at me and cuts started appearing. It felt like I was on fire. Then I swept their legs from under them and tried to run for it. I made it to the hall, but they caught me. They threw a few more curses at me then when they thought I was unconscious they let their guard down and I knocked them into the kitchen and ran for it."

He sat there for a few minutes, not crying and not saying anything.

"I hate them." Sirius said darkly. "I _hate_ them all, but…" Sirius didn't want to say it. It was his worst fear. "But what if I'm like them?"

Tears were running silently down James's cheeks.

"Listen mate." James said sitting on the edge of Sirius's bed, grabbing his shoulders and looking him straight in his eyes. "You are nothing like them. Nothing! You are a good man, a Gryffindor, you should be proud of that. You are top in our class and Sirius, you have a good heart. That's what matters most, not your blood but your heart. You have a great heart Sirius and a great mind."

"I don't _ever_ want to go back." Sirius cried. "I can't stand it."

"And you never have to. You'll stay here. My parents would like nothing more than to keep you here. In fact if you ever tried to go back we'd all hunt you down and stop you. Tie you to this bed if we had to. We love you Sirius. Heck, I think maybe my parents love you more than they do me." James joked. "You certainly are better behaved than I am. This is your house now Sirius. This is where you belong."

Sirius started to cry harder and James pulled him into a tight hug. Sirius's shoulder screamed in pain at the sudden movement, but he didn't care, he was going to be okay now. He was home.

**Thanks for reading and please keep reviewing!**


	14. Midnight Agony

**Hey guys!** Here's the next chapter I hope you like it and thank you so much for your reviews!

Sirius opened his eyes; it was dark and his leg hurt. He sat up painfully. Oh wow, his leg really hurt! Holy crap his leg hurt! It was on fire! Freak! Wow!

"Ahh!" he cried out. His leg felt like it was going to explode. "Ahh!"

The light in the room flicked on and James rushed to Sirius as the door burst open and Mr. and Mrs. Potter came running in.

"Sirius what's wrong?" Mr. Potter asked when he rushed to his side.

"My leg! Ow, my leg!" Sirius cried.

Mr. Potter pulled back the sheets and tried to roll back Sirius's pajama leg, but his leg was too swollen, so he drew out his wand and cut them, exposing Sirius's leg.

Everyone in the room gasped; Sirius's knee was swollen and a dark purple reached half way down his calf.

"It looks like that was a slow reacting curse!" Mrs. Potter said, stepping up to Sirius's side and drawing out her own wand. "James!" she said to her son who was standing by the bed looking horrified. "Go get some very hot water and ice cold water, towels and bandages, gloves and a large empty pot."

James nodded and quickly disappeared out into the hall.

"Ahh." Sirius cried; the pain was becoming unbearable.

"It's alright Sirius, just hold on a second." Mrs. Potter said examining his leg.

James came dashing back into the room in a few minutes, his arms full of the things Mrs. Potter called for.

"Bring them here." Mrs. Potter said.

James carefully set the things down next to Mrs. Potter, careful not to spill the water.

Mrs. Potter put the gloves on and then dipped a towel in the steaming hot water then placed the steaming towel on Sirius's knee.

Sirius yelled in pain.

"I'm sorry dear." Mrs. Potter said in a pleading tone. "I know it's hot, but we need to draw the infection out."

James climbed onto the bed and sat beside Sirius and put his arms around him. Tears of pain were streaming down Sirius' face.

Mrs. Potter re-dipped the towel in the searing hot water and placed it on Sirius's leg again.

Another scream of pain.

Mrs. Potter, tears running down her cheeks as well as she dipped and reapplied the towel about ten times, each time leaving it on just long enough for it to cool it off. When Mrs. Potter took the towel off the tenth time Sirius's leg had turned a yellowish green color.

"I'm sorry Sirius Dear, but this is going to hurt." she warned him. "James if you want to brace him."

James grabbed Sirius's shoulders tightly. Sirius let out another howl of pain, James forgot his shoulder was injured.

"Sorry mate." James said readjusting his hold.

Mrs. Potter took the large empty pot and put it under Sirius's leg. She looked at Mr. Potter and nodded. "Alright Daniel."

Mr. Potter drew a knife out of the air with his wand and bent down over Sirius's leg.

Sirius's eyes widened at the sight, he turned his head and buried it in James's chest.

Mr. Potter put the knife to Sirius's skin, it was cold, and Sirius flinched. Then Mr. Potter dug the sharp blade into Sirius's leg and cut a long cut from just below his knee to a third down his calf.

Sirius screamed, he didn't think his leg could hurt any more. Just make it stop! He felt something oozing out of his leg, but he didn't want to look; he didn't think he could handle it.

After what seemed like ages the oozing stopped Mr. Potter sealed the cut on Sirius's leg. After he had done that Mrs. Potter put a cold towel on his leg. He felt a sudden rush of relief go through his leg. He turned around and looked at the scene. The large pot was filled to almost overflowing with a dark greenish purple puss. The sheets were covered in the stuff too as well as blood.

"That's it sweetheart." Mrs. Potter said gently caressing Sirius's arm. "We might have to do it again in another week or two so be warned."

Sirius nodded, taking very deep and painful breaths.

"What the heck was that?" James asked; breathless at seeing his friend in so much agony.

"The curse." Sirius gasped. "The one they… put on my leg."

"Do you remember what curse it was?" Mrs. Potter asked.

"No." Sirius sighed.

"Don't you know Mum?" James asked.

"I think I might, but I wanted to see if Sirius knew so I could be sure." Mrs. Potter said.

"What do you think it was?" Mr. Potter asked.

"I seems like it was Hemdempta." Mrs. Potter said.

"That was it." Sirius said. "It sounds familiar."

Mrs. Potter nodded. "Let's get you into some clean pajamas and a clean bed."

Sirius nodded, he was so tired he could barely move and he was in so much pain he felt as if he was going to pass out from it.

James helped Sirius into the bathroom to clean his leg up and to help him into new pajamas while Mr. Potter emptied the pot and Mrs. Potter got new sheets.

When Sirius came out of the bathroom supported on James there was no evidence of the incident except for the immense pain throbbing in his leg.

"Here you are dear." Mrs. Potter said, folding back the new sheets on Sirius's bed. "Nice and clean."

James slowly lowered Sirius into the bed and helped him get situated.

"Goodnight dears." Mrs. Potter said and she and Mr. Potter left the room.

James crossed the room and turned off the light then climbed back into bed, but soon found that he couldn't fall asleep.

"Sirius, are you asleep?" James asked the large dark mass across his room.

"No." Sirius grunted.

"How's your leg?" James asked.

"That's why I'm still awake." Sirius said, James could hear the pain in his voice.

"Oh." James said. He looked up at the ceiling and thought for a moment. "I can't believe how bad that curse was." He said after a long pause.

"Hmhm." Sirius said through gritted teeth.

James sat up and looked closer at Sirius. "Is it really still that bad?"

"Its not as bad as it was, but it still isn't very pleasant." Sirius said.

"I really hope we don't have to do it again, that was awful." James said, rolling onto his side and looking at Sirius.

A cloud that had been blocking the moon moved and the moon's light was coming in James's open window and casting a soft, calming glow on the room.

Sirius turned his head and looked at James with a great sigh. "I hope not too, but from what your Mum said we'll have to sooner or later."

"Yah." James said. He yawned a large yawn and felt a large waive of tiredness come over him.

"I'm tired too." Sirius said to James's yawn. "The pain in my leg is dying down a bit, I think I'll try to sleep."

In a few seconds both boys were fast asleep.

**So, what did you think?** Please review and tell me. The highlight of my day is getting reviews!


	15. The Black's Request

**Here it is! The next chapter.** I hope you all like it. Thank you so much to all for my wonderful reviews. MilyMB- if you think you hate Sirius's parents now, just wait until after this chapter. And thank you to Yuka-san, Sfactor94, daniz, bcsbookworm, Lucky's Girl, ambush99, Willow-tree48 and all you others. Sorry, but I can't put all my reviewers on here because it will be too long, and this part is already too long I'm surprised if you are still reading it. Now, on with the story!

Mrs. Potter was right; they did have to do the painful procedure again in exactly one week. Afterwards Sirius's leg was wrapped tightly and he finally allowed to leave his bed! He was limping fiercely and every step he took sent a shock of pain through his whole body. Mr. and Mrs. Potter made him use a crutch which he could only support it on one side, the side his wounded leg was on, because of his broken shoulder. He often times would try to get away without using it though because it was more of a nuisance than he had patience for, so he just sucked the pain up and lied to all the others, telling them it wasn't all that bad.

Still, as it was, Mrs. Potter was keeping him off his feet as much as possible. When he was upstairs he was in his bed, when he was downstairs he was either at the table or on the couch. He hated having to stay still, but he also hated moving because of the great pain it caused him.

Not that he wasn't in pain when he wasn't moving; he was always in a constant state of pain. Moving just made it worse.

One morning when Sirius, James, and Mr. and Mrs. Potter were sitting in the living room on the couch they heard a hard, demanding knock on the door.

Sirius jumped, his face went pale and his heart started beating so fast he thought it would burst.

"Its them!" he exclaimed."Its them I know it!"

"Hush love." Mrs. Potter said rushing to him. "How do you know who it is?"

"I know!" Sirius cried. "I can feel it. What do they want?"

"Hush now love." Mrs. Potter said calmingly, "Daniel and I won't let them take you; we won't let them hurt you."

"You boys stay here while Sharon and I answer the door." Mr. Potter said.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter rushed into the entryway and Mr. Potter opened the door. Sure enough, standing in the doorway, looking foreboding as ever were Mr. Orion Black and his wife Walburga.

"Daniel." Mr. Black said coarsely.

"Orion." Mr. Potter said just as coarse.

"May we come in?" Mrs. Black said very stiffly, as if she was telling the Potters they were coming in, but just using the words for asking.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter stepped aside and the Blacks stepped in the doorway.

"We're not giving Sirius back to you." Mrs. Potter said.

Mr. Potter put his arm around her.

"We don't want him." Mrs. Black snapped.

"Walburga." Mr. Black said.

Mrs. Black fell silent and glared at the Potters.

"We've not come for Sirius." Mr. Black said. "We don't want him. However, what we also don't want is word of this to get around."

"Hah," Mr. Potter scoffed. "Don't want to ruin your name do you? Don't want to be punished for you actions, afraid are you?"

Mr. Black took a calming breath, "What we offer in return for not pressing charges is complete guardianship over Sirius."

"We'll get it from you anyway." Mrs. Potter said. "We'll take this to the Ministry and we'll get Sirius from you anyway."

"I have the papers here." Mr. Black pulled a packet out of his robes. "Walburga and I have both signed, now all we need is for Sirius-"

"Do you really think it's that easy?" Mrs. Potter interrupted.

"That's not how it works Orion." Mr. Potter said. "If you think we're just going to roll over,"

"This is not up to you Daniel." Mr. Black said curtly. "This is between us and our son. You have no say in the matter."

Mr. Potter looked outraged, "Sirius won't let you do this, if you think we'd just give up,"

"I'll do it."

The four adults turned around, Sirius was leaning heavily on the doorframe to the hall.

"Sirius," Mrs. Potter started.

"I said I want to do it." He cut her off and pushed himself off the doorway. He limped to where his parents were, trying not to show pain on his face.

"Sirius _darling_" Mrs. Black said the last word mockingly.

"Mother, Father." Sirius said with a short nod.

"Sirius, if we could talk about this," Mr. Potter started, but Sirius cut him off with a shake of his head.

"Could we borrow the kitchen Sharon?" Mrs. Black asked, again in an ordering tone.

Mrs. Potter nodded and led the Blacks to the kitchen.

When the Blacks were alone in the kitchen and the door was firmly shut Mrs. Black sneered at Sirius.

"Knew you'd want to do this way." She said. "Don't want all your friends to know do you?"

Sirius thought he could say the same thing to them, but instead he said, "Where are the papers?"

Mr. Black set them on the table with a pen and ink and slid them to Sirius, who sat gingerly at the table and started signing.

Mr. Black narrowed his eyes. "Looks like our curses have taken their course."

Sirius ignored him.

"I see that your leg is hurting." Mrs. Black said. "Your great grandfather invented that spell, painful is it?"

Sirius kept his head down and read the papers as fast and carefully as he could; making sure his parents weren't trying to swindle him out of his money or anything.

"How many times have you had to clean it out so far? I hear there's only one way and it's supposed to be pretty excruciating."

Everything seemed okay on this page, so Sirius signed it and moved on to the next.

"Your bruises," Mrs. Black started, Sirius looked up for a moment. "They won't go away for about a month, and those scars will take even longer. You go back to school in about two weeks don't you?" Sirius looked back down and continued reading. "How embarrassing. Have you thought up a lie to tell you're silly little schoolmates? Can you blame this one on falling down the stairs, or a fight with Regulus?"

Sirius sighed, oh don't do that, it hurt.

Mrs. Black chuckled. "Your ribs hurt too don't they? They've not healed and they won't for another two months or so. I love these curses that make pain last."

"There." Sirius said loudly, he stood up. "All done."

Mr. Black picked up the papers and flipped through them. "You've skipped a page." He snapped and threw the packet back at Sirius.

Sirius looked the page over and smiled, "No I haven't." he threw the paper back at his father. "You think I'm going to give you a tenth of my inheritance just for letting me go?"

"Maybe we won't let you go then." Mr. Black said.

Sirius smiled, "You will. If you don't the Potters will take this to the Ministry and you'll be put through the bloody ringer. Think of what our precious name will mean then."

Mr. and Mrs. Black stood silent, and Sirius knew he had them.

"Fine." Mrs. Black snapped. "Keep your bloody money, we don't need it."

She walked up to him and sneered, her lips curling. "I am happy to be rid of you. You never brought me anything but grief and disappointment." She backhanded Sirius, making him fall in his weakened condition.

In seconds Mr. and Mrs. Potter, James, Jack and Remus burst into the kitchen.

"Out!" Mr. Potter bellowed.

James rushed over to Sirius and helped him up.

When both Mr. and Mrs. Black had been escorted out of the house both Mr. and Mrs. Potter came rushing into the kitchen where Sirius was being lowered down at the table.

"Are you alright dear?" Mrs. Potter asked dropping to her knees and inspecting Sirius's red cheek.

"I'm fine." Sirius said. "I'm used to that, it didn't hurt. Just another black eye."

Mr. Potter sat at the table with the other boys as Mrs. Potter got Sirius some ice.

"Sirius," Mr. Potter said. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

"You want to know why I signed the papers?" Sirius said putting the ice Mrs. Potter handed him on his eye. He sighed and shook his head.

"I don't expect any of you to really understand; to you it's all so clear and easy.

Just go to the Ministry and it will all be okay, but what if we didn't win? What if they said I had to go back? I can't take that chance."

"Sirius, it's very unlikely that they would have sent you back, especially with all the evidence we have." Mr. Potter said.

"I know." Sirius said, taking the ice pack off his eye and playing around with the ice in it. "And it's not just that." He chuckled slightly, "I guess it's my Black pride. I know it's stupid, but I don't want this to get out. I don't want people to know what happened. I just…" He sighed deeply, "I don't know. It's kind of embarrassing, my own parents…you know." Sirius looked down and put the pack back on his eye.

"It's just easier this way." He said quickly, and everyone knew the conversation was over.

"Well." James said loudly. "When are we going to go to Diagon Ally to get our school stuff? We go back in two weeks."

Sirius groaned.

"I think we can go next week." Mrs. Potter said. "When Sirius's leg has healed at least a little bit more."

"I can't even imagine walking around Diagon Ally now." Sirius said, leaning back in his chair and balancing the ice pack on his eye. "I can barely walk around here."

"Maybe we can get you a wheelchair." James said.

Sirius threw the icepack directly at James's head. "I'll get you a wheelchair." He snapped playfully.

James chuckled and rubbed his head where the icepack hit and tossed it back to Sirius. "It was just a suggestion." He said.

"No marauder would ever be in a wheelchair!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Especially not the great and powerful Sirius Black." James said.

Sirius forced himself to laugh along with everyone else; according to him there was nothing great and powerful about himself. He was just weak and cowardly.

Sirius got up from the table and walked out of the kitchen and into the back yard.

"What did I say?" James asked.

"Maybe you should go talk to him." Mrs. Potter said.

James nodded, "Yah." He said. "Yah, I'll go talk to him then."

When James walked outside he found Sirius reclining on the swinging bench on the deck with his head back and eyes closed.

When he heard the door close Sirius opened one eye and looked at James then closed it again.

"Hey James." He said.

"Hey Sirius." James said sitting down on a chair across from him.

It was a warm, beautiful day. The sky was a clear blue with a few white fluffy clouds and a slight breeze made the temperature just perfect; not too hot at all.

"You okay?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged.

James sighed; he needed a different tactic.

"So…" he started. "Beautiful day isn't it?"

Sirius opened his eyes and looked up at the sky. "Yah it is." He said. He sat up and smiled half heartedly at James. "Makes you want to play Quidditch doesn't it."

"Yah it really does." James said, happy to be getting a conversation started.

"I'm afraid I won't be much help this year. I don't think I'll be healed enough to play." Sirius said sadly.

"Well…" James didn't know what to say to this. He was the captain if the Gryffindor Quidditch team and he hated to lose his best beater. "You have to be better. You will be better by then." He tried to say this with confidence, but he wasn't sure it came out right.

Sirius sighed, "I really hope so James." There was a tone of desperation in his voice. "But I also really doubt it. Arg!" Sirius let out a cry of frustration. "I'm so sick of this James! I'm sick of being in pain all the time! Every movement I make sends this… this rush of pain all over! And even when I don't move it hurts! Breathing hurts! Sometimes I… I just wish it would all go away."

"What do you mean?" James asked warily.

Sirius chuckled, "I don't mean dying or anything, but I do sometimes wonder if all this pain was worth it. Maybe I should have just stayed with my parents."

"You don't mean that." James said quietly.

"Don't I?" Sirius said. "Sure my life was miserable there and it's not like it wasn't painful at times, but it was never this bad."

"Sirius," James said. "They would have kept beating you, and they did all this to you before you left, when they didn't even know you were leaving."

"Not quite." Sirius said. "The Cruciatus curse they did before, they've done that for a few years now, but the curses with my shoulder and my knee they did when I was trying to escape and they are what are causing most of this stupid pain!"

"Sirius…" James said. "You don't mean that. You know you had to leave."

"No I guess I really don't mean it." Sirius sighed. "I'm just tired." Sirius leaned back in the bench again.

It was quiet for a moment, James was wondering if he should say anything when Sirius spoke up.

"And I'm scared James." It was hard for Sirius to say this. "I'm afraid of what's going to happen. What will people think when I show up at the train station like this? I'm afraid of how long this pain will last, and what if my leg gets infected again while we're at school? What if it happens during class or when a lot of people are around like in the great hall or something? And my face isn't going to be healed by then, I'll have cuts and bruises still and my shoulder has only healed a little. What if my parents are at the train station and they try to take me back? I… I had a dream about that last night. I've had nightmares ever since I left Grimmauld Place."

"I know." James said. He had been woken a few times during the night by Sirius's nightmares.

"How long will they go on? Won't they ever stop? I try to be strong, I try not to seem weak, but they keep coming. Even during the day I feel haunted. Everywhere I go I expect to see my mother and father ready with another curse, ready to take me back and never let me go. And now… now they come over with papers giving me my freedom from them forever. I had to jump at the chance. I never have to go back James. It's kind of hard to imagine."

"Yah." James said. "I guess I just never realized how… deep" James wished he could think of a better word. "all this stuff went. This whole time I guess I've been a little selfish. Sure, I've wanted you to get better and all, but it was more for me. I don't like seeing you this way I feel somewhat responsible and I know there's nothing I can do to make it all go away quickly. I guess I just figure that when all the physical wounds go away everything will be back to normal, except for the fact that you're now living at my house, but that's fun, I like that. I see that its more than just physical wounds, like I said earlier, but I guess before I just figured that they would go away same as your cuts and stuff. Sirius, I'm sorry I haven't been as supportive as I should have been."

The whole time while James was talking Sirius was silent, but once James apologized Sirius spoke up. "James, you don't have anything to be sorry for." He said, he couldn't believe James thought he did. "If I didn't have you I don't know what I would do. I'd probably be dead in a ditch somewhere. Or if not that then definitely an emotional wreck. James, you have been here for me, you've been the best mate anyone can ever ask for."

James smiled shyly and nodded. The two of them sat in a comfortable silence for a moment then James decided to ask Sirius the question he came out here to ask.

"So why did you come out here? Did I say something?"

"What?" Sirius asked, confused for a moment, but then he realized what James was referring to. "Oh that. Well… like I said I'm happy and all that I don't have to deal with my parents anymore, but still, they are my parents. Having them come over here and basically say we don't want you anymore is… its kind of a slap in the face. I guess I always knew they never wanted me, I mean it's not like they were hiding it or anything, but it, I guess it just finalizes it all. Its all over now. My parents hate me, and hey guess what, the feelings mutual."

"Will you be okay?" James asked after another moment of silence.

Sirius gave James a curious look; "I'll live if that's what you mean. As far as being okay… I don't really know. I guess I _will_ be eventually, but honestly I'm not yet."

**Don't you hate those bloody, freaking berks!** This next chapter might not be up as extremely fast as the other, meaning in two days, but it will be up soon. I actually have to write all of this one. Up until now I had it already written, but I am completely re-writing the rest.


	16. Enter Jack

**Hey guys!** Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long. And I also hope you like this chapter! Thanks for your reviews! They were great!

The next morning while everyone, except Sirius who was still upstairs sleeping, was downstairs eating breakfast the door bell rang and James, knowing who it was, rushed to the door.

"Jack!" he exclaimed, pulling Jack in and wrapping his arms around him in a tight hug.

"James!" Jack exclaimed, pushing James away. "What are you trying to do?" he asked. "Crush me?"

James laughed. "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Neeva." He said to Jack's parents. "Would you like to come in? We're just eating breakfast."

"Thank you James," Mrs. Neeva said. "But we've really got to be going."

Mr. and Mrs. Neeva said goodbye to Jack, then left.

"They have an appointment at noon." Jack explained.

James nodded. "Have you eaten?" he asked.

"Yah," Jack said. "But you know I can always go for more. How's Sirius?"

"He's sleeping right now." James said, leading Jack into the kitchen. "He's…alright. He's in a lot of pain, although he's trying to hide it. His parents came over last night and officially disowned him, and he's struggling with that too, although again, he's pretending not to."

"Wow." Jack said. "I can't believe all this happened."

"I know." James said sadly. "Wait until he tells you about it, I thought I could kill his parents when he told me."

Upon entering the kitchen Jack was greeted warmly by Mr. and Mrs. Potter and handed a plate with a delicious smelling breakfast.

"Where's Remus?" Jack asked through a full mouth.

"He's coming back this afternoon." James said. "Had to go home for the full moon."

James didn't have to worry about saying this in front of his parents as both of them knew about Remus's "condition" as they all called it.

"Oh." Jack said, swallowing hard. "When do you suppose Sirius will be awake?"

"Might be now." James said, taking a large swig of pumpkin juice. "We can go check in a second."

After everyone had eaten James and Jack went upstairs and found Sirius lying on the bed with his eyes slightly open and a dead bored look on his face.

Jack was taken aback when he saw Sirius, he knew he was in bad shape, but he didn't know it was this bad.

"Hey Sirius." He said with a forced smile.

"Jack!" Sirius exclaimed. "You'll forgive me for not getting up, but it hurts like crazy. When did you get here?" He laughed.

Jack tried to laugh too, but it came out a little too forced.

"You looked bored mate." James said sitting on the foot of Sirius's bed.

"You have no idea." Sirius moaned. "I'm going crazy sitting here in this bloody bed."

"We cleaned the blood off; it shouldn't be bloody." James smiled.

Sirius threw James a glare. "You are too funny." He said sarcastically. "So, what's on the agenda for today?"

"More fun sitting in the Potter manor." Mrs. Potter said, coming in with a tray of waffles and bacon for Sirius.

"Oh come on!" Sirius groaned. "Sharon, I've got to get out of here."

"Can you walk?" Mrs. Potter asked setting the tray on Sirius's lap.

"That's not fair." Sirius mumbled, shoving a fork full of waffle into his mouth.

Mrs. Potter chuckled and walked out of the room.

"So, Sirius…" Jack said. "You look like death."

"Thank you." Sirius said with a mouth full. "I feel like death."

Everyone laughed, and Sirius smiled; it was good to have everyone there. It was good to know that they all cared.

"Well, lets at least go outside." Sirius said. "I've got to get out of this house. When did you say Remus was coming again James?"

"Noon." James answered, looking for Sirius's shoes.

That afternoon Remus came back looking no worse than usual and the four marauders spent all the day outside.

In a week's time Mrs. Potter finally gave her permission for the four boys to go to Diagon Ally as long as they were accompanied with her and Mr. Potter.

Sirius was overjoyed at the thought of getting out of the house and going someplace interesting, but he was also worried about what would happen if he were to see someone from school. What if he were to see Alison? He was not healed near enough for that.

He told his fears to James that morning when Jack and Remus were downstairs, who in turn comforted him by saying they would think up something really cool to tell anyone they met.

"Come on boys!" Mrs. Potter called up the stairs at James and Sirius.

"We're coming!" James yelled. "Come on." He said turning to Sirius. "I'll help you down the stairs."

With difficulty James and Sirius reached the living room where everyone was waiting by the fireplace.

"Sirius, I'll take you by side apparition." Mr. Potter said.

Sirius nodded and leaned on the couch as James went to the fireplace with the others.

"We'll meet you there then." Mr. Potter said, taking hold of Sirius's arm.

With a familiar, but unpleasant feeling Sirius and Mr. Potter disappeared.

Sirius felt even more uncomfortable than usual this time than any of the others because of the pressure on his wounds. Then with a rush of air Sirius found himself standing in diagon ally.

It was quite different from the quiet of the Potter's house and Sirius loved it. People were yelling to one another and hurrying up and down the streets. Sirius could smell the wondrous aroma of a bakery nearby.

Sirius and Mr. Potter only had to wait about a minute when the others arrived, Mrs. Potter was carrying Sirius's crutch.

"Thanks." Sirius said half heartedly when she handed it to him. I really would rather not be seen with this stupid thing. He thought.

"Well then." Mr. Potter said. "Where to first? James, let me see your list."

James handed his father his list of supplies he would need and Mr. Potter read over it quickly.

"how about we get your books last." He said. "That way we won't have to carry them around everywhere else."

"How about we go to the bank first?" Mrs. Potter said.

"Ah, yes." Mr. Potter folded James's list. "That's a great idea dear. Come along then!"

As they walked Sirius kept his eyes open for anyone they knew. He hoped to high heaven that they didn't see anyone.

Gringotts was nice and cool and rather quiet considering how many people were in the building. But then goblins seemed to have that effect on people.

Sirius walked up to one of the counters where a foreboding goblin was scratching figures onto a piece of parchment.

"Ahem." Sirius cleared his throat to get the goblin's attention.

"I need to get money from my vault." He said clearly.

The goblin looked Sirius over for a moment, as if considering if he were worth his time. Then he set down his quill and clasped his hands together.

"Do you have your key?" he said flatly.

"Yes, right here." Sirius handed his key over and the goblin inspected it carefully.

"Right then." He looked at Sirius again for a moment, Sirius was starting to get annoyed with this goblin. "Will you need someone to go for you?" he asked as though speaking to a small child.

"Obviously." Sirius said curtly.

The goblin smiled at Sirius's rudeness showing his pointed teeth. "Very well then." He handed Sirius a piece of paper. "I'll need you to fill this out and say the amount you wish extracted from your vault."

Sirius took the paper and wrote down an amount he though should last him long enough and handed it back to the Goblin who read the paper then snapped his fingers. Almost instantly another goblin appeared at his side.

"Get young Mr. Black money from his vault for him."

"Yes sir." The second goblin said with a deep bow.

"I'll wait over there." Sirius said pointing to a chair along the wall to his left.

Sirius was grateful to have a place to sit down. He was hiding it, but he was feeling rather tired and he still had a whole day of this.

"Hey mate." Jack said, sitting down next to Sirius after getting his muggle money exchanged.

"Hey." Sirius said.

"You look tired." Jack said, looking at Sirius closely.

"I am tired." Sirius said.

"Will you be okay for the rest of the day?" Jack asked.

"Oh yah." Sirius said stretching. "I just need to sit down for a sec then I'll be fine."

Jack nodded. "So, is a goblin getting your money for you then?"

"Yah." Sirius said with a large yawn.

"Hey guys!" s girl's voice said.

Sirius looked up and saw to his dismay Jessica standing in front of him and Jack.

"Hey Jess." Jack said with a concerned glance at Sirius. He knew how much Sirius didn't want to see any of their friends.

"Oh my gosh, Sirius are you okay?" Jessica asked, noticing Sirius's injuries. "What the heck happened?"

"I, um." Sirius stammered.

"He had a run in with some dark wizards." Jack explained for him.

"Really!" Jessica exclaimed. "Oh, I would have been terrified!"

She sat down on the empty chair next to Sirius.

"Remus is at his vault." Jack said, trying to get rid of her for Sirius's sake.

"Huh?" she asked, distractedly. "Oh, thanks Jack." The then turned her wide eyed attention back to Sirius. "So tell me, where did you see them? Did they just attack you? How did you ever get away? Oh, I would have died."

"Oh, well um…" Sirius was a little confused by her bombardment of questions. "They were um, near my house and yah, they attack me and I got away by sort of stunning them then running."

"Wow." Jessica breathed. "Wait until Al hears this, she'll be so sorry she wasn't here to see you. Are you in a lot of pain? You look like it."

At that moment Jessica's parents called to her and she said goodbye to the boys and followed them out of Gringotts.

"You okay mate?" Jack asked Sirius.

"Yah, I'm fine. I guess I was bound to see someone here, and at least now we have a story. I do sort of hate lying though."

"Its not really a lie." Jack said. "You did get attacked by dark wizards didn't you?"

"Two of the darkest as far as I'm concerned." Sirius said darkly.

"There's that one, and about the "near" your house, I'd call inside very close. So there you have it. You aren't lying, you just aren't telling everything which they don't need to know because its not really any of their business."

Sirius smiled at Jack. "You have a rather twisted logic, but I like it." He said.

"What do you like?" James asked plopping down on the chair next to Sirius with his parents and Remus beside him.

"He likes my logic." Jack informed everyone.

"Oh?" Remus asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yah." Jack said standing up. "Where to now? Jessica was here Remus."

""Really?" Remus asked looking around the bank.

"Yah, but she left. We've got a good story for Sirius now though. He was attacked by dark wizards by his house." We figure it's true enough."

"And so it is." James exclaimed, jumping from the chair. "Where to now Dad?"

"How about we get you boys some new robes? You all seem like you could use new ones. You've all grown about a whole foot."

Sirius rose painfully and followed Mr. and Mrs. Potter out of the bank, with James and Jack on either side of him and Remus in back.

"You okay Sirius?" James asked.

"I'm fine." Sirius grunted, leaning heavily on his crutch.

"Are you sure?" James asked. "I know how you didn't want to see anyone."

"I'm really fine James." Sirius insisted. "We told her the story, she believed it and its all good."

"Alright." James said, still sounding rather unconvinced.

The next few hours went by without any troubles or excitement, but by the middle of the day they all went to the leaky cauldron for lunch and Sirius was exhausted and extremely sore. He felt like if he were to sit down he would never get back up.

"Are you okay Sirius dear?" Mrs. Potter asked as they all sat down. She felt Sirius's forehead with the back of her hand.

"Yah." Sirius said breathlessly. "I'm just pretty tired."

"What more do we need to get Daniel?" Mrs. Potter asked, turning to her husband.

"I think all we have are the potions supplies and the books." Mr. Potter said looking at James's list.

"Perhaps we should take Sirius home after we eat." Mrs. Potter said. "Would you like that Sirius?"

"Yah, probably." Sirius said. He didn't even know if he could stay awake long enough to eat.

Once everyone was done eating Mr. Potter apparated Sirius to James's room then back to his family. James, Jack and Remus offered to stay with Sirius as did both Mr. and Mrs. Potter, but Sirius said all he would be doing was sleeping so they should just enjoy themselves, besides he could use the peace and quiet.

Once Mr. Potter was gone Sirius flopped painfully onto his bed, every inch of him was throbbing with pain and in a few seconds Sirius was blissfully asleep.

**So, was it good?** I have to write the next chapter still, so again, it might be a few days. Please, please keep reviewing! Even if you have nothing to say, just tell me if you liked it. Until next time then!


	17. Starting A New Year

**Hello guys.** I am terribly sorry it took so freaking long to update. My grandpa died, I was really close to him, and honestly, I haven't felt much like writing very much up until now. But now I do, and now I will!

Everyone in the Potter house was running about, scrambling to get things ready to leave for the train station in five minutes, as Mr. Potter kept reminding everyone.

"James! Where did you throw my herbology book?" Remus asked frantically looking everywhere in James's room.

"Under Sirius's bed." James answered, bent over his trunk trying to make everything fit.

Remus dived under Sirius's bed and, after scrambling about a bit, backed out with a triumphant look on his face; the book clutched in his hands.

Just as he started to stand up Jack came running into the room, his arms full of freshly washed clothes. He and Remus collided and clothes and Remus's book went flying into the air.

"What happened?" Mrs. Potter asked rushing in after hearing the loud bang of the two boys landing on the floor. She looked around the room and saw the scattered clothes and all four boys in the room laughing. She sighed, rolled her eyes and told the boys to hurry up then left the room.

Jack shoved all his now unfolded cloths in his trunk on top of his books and other supplies. "Someone help me close this thing!" he exclaimed, leaning all his weight on the lid of his trunk.

"I'm still trying to get mine!" James exclaimed, doing the same thing.

"Me too." Remus said, jumping on his.

Sirius sighed, this was all just too funny. His packing was all done yesterday and earlier that morning. But that was just because everyone helped him before they did their own packing.

"I'll help you." Sirius said, heaving himself painfully off his bed.

"No!" James exclaimed, leaping off his trunk and making the lid fly open and his cloths fly off. He jumped onto Jack's trunk and the lid snapped shut with a click. "Didn't want you to hurt yourself mate." James said patting Sirius on the back.

He jumped back onto his trunk with as much force as he could and his lid also snapped shut.

It took all of James, Jack, and Remus's strength to shut Remus's trunk.

"You have way too many books mate." Jack said panting.

James nodded in vigorous agreement.

"Boys come on!" Mr. Potter called up the stairs. "We're going!"

The few minutes it took for the lot of them to get piled into the car was chaos filled with toes getting stepped on and Sirius falling painfully to the ground after James ran into him. But they were now safely at the train station, with their trunks in an empty compartment, standing beside Mr. and Mrs. Potter talking, waiting for the train to signal that they had to go.

Sirius didn't really know what was being said around him, his eyes were darting all around the station, looking for his two greatest fears. He knew they would be arriving soon to send Regulus off, and he didn't know what to expect.

Would they make a large scene? Would his mother scream? Would his father start throwing punches?

What if they tried to get him to come back? He knew how stupid the thought was, especially now that he had received the official documents from his parents' lawyer: he was no longer their son.

It had hurt more than he had expected it to. A lot more. He had shut himself in James's bathroom, stating that he was going to take a shower, and cried. He cried until it hurt, not that it took much to make his ribs hurt, but he cried so much that his head was throbbing and his eyes were red sore.

He was now officially an unwanted, pathetic and confused burden. He was so very confused, and, if he was being truthful, scared. He had no clue what to do now. Where was he supposed to go? What was he supposed to do? He had no family!

Of course the Potters told him he was theirs now. "You are our son." Mr. Potter had told him, but truthfully that was just words.

He was a Black. Or he used to be, now he was nothing. He was no one. He had no one.

Suddenly he noticed them out of the corner of his eye.

Mr. and Mrs. Black walked tall, their faces stone cold, their eyes straight forward. Regulus was behind them, his face haughty with his nose in the air.

They didn't even look as they passed Sirius. None of them, not even Regulus.

Sirius watched as they walked to the other side of the platform and began talking to other pure families.

"Sirius." Mrs. Potter's voice brought Sirius back from his jumbled thoughts. "Are you alright dear?"

"I am fine." Sirius said in a determined voice that was a little too shaky.

The train whistle saved Sirius from having to discuss the matter further and goodbyes were exchanged lovingly.

Both Mr. and Mrs. Potter made sure Sirius would be coming home for Christmas, as it was now his home too they told him.

"Wow." James exclaimed as the four friends sat down in their compartment. "That was a crazy summer."

"A bit of an understatement." Sirius mumbled.

James nodded.

Then the compartment door flew open and Alison ran to Sirius, followed by Lily, Katie, and Jessica.

Sirius winced as she hugged him tightly. She immediately jumped back, "Oh Sirius!" she exclaimed. "I'm so sorry! Jessica told me you were hurt, I can't believe it! How did this happen?"

"Didn't she tell you?" Sirius asked, he really didn't want to lie again.

"Yes she did, but I can't believe it! Why would the attack you!"

"I don't know, there are a few reasons why they would have I guess, but I don't really know why." Sirius responded, lying.

"Wow." Lily said, sitting beside James. "You look worse that I thought you would."

"Thank you." Sirius said icily.

"Sorry." Lily said. "I'm just shocked, that's all."

"You should have seen him about a month ago." James said. "He looked like the walking dead."

"Felt like it too." Sirius added in a quiet voice. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the seat. He was so tired, too much commotion for one day. He was asleep in minutes.

"Sirius, wake up." James voice woke Sirius up. He slowly opened his eyes; James was standing above him, the girls were gone. "We have to get dressed now, we're almost there." James said handing Sirius his black robes.

Sirius pulled his robes on with James's help just as they pulled into the station.

"Here we go." Sirius moaned and he, James, Jack and Remus walked off the train and into a carriage.

On a whole, the night was pretty usual. Sure, most of the school stared, and too many of them asked questions, but mostly nothing happened. Sirius was ready for bedtime when it came, however, he was exhausted even though he slept most of the way on the train.

"So." James said as he climbed into his bed. "Was that as bad as you thought it would be?"

"I don't know." Sirius moaned from his pillow. "I a way it was, but at least I didn't run into any problems with my family or any other Slytherins."

"That's very true." Jack said, digging through his trunk in only his boxers, looking for his pajamas. "It could have been a whole lot worse."

"How are you feeling Sirius?" Remus asked, sitting on the edge of his bed. "Are you in a lot of pain? Today was a pretty big day for you."

"Yah." Sirius agreed. "I am feeling pretty sore, my leg is throbbing, but I'll be okay. It's not as bad as I expected."

"Another good thing." Jack said. He stood up with his hands on his hips. "I think I might have left my pajamas at your house James."

"Ha ha!" James laughed. "I told you you'd forget them didn't I! I said if you left them in the bathroom then you'd leave them there and you'd have nothing to sleep in!"

"Oh shut up." Jack mumbled, leaning onto his trunk again.

James laughed again and Jack threw his pillow at him.

"Hey!" James cried and was about to retaliate when Remus stopped him.

"Guys, be quiet." He said with a nod toward Sirius's bed.

Sirius was fast asleep, with only his pajama bottoms on, which was how he usually slept in warm weather.

James chuckled lightly and sat back down. "He looks so sweet when he's asleep."

Jack and Remus nodded in agreement.

"I'm happy he's finally out of that house." Jack said taking his pillow from James. "I always knew it was bad for him to be there."

"We all did." Remus said.

"We should have done something sooner." James sighed.

They all sat in silence for a few minutes watching Sirius sleep, thinking about how his life had been up to that point.

"How did he ever survive?" Jack whispered. "All those years of abuse, I don't think I would have made it. I would have given up a long time ago."

"That's what makes Sirius Sirius." James said. "He can't give up; it's never been in him. He's always been the strong one."

"Yah, it's weird to see him like this isn't it?" Jack said.

"When he first showed up at my house, covered in blood and almost dead I thought I was going to die. I went into shock actually." James said. "And the days that followed it was like he had been beaten. Like he had given up. He just sat there not saying much, sleeping a lot and even crying."

"But he came back." Remus said. "Like he always does, and like he always will."

James and Jack nodded.

"Good ol' Sirius." Jack said.

"Good ol' Sirius," James agreed.

_Good ol' Sirius._ Sirius repeated in his head.

**Well?** I know it seems a bit jumbled, but the next chapter is better and I'll put it up now too.


	18. The Fight

**Here it is, just like promised. Hope you like it.**

A month had passed with no real big conflict; Sirius continued to heal and was finally able to get around without his crutch, but still limped, and his bruised had all faded. He now only had a lingering scar on his right cheek, which he actually though made him look a little tougher, but he was told it too would heal in time.

One Wednesday morning Sirius, James, Jack and Remus were walking through the halls before the start of classes when they spotted him.

Regulus was standing in the middle of the large hall, his arms folded over his chest.

"Stay here." Sirius said to his friends. "I'll talk to him alone."

Sirius stepped forward, his friends lingering a little bit back, Regulus met him in the middle.

"Regulus." Sirius said coldly.

"Sirius." Regulus said in the same tone.

"Get out of my way." Sirius hissed.

Regulus shook his head. "No can do brother. Not after what you did. We need to have a talk you and I."

"I have _nothing_ to say to _you._" Sirius spat.

"I disagree." Regulus said smoothly. "You have caused me a lot of pain Sirius."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed. "They aren't…"

"No!" Regulus hissed, knowing what Sirius didn't want to ask. "They would never. They actually like me."

He started pacing across the hall. "No, you have caused me pain in other ways." He glared at Sirius. "You have brought us all the pain of shame."

"You bring that upon yourself little brother." Sirius said.

Regulus stopped and glared at Sirius for a moment, then continued to pace. "how could we have ever gotten something like _you_ in our family. You were a disease, we are glad to be rid of you. mother blasted you off the tapestry you know."

Sirius nodded, "I figured she would have by now." He said. "I'm glad. I don't want any of you any more than you all want me. _You_ bring _me_ shame. You always have. I've always hated being a _Black_." Sirius spat the name as if it were venomous. "Always concerned with the stupid family pride, there is no pride in the family, just fat headed pigs!"

Regulus stopped in his tracks, glaring at Sirius with pure hatred. "I HATE YOU!" he yelled.

"GOOD!" Sirius yelled back. "I HATE YOU TOO! I HATE ALL OF YOU! I ALWAYS HAVE, AND I ALWAYS WILL! THEY WERE RIGHT TO DISOWN ME, IT'S BETTER FOR US ALL; MAKES EVERYONE HAPPY!"

"HAPPY!" Regulus roared. "YOU WERE MY BROTHER! YOU BETRAYED ME!"

"_I _BETRAYED _YOU_?" Sirius roared back, they were now inches from each other, both of their hands were balled in fists. "HOW THE HELL DID _I_ BETRAY _YOU_?"

"YOU LEFT!" Regulus yelled. "YOU TURNED YOUR BACK ON YOU FAMILY!"

"THEY WERE NEVER MY FAMILY. THEY STOPPED BEING MY FAMILY AFTER THE FIRST PUNCH!"

"THAT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING! YOU STILL LEFT! THEY WERE STILL YOUR PARENTS!"

"THEY WERE NEVER MY PARENTS!" Sirius yelled louder. He stopped, taking deep breaths. He looked at Regulus, his face was red and his eyes looked watery. "What is this really about Reg?" he asked softly.

"IT'S ABOUT YOU LEAVING YOUR FAMILY!" Regulus yelled.

"About leaving you?" Sirius asked in the same soft voice.

"I WAS YOUR FAMILY, SO YES, LEAVING ME TOO! HOW COULD YOU!"

"Reg, I had to. You know that."

"I DO NOT! YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE, YOU COULD HAVE STAYED!"

"I could have stayed." Sirius agreed in a flat tone. "I could have stayed and been killed."

"They…" Regulus stammered, "Sirius." He whispered. "Killed?"

"Reg, you know how bad it was for me there. I wouldn't have made it much longer. Every year it got worse. And that night… Regulus, that was bad. They weren't going to stop. And even if they did they would have just come back the next day with more and more. I couldn't… Reg, I almost died then. I would have if I hadn't of left. James, he and his parents are the only reasons I'm still here now."

Regulus shook his head. "But…" he was breathing hard again. "I don't know what to do now." He said in a soft whisper.

Sirius put his hand on Regulus's shoulder. "You can come too. You can live with me. We can get a place and…" he stopped when Regulus started shaking his head and backing up.

His face turned hard. "No." he said in a voice that made Sirius flinch. "_I_ am not a coward. _I_ will not betray my family. _I_ am a Black! Proud! Noble! _Pure._"

"Regulus." Sirius whispered, shaking his head.

"SHUT UP!" Regulus bellowed, covering his ears with his hands. "I WON'T LISTEN TO YOUR LIES! I AM A FREAKING BLACK! AND I AM PROUD OF IT, AND I WILL BE GREAT BECAUSE OF IT!"

He backed up some more.

"DON'T BE STUPID!" Sirius yelled too, he advanced on Regulus; losing his patience. "YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING! THEY'LL FILL YOUR HEAD WITH MORE OF THEIR STUPID FANTACIES, THEY'LL MAKE YOU JOIN IN ON ALL THIS DARK STUFF THAT'S BEEN HAPPENING AND YOU'LL NEVER BE ANYTHING BUT THEIR PUPPET!"

"THEY DIDN'T MAKE ME DO ANYTHING!" Regulus yelled.

Sirius stopped dead in his tracks, his eyes large in shock. "What?" he said breathlessly. "Regulus, you didn't."

"I did what had to be done!" Regulus snapped. "I did what _I_ knew was right!"

"YOU STUPID, BRAINLESS IDIOT!" Sirius screamed in rage. He ran at Regulus and tackled him to the ground.

"GET OFF ME!" Regulus yelled, punching Sirius wherever he could.

Sirius was struggling for Regulus's arm and grabbed it in an iron grip, pulling back his sleeve and revealing the Dark Mark.

Regulus wrenched his arm free in Sirius's shock and pushed his brother off him and stood up.

Sirius was on his feet in seconds and punched Regulus square in the jaw, knocking him back to the floor. "IDIOT!" he yelled. "HOW COULD YOU! THEY. ARE. EVIL DAMN YOU!"

Regulus stood back up, drawing himself to his full height. "Mother and Father approve."

"MOTHER AND FATHER APPROVE OF ANYTHING THAT WOULD BRING DEATH TO MUGGLES!"

"WELL MAYBE THEY'RE RIGHT!"

Slam! Sirius punched Regulus again, Regulus fell to the ground and swung a kick at Sirius's injured knee. With a cry of pain Sirius collapsed and Regulus jumped on him.

The two brothers were a blur of rolling punches and kicks.

"Stop!" Professor McGonagall's voice shrieked.

Both Sirius and Regulus ignored her.

She pointed her wand at the brothers and with a flash of light the two were separated and pinned against opposite walls.

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING!" Regulus yelled.

"AND I SUPPOSE YOU KNOW EVERYTHING? YOU DON'T YOU STUPID CHILD!"

"QUIET!" McGonagall yelled, but again Sirius and Regulus ignored her and continued to yell insults at each other.

With another spell both of their mouths were clamped shut. And they just stared at each other with hate filled eyes.

"That's better." McGonagall said. "Now, who can tell me what happened here?" she turned to James.

"Um… I don't really know Professor." He said, looking at Sirius. "They started talking, then yelling, then it turned into a fight."

McGonagall sighed and turned to the large crown that had gathered. "You all should be in class, go. You too Mr. Potter." She added when James lingered.

Once the hallway was cleared she let Sirius and Regulus down and unclamped their mouths with a threat of clamping them shut for the rest of the day if they started to yell again.

"Now." She said in a business like tone. "Will one of you tell me what on earth has two brothers fighting like worst enemies?"

Both Sirius and Regulus kept their mouths shut, and continued to glare at each other.

"Sirius." McGonagall said.

Sirius tore his eyes from Regulus and looked at her. "Nothing Ma'am." He said in a flat tone. "Just a small disagreement, a misunderstanding of sorts."

McGonagall sighed. "Regulus, do you have anything to add?"

Regulus shook his head.

"Fine." She said in an annoyed tone. "Detention for the both of you. Seven o'clock. Meet in the great hall."

"Yes ma'am." Both Sirius and Regulus said.

"You are excused." She said.

Sirius and Regulus turned on their heels and stalked off in different directions, Sirius limping very badly.

"Sirius." McGonagall said once Regulus had turned the corner.

Sirius stopped and tuned to her.

"Is there anything I need to know?" she asked.

"I don't know what you mean." Sirius said.

"Is there any trouble I should be aware of? I am here to help you Mr. Black, in any way that I can. You only need ask."

Sirius was quiet for a moment, half shocked by this sudden nice turn. He also found himself wanting to tell her about the past few months, but he knew he couldn't.

"I know that your residence has changed." McGonagall continued when Sirius didn't say anything. "You are now living with the Potters is that correct?"

Sirius nodded.

"And Mr. and Mrs. Potter are also now your legal guardians?"

Another nod.

McGonagall sighed. "I wish you would let me help you Sirius." She said kindly. "I can see that you are hurting, will you not tell me why?"

Sirius was quiet for a second, "I'm sorry professor." He said finally. "But, I already have help. More than I'm used to, and almost more than I can handle." He sighed. "I am thankful for your offer, but… I just can't."

"I understand." McGonagall said sounding slightly disappointed. "You had better get to class, but please remember that I am here to help you when and if you need it."

"Thank you." Sirius said, then he turned and walked away.

He didn't go to class, but instead made his way up to his dormitory where he sat at the window next to his bed, staring out at the grounds that were crisp with a thin layer of frost.

How could Regulus be a Death Eater? How stupid could he get! Maybe he should have stayed. Maybe it would have kept Regulus from making this horrible mistake. How could he!

What was he going to do now? How could he get Regulus out of this mess? He had to help him! He was still his little brother; no matter what some stupid papers said. But he had no clue about what to do. He knew Regulus wouldn't let him help, he was far too stubborn and prideful. A trait that the shared. Sirius thought with a slight smile.

Sirius heaved a large sigh and leaned his head against the cold window.

What was he going to do now?

**Okay, **so now review and tell me what you like. And, I'm debating between finishing it basically now, I'll put in like one more chapter and that's it, or making it go until Christmas with the Potters where they do something great and where something happens to Sirius, but it's up to you all. Tell me if you want to keep it going or not. I don't really care either way; I'm liking the story, but it would also be good to have it done, so both ways are good for me. Which is why I'm letting you decide. So tell me: Continue or end it?


	19. Betrayal

**Morning!** I say morning because it's 2am right now. But, I've finished this next chapter, and you will all be happy to know that I will, indeed be continuing! I'm excited. Updates will be slower now though, dependant on how much homework I have. I get my associates degree this semester! Anyway, updates will probably be on the weekends now. Life is crazy guys. I'd like you to know. Now, I'll let you read my story. Oh! First! Near the end there is a flashback and it's all in italics. That's all! Hope you like it.

That next morning was Saturday, and Sirius stayed in his bed, lying on his back much longer than usual, the curtains drawn tight so no one could see in. He had hoped that he might be able to think of something to do about Regulus by the time he woke up, but he was still just as confused as ever.

He sighed, and tightly closed his eyes. He should just go back to sleep and not wake up until all of his problems have blown over. Who knows how long that would take though. He rolled over onto his stomach and buried his face in the pillow until he felt his pressure in his lungs from the absence of oxygen. He turned his face to the side and sighed.

"Sirius?" James's voice came from outside of his curtains. "You going to sleep the whole day away mate?"

Sirius groaned, "What time is it?" he asked. He didn't want to get up.

"Its noon." James answered.

Wow, Sirius thought. He had only been awake for about an hour or an hour and a half. He must have been more tired than he thought.

"You planning on joining the living anytime soon?" James asked, he sounded slightly concerned.

"I don't know." Sirius said, rolling back onto his back.

It was quiet for a moment, then when James spoke his voice was low and soft; "Are you okay Sirius?" he asked.

Sirius thought for a moment, truthfully he wasn't okay; he was very confused, mad and rather hurt. "Yes, I'm fine." He lied.

A stream of light hit Sirius on the face as James pulled back his curtains slightly. Sirius moaned and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Come on mate," James said sitting on the edge of Sirius's bed. "We're all pretty worried about you. You haven't been yourself, which is understandable considering the circumstances, but really, you've been acting like a bit of a bloody zombie."

Sirius raised his eyebrow at James and sat slowly up. He hadn't realized he was being so obvious, he thought he was acting pretty good for the most part.

"you've been good around the rest of the school." James said, guessing Sirius's thoughts. "But when you're just around us, when we're here in the dormitory you seem so dead. We expected it to be a little better by now, but it isn't and we're worried mate. We're worried that…" James seemed to struggle for words for a moment. "We don't want to lose you Sirius."

Sirius sighed. He really didn't know what to say. "I really don't know what to say." He said. "I… I'm sorry?" he sighed again. "I don't really know how I've been acting lately, because I don't really know how I've been feeling. It's been so jumbled, so confusing. I feel so empty, yet at the same time I'm so full of emotions that I could explode. I'm scared, I'm mad, sad, frustrated, lost, abandoned, alone… I don't know what to feel. How am I supposed to feel?" he looked at James with pleading eyes, as if he were begging him to have some sort of an answer, but James didn't have one.

Sirius waited for a moment, to see if James would say anything, but continued when he didn't. "This is all new for me James. I've never been completely abandoned by my family before."

"We're still here Sirius." James said. "We love you, we support you in what you did and would have made you do it sooner if we had only known what was going on. We will never abandon you, and we're your real family."

"That's confusing too!" Sirius cried, he buried his face in his hands for a moment, took a deep breath, then looked back up at James. "I'm not used to all this." He whispered. "I'm not used to having so many people care, I'm really not used to parents writing me for anything besides to yell, and tell me how horrible of a son I am. I'm used to letters full of threats, not loving and encouraging words like your parents write me." He took another deep breath and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. "I don't know what to make of all this."

"Well…" James said. "I guess I can understand that. When you're used to hate I can see how a bunch of love could throw you off. But really mate, you shouldn't feel alone or abandoned. We're here. Always." James whispered the last part, his eyes were full of worry and love.

Sirius was silent for a moment. He had been feeling very lost, he didn't know where he belonged, still didn't for the most part, but he could see how much his confusion was hurting James. He knew if it was hurting James this much then Jack and Remus had to be hurting too. He would have to learn how to pretend better. Time to improve your acting skills. He thought to himself.

He stretched. "You're right James." He said in a sincere voice that he hoped James bought. "I don't know why I've been feeling this way, this talk has helped though. I do feel a bit better, and I'll try to be more myself."

James smiled. _Good he bought it_ Sirius cheered inwardly.

"Guess I should get dressed huh." Sirius said.

James laughed a relieved laugh. "I think it would be a very good idea." He said.

That evening at dinner Sirius sat with his friends laughing, joking, and acting very well. They all seemed to believe it too, much to Sirius's relief. But then again, he was usually very good at acting.

As they exited the Great Hall Sirius saw Regulus leaning against the banister of some stains talking to some of his Slytherin friends.

"Hang on a sec guys." Sirius said.

James, Jack and Remus looked to where Sirius was looking and saw Regulus.

"Sure that's a good idea Sirius?" Jack asked.

"We'll back you up on the way over." James said, in a tone that left no room for argument.

Sirius shrugged and made his way to his little brother.

"Regulus, can I talk to you?" Sirius asked, once he had caught Regulus's eye.

Regulus narrowed his eyes at Sirius, then looked at his line of friends behind him.

"Alone?" he asked.

"Yah." Sirius said.

"Let's go outside." Regulus said, looking at James, Jack and Remus again then behind him at his own line of friends.

The two of them walked off, leaving their friends scowling at one another.

Once they were outside Sirius and Regulus started to walk toward the lake, it was chilly and late, so there were no other students which was very good.

"So?" Regulus asked.

"So," Sirius said. "Regulus, I…" Sirius wasn't sure what he should say.

"I don't understand you Sirius." Regulus suddenly snapped.

"What?" Sirius asked; taken aback.

"I don't understand why you couldn't just let it all go. Why did you always have to argue? Couldn't you have just pretended like you agreed? It would have been a hell of a lot easier. For one thing Mother and Father would have liked you and they never would have…" he paused, then whispered; "never would have hit you."

"Reg, you know why I couldn't." Sirius said. "Their ideals are so far off! They are freaking insane! I can't go along with _killing_ innocent people Reg."

"It's not insane though!" Regulus cried. "If you would have just listened, really listened then-"

"I did listen!" Sirius cut him off, "I listened for the first ten years of my life! I understood what they were saying, I understood completely what their take on things were."

"Then how could you…" Regulus stammered. "THEN HOW COULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON IT SO EASILY!" he was yelling now.

"EASY!" Sirius yelled back. "YOU THINK THAT IT WAS EASY TO TURN AGAINST EVERYHTING I HAD BEEN TAUGHT? EVERYRHING I HAD BEEN LED TO BELIEVE WAS FREAKING LAW! IT WASN'T EASY REGULUS, IT WAS NECESSARY."

"NECESSARY?" Regulus yelled. "WHEN IS IT NECESSARY TO LEAVE YOUR FAMILY, TO BETRAY THEM! ITS YOUR FAULT SIRIUS, ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOU IS YOUR OWN BLODDY FAULT!"

Sirius stared at Regulus for a moment, his fault! His fault his parents beat up on him!

"You don't mean that." Sirius said in a even tone.

"YES I DO!" Regulus yelled. "YOU MADE THEM HATE YOU, YOU MADE THEM DO EVERYTHING THEY DID TO YOU! WITH EVERY ACTION YOU MADE YOU DEFYED THEM! OT _IS_ YOUR FAULT! YOU DESERVED EVERYTHING YOU GOT!"

Sirius felt as if he had been punched in the gut. He stared at Regulus with wide, shocked and hurt eyes, his mouth hanging partway open. Then suddenly, he felt anger rise up, burning all his body. He clenched his jaw, his lips now in a thin line, his eyes were daggers.

He turned on his heel and stalked away.

"Sirius!" Regulus called after him.

Sirius started to run, how could he!

"Sirius!" Regulus cried again, he could hear him running after him.

He didn't stop or slow down. He just ran right to the large entrance doors where he wrenched them open with all his strength, making a loud bang, he ran into the entrance, not even taking notice of the many shocked faces surrounding him. His eyes were on his target, the grand stairs, the way to his dormitory. He bolted for them, not pausing at all.

"Sirius!" Regulus had come in now too and was still chasing him. "Sirius wait!" he pleaded.

But Sirius would NOT wait! He continued to run.

"I didn't mean it!" Regulus yelled, running up the stairs after Sirius. "Sirius please!"

"Sirius-"

Sirius spun around. "SHUT UP!" he roared with all him might, his anger very clear, dripping off every syllable. He was standing at the top of the stairs, Regulus stopped halfway up. His voice reverberated throughout the large stone hall. The rough, harsh tone of it stunned everyone to complete silence. Sirius glared at Regulus with pure, unforgiving hatred.

He spun again and ran around the corner, his footfalls fading off in the distance.

Regulus stood, stunned into a statue like state. He had never, _never_ seen Sirius so mad. Not at him anyway. The memory of the sound of Sirius's voice made him flinch. It was the sound of pure anger and hatred. What had he done?

He and Sirius had always gotten along well enough. Sure, at school they had fights and everything. But at home it was a different story. They would sit up all night sometimes talking, usually in Sirius's room, about everything. Regulus remembered the last talk they had:

"_Sirius?" Regulus knocked on Sirius door. "Yah Reg, come in." Regulus entered his brother's room and closed the door behind him. Sirius was lying on his back on his bed. He had a large black eye and a new cut on his forehead. "You alright?" Regulus asked, sitting on the end of Sirius's bed. "I'll be fine." Sirius said. "Looks like it hurts." Regulus said. "Like hell." Sirius said, with a cocky grin that made everything seem at least a little better. "What was it this time?" Regulus asked, picking at a thread on Sirius's bed spread. "Got a letter from James asking me to come over for a camp out." Sirius said simply. "Wanted to do it muggle style. Tents in the mountains and all. Would have been fun." Regulus nodded, "It sounds like it would be nice." He really did think so too. He liked camping. He and Sirius had gone the last summer. "They got mad at you for that?" Sirius nodded, closing his eyes and wincing slightly as the movement caused his head to throb. "It's okay though." Sirius said quickly, noticing the pained look on Regulus's face. "I've had much worse." "I'm sorry." Regulus whispered, looking down. "Hey," Sirius said sitting up. He looked into Regulus's eyes. "It's not your fault." I… but I should have…" Regulus stammered, tears threatening to appear. "Reg." Sirius said, "No. You shouldn't do anything. You should never do anything. They might hit you too, and I couldn't bear that. If hitting me keeps them from hitting you then It's worth it." "But Sirius, I can't…" Regulus couldn't finish. "I know Reg." Sirius said, pulling his little brother into a hug. "I know."_

"Regulus." A voice from behind him jerked him back to the present. He turned around; James, Jack and Remus were standing behind him with his three friends behind them.

"What happened?" Jack asked sounding both angry and worried.

Regulus shook his head and walked around them and down the stairs.

"Regulus?" one of his friends asked. "You alright mate?"

Regulus nodded.

"You sure?" another one asked.

"Yah." Regulus lied. "Look," he turned to face them. "I just want to be alone for a bit okay?"

He turned and made his way to his dormitory, his friends didn't follow.

How could he have said that? He was completely appalled. He knew it wasn't Sirius's fault and he definitely knew Sirius didn't deserve any of what he got.

He plopped down on his bed and stared at the ceiling.

_Why? _Why had he said that? What kind of brother was he? Did he say it just because he knew it would hurt Sirius? Well good job! He yelled at himself. You big pratt, you sure as hell did that! He remembered the look in Sirius's eyes when he said it. The hurt, the disbelief. The betrayal. It wasn't Sirius who was betraying his family it was him, it was Regulus. He betrayed his closest, dearest family member in the worst way, when Sirius needed him the most he kicked him away.

How was he ever going to get Sirius to listen to him again? How could he ever apologize? Sirius probably thought he hated him now, but he knew no matter what Sirius didn't hate him. He should though, Regulus thought, I deserve to be hated. But it wasn't in Sirius to hate him. He might for now, but I knew he won't forever… would he?

I've never betrayed him like this before. I have never said anything so utterly cruel. Perhaps Sirius would hate me now; perhaps he would never forgive me. Perhaps Sirius would never speak to me again; he would push me out of his life. Forever

What have I done?!

**So… good?** I must admit that I like this chapter. It's fun to do it from Regulus's point of view; Gives it a bit of a mix I think. Pleas review! Next chapter should be up next weekend or tomorrow if I get the time with all my homework. Later!


	20. Done

**Morning again!** (its 1:30am) Here's the next one. It's a bit short, but hopefully I'll have the next one up tomorrow. Hope you like this one.

Sirius slumped against the wall, his leg was throbbing. But he was too mad to take much notice. Suddenly he heard voices and footsteps coming down the corridor; it was James, Jack and Remus. Quickly Sirius ducked into a secret tunnel behind a tapestry, transforming into his dog form as he did so.

He held very still as the passed and heard them talking.

"I hope he's alright." Remus said in a very worried tone.

"Yah," Jack said in a similar tone. "I've never heard him yell like that before. To be honest it was a bit unnerving."

"Yah." He heard James say as their voiced faded away.

Once his friends were gone Sirius turned and started to run again. It was so much easier to run with a injured leg as a dog: you had three others to use. He tried to think of which passageway he was in at the moment, and most importantly whether it led out of the castle.

Taking a quick assessment as to where he was when he entered the passageway Sirius realized with disappointment that this particular passageway didn't lead out of the castle, but I did at least go very far down the castle. To the knowledge of the Marauders it went even below the dungeons, below the Slytherin dormitory.

So, he ran down, down and down until the passageway stopped. This particular passageway wasn't much like all the others, in the fact that it didn't lead out anywhere, but it was a very good spot for hiding. The large stone hall ended in a very small circular room, not much bigger than the hall itself. There was a large, plump pillow and blanket for times one wanted a undisturbed afternoon nap and it was stoked very well.

The boys had made sure that they kept all sorts of cakes, pies, sandwiches and a few other "necessities" including a very nice supply of Rosmerta's best butterbeer in case they ever had to hide out there for a bit, or even if they just wanted to like Sirius did now.

Sirius didn't change out of his animagi form, but instead curled up on the pillow and lay his head on his paws; eyes facing the hallway. He knew his friends would be coming to find him soon, once they figured he wasn't in their dorm they would look at the marauders map and see at once where he was.

So, he waited. Fuming over the words Regulus had said. He still couldn't believe he had said all that. _He deserved it!_ Regulus had seen a great many of Sirius's beatings and he knew that many times Sirius did nothing to deserve them. Nothing to deserve them to that intensity anyway.

With a broken heart Sirius realized that Regulus was more like their parents than he had ever realized. Where did he make the change from Sirius's dearly annoying at times brother to the dark man that he was now?

How could someone just change like that? Did Regulus really believe all the things he said? He honestly believed in all the insane drabble their parents have been shoving down their throats since they were born! He said himself that he didn't think it was insane; he had asked Sirius if he had ever listened to their parents many speeches. Had _he_?Had _Regulus_ ever heard it?

Why?

WHY!

Why had Regulus betrayed _him_?

Sirius sighed; it didn't matter anymore. He was _so_ sick of all this. He was sick of his family and all their _shit._ He didn't want to do this anymore. He just wanted it all to be behind him.

He was sick of caring about what others though so much. What about what he thought? What about what he wanted…

He stopped for a moment; confused.

What did he want?

That might take a while to figure out.

Just then he heard his friends coming down the hall.

"Hey Sirius." James said.

Sirius didn't move.

James, Jack and Remus all sat around Sirius on the large pillow. Sirius put his head on James's lap while James scratched his ears.

"Want to tell us what happened?" Jack asked.

Sirius didn't move.

"That's okay, you don't have to." Jack continued. "Regulus wouldn't tell us either. Have to admit though mate; I've never really seen you that mad before. You had the whole great hall stunned into silence."

"We're here for you mate." Remus said. "We'll listen anytime you want to talk."

Sirius still didn't do anything. But, he noticed, neither did James. He just sat there scratching Sirius's ears and not saying a word.

Sirius felt very grateful to him. James understood him on a level the others didn't. They were closer than friends; they were brothers. Actually, James was much more of a brother than his _real _brother was.

He knew James wouldn't push him for information, he would let Sirius say it whenever he was ready. After a moment, he realized that Jack and Remus were still talking. He knew they meant well, and he loved them for it, but he really, _really_ didn't want to talk right now. He didn't even want to think right now. But he also didn't want to be alone.

Jack and Remus had stopped talking.

"I think we'll go." Remus said after a few minutes, standing up. (By _we_ he meant him and Jack.)

Jack stood up and nodded, and the two of them disappeared down the hall.

They both knew the close relationship between Sirius and James, theirs was exactly like it. And they knew that it would be easier for Sirius to speak to just James.

James sighed and leaned his head against the wall. "You don't have to say anything yet." He said. "I understand completely."

And Sirius knew he did.

They sat like that for a while longer, neither of them really knew how long, nor did they care.

But eventually Sirius stood up, stretched, and changed back into his normal, human form.

"I'm done James." Sirius said, grabbing two butterbeers and handing one to James as he sat next to him with his back against the wall.

James nodded his thanks and took a drink. "Done?" he asked.

"Yes." Sirius said after a long drink. "I'm done with all this stupidity. I'm not going to play their game anymore."

"And I suppose you aren't going to be talking to Regulus anymore either?"

Sirius growled. "No. I won't."

"He did seem pretty sorry mate."

"He should." Sirius growled again.

"Wh-what did he say?" James asked.

Sirius was silent for a moment, drinking his butterbeer.

"He said I deserved it." He finally said in a whisper. Then he got louder. "He said I deserved everything I got. He said I deserved what our parents did to me!"

James took a deep breath, registering not only what Sirius said, but his emotions as well.

Then, after a few more seconds he said "I wouldn't talk to him again either."

Sirius looked at James and the two friends smiled at each other.

"Cheers." Sirius said.

James's smile widened. "Cheers." He said and the two of them clinked their bottles.

"Want to go back up yet?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head as he took another drink.

"Neither do I." James said.

**So, like it?** Please review and I'll be back as soon as I can 


	21. The Message

**Hey guys!** Very, very sorry this took so unbelievably long to update. I'll try not to let _that _happen again. I hope you like this and that it was at least half worth the wait.

"Sirius!" Regulus yelled, for the thousandth time in the past two days. And, for the thousandth time in the past two days Sirius ignored him and disappeared through the nearest secret passageway.

"How long are you going to keep on doing this?" James asked Sirius as he, Jack and Remus followed him into the passageway. His voice echoed off the dark stone walls "How long do you think you can avoid him?"

"How long do you think it will take for him to give up?" Sirius asked distractedly looking at the marauders map to find a safe place to come out.

"I don't know that he ever will mate." Jack said.

"Then neither will I." Sirius said, flipping the map upside-down.

"So what, you're going to duck into a passageway every time he comes after you?" Remus asked.

Sirius shrugged, "I could hit him again, and that'd probably work for a bit. Maybe get the picture through."

"Didn't work to well last time." James commented.

Sirius gave him a side look then went back to studying the map.

"Ha!" he exclaimed. "Here is our exit."

Remus grabbed Sirius's shoulder just as he was about to climb up the exit way.

"Sirius." He said softly. "You know you can't do this forever."

"Why not?" Sirius asked. He shrugged out of Remus's grasp and started to climb.

"Don't you miss him?" Jack asked following Sirius up the exit.

"No." Sirius said without a moment's pause. He had already thought about this too much. He was done. "Nope, he had his chance and I'm done with all of them."

"Good." James said, supporting his friend. He knew how much Sirius had struggled with making this decision, and it really was the right one. His family had never done anything good for him.

"I really don't feel like going to class anymore today." Sirius said as when he and his friends climbed out of the passageway. "Let's go get lunch early."

"Alright." James and Jack said happily.

Remus paused for a moment, he would be missing Herbology, but he figured Sirius needed it so he agreed.

That evening Sirius sat along with his friends in front of the Gryffindor commonroom fire, in a large comfortable chair with Alison in his lap.

He wasn't really paying attention to the conversation going on, something about the upcoming potions test or something. He was staring at the fire playing absentmindedly with Alison's hair.

"Look at that!" a first year exclaimed across the room. "That's a huge owl!"

Sirius looked around his chair toward the window and saw a very large, very familiar and very black owl.

"Oh crap, now what?" he moaned.

The first year opened the window and the large owl swooped in, circled once and landed on the arm of Sirius's chair.

"Bet you were hoping never to see me again." Sirius said as he untied the letter tied to the owl's leg. Once it was off Archimedes flew away, clipping Sirius in the head with his talons.

Sirius hissed and saw that his head was bleeding.

"Even the bloody bird hates me." Sirius mumbled as he opened the letter, there was no envelop. He recognized the handwriting at once: Regulus.

_Dear Sirius,_

_I'm so sorry about what I said; I know you really didn't deserve what Mother and Father did to you. They really do just want the best for you…_

Sirius didn't read anymore. He crumpled up the paper and threw it angrily into the blazing fire.

"Who was it from?" Alison asked.

"Regulus." Sirius growled, very angrily.

Alison slid off the chair. "What did it say?"

Sirius shook his head; "I didn't read it all." He stood up and yawned large. "I'm very tired now, so I think I'll go to bed."

"Yah, me too." James said, jumping up quickly.

Sirius smiled at him and Jack and Remus who silently followed.

"So, what _did_ the letter say?" James asked once they were all in the dormitory and Remus had shut the door behind him.

"I told the truth when I said I didn't read it all." Sirius said, walking to the window and sitting down.

Jack sat down on the edge of Sirius's bed and Jack and Remus sat on Jack's (the two beds were right next to the window.)

Sirius smiled at their skeptic faces. "It started by saying he was sorry, but that Mother and Father just wanted the best."

"Are you serious?" James asked in shock.

Sirius nodded, "Yah… the little git."

"So I guess you're really not going to ever talk to him now are you." Jack said.

"Not likely." Sirius said tracing his finger along the window.

"Wonder if he'll keep following you though." Jack said. "Little brothers can be very stubborn."

Sirius half smiled at the grudging tone in Jack's voice. "He probably will." He said. "But I'll just keep ignoring him like I said."

"Maybe you should write to him and tell him to leave you alone." James suggested.

Sirius shrugged, "I don't know that that would help much. Besides, that would be close to talking to him and I do _not_ want to do that."

"But what if he still doesn't leave you alone?" Jack asked.

Sirius bit his lower lip and thought for a moment, "I don't know." He said. "I'll think of something. Maybe if I don't write back or respond in any way he'll get the picture."

James and Jack nodded.

"Well…" Remus said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. "I don't know about the three of you, but I'm beat. The full moon is tomorrow and I really need my sleep."

James, Jack and Sirius laughed. "You're right Moony." Sirius yawned. "I am very tired."

"You look very tired mate." James said. "You feel alright?"

"Just tired." Sirius assured his concerned friend.

Truth was that Sirius was feeling a little off; it had just started a few minutes ago. Around when the letter arrived, but he was sure it was just because he was tired. He hoped it was.

However, when he stood up his head started to spin. "Wow." He said holding onto his bed post.

"You alright?" Remus asked.

"I just got really dizzy." Sirius said. "It's okay now though." He lied.

He took a deep breath, gathering his balance and started to get dresses for bed.

Once he was dressed he plopped onto his bed and felt the world around him sway as if he were on a boat. "Oh man." He moaned.

"Sirius?" James appeared over him. "You aren't getting sick are you? Christmas vacation is next week mate."

"I know." Sirius said. "I'll be fine once I get some sleep."

"If you say so." James said.

Sirius rolled onto his side and curled into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. He really hoped he wasn't getting sick, not after everything else that has happened these past few months. He was finally mostly healed from his "attack" during the summer.

No way could he get sick now. He needed time to enjoy his freedom! His first free Christmas, he didn't want to miss it.

_Please. _He pleaded in his head_. Please don't let me get sick now. _

**So, please review.** It's almost over! Just a few more chapters, and I'll update sooner next time. Promise!


	22. Cursed

**Here it is!** The next chapter of my story. Hope you like it. Oh, and to those of you who are freaking out about my story being over soon, don't worry I have another Sirius story that I'm working on. It takes place about a year or two before this one. But, I have to finish this one before I can put it up. So read this one for now.

Sirius was sick. He was going to die, or so he felt. His head was throbbing, his arms were numb, his hands and feet were freezing, and that was just the start of it. One week until Christmas break and he gets sick _now_!

Remus had insisted that Sirius see _Madam Pomphrey_ who said it looked like Sirius had some sort of old infection and there wasn't really much she could do, but give him a potion to help him sleep and ease some of the pain.

The good thing was that Sirius was excused from the last week of classes and got to stay in bed all day, but that was also the down side. It was so boring! He didn't really get out of the dormitory that much because he could hardly move, let alone stand and walk. As a result of this James, Jack and Remus spent most of their free time in the dormitory too, and it was starting to where on everyone.

"At least you can avoid Regulus this way." Jack pointed out one evening when everyone was lounging about in the dorm.

"That's true." James said. He bewitched a paper airplane to fly around the room with his wand as a control. "He hasn't sent you another letter has he?"

"Nope." Sirius sighed. He coughed a few times then sighed. "You know, you guys don't have to stay in here. Go out and have fun, it snowed today, have a snowball fight."

"Want to get rid of us Sirius?" Jack asked. He was lying sideways on his bed with his head over the edge.

"No," Sirius said. "I can just tell you are bored to death."

"So are you." James said, his plane flying over Sirius's head.

"Yah, but I'm stuck here. _I can't leave this castle_." He said mocking Madam P.

"She didn't say you have to stay in the dorm did she?" James asked, his plane flying over Sirius's head again.

"She said I should stay in bed." Sirius said.

"_Should_?" James asked jumping onto his knees, his tone mischievous. "But not _have_ to?"

"James." Remus said. "Sirius can't go anywhere, he can hardly walk. Besides, you don't want him to get worse do you?"

"No." James moaned, plopping back down on his bed. "But what are we supposed to do then?"

"I told you!" Sirius exclaimed. "Go outside. _You _can."

"But we don't want to leave you." Jack said.

"I'm fine." Sirius said with a yawn. "Besides, I'm really tired so I'll just go to sleep."

"Well, if you're sure." Remus said.

"Yes, I am." Sirius said. "Go have fun."

"Race you guys out!" James yelled.

Sirius chuckled as his friends ran out of the dormitory. He really did hate keeping them cooped up; it was good for them to get out. He only wished he could go out and join them.

He got up to go look out the window to see if he could see his three friends, but the first step he took sent him sprawling on the ground. He grabbed onto his curtains to try to keep his balance, but they came ripping down with him and the rings hit his head. When he tried to get back up his head spun and he fell again, this time hitting his head on his bed frame and becoming more entangled with his curtains.

"Come on!" he yelled to the ceiling. He hated this! "Give me a freaking break! What do you want from me?" He tried to stand and rip the curtains away, but fell again because they were wrapped around his ankles.

"Arr!" he yelled. His frustration was increasing and his head was pounding. "Isn't it enough that my parents beat me up, now my bed too? You don't like me do you? Why me? WHY ME! WHY!!!" he bellowed, his throat scratching.

He finally untangled himself from his curtains and climbed up on his bed. He was _really _tired now. He had to admit, he was sure that whole scene looked pretty funny, but he didn't find it so. He was happy they had placed a silencing charm on the door so no one could hear what was going on inside, or else people might think he were crazy yelling like that. Although, they probably thought that anyway; he often wondered if he was.

Oh well, he thought. Who cares if they did? He certainly didn't. With that thought he rolled over and was asleep in seconds.

That whole week went by slower than Sirius thought possible, and now they were getting ready to go home for the Christmas Holliday, and he felt awful. He felt like he was good and ready to die right here and now. He had had enough!

He tried to convince James and the others just to let him stay the holiday at Hogwarts, but they wouldn't hear it. James even wrote his mother and she sent the reply that if Sirius, as her new son, had to come home for Christmas and if he tried to stay at school she would come and drag him back herself.

So, Sirius was going. He was going _home,_ not that he really knew where that was these days.

"You ready Sirius?" James asked once he had finished his packing.

"Sure." Sirius said, sitting on the edge of his bed.

"Come on mate." James said, now sliding both their trunks to the door. "It'll be great. Your first Christmas free! With a real, loving family. The way Christmas should be."

"Yah, a real Christmas." Sirius said. He coughed and deep in his chest there was a low rustling noise. _That I won't be able to do anything but sleep and lye in a bed all day every day during._ He thought as he slowly got off his bed, swayed for a second, and then followed James dizzily out of the dormitory.

Sirius didn't remember much about the train ride back to King's Cross, he was asleep for most of it, and sooner than he would have liked Jack was shaking him and James was calling for him to wake up.

"Come on mate." James said, it sounded like he was calling from across a long yard. "The trains' stopped, we've got to get off now."

Sirius sighed heavily and lifted his hundred pound eyelids.

"Finally," James groaned. "Remus and I have your trunk and Jack will help you out. Now let's go."

Sirius processed James's words and sat up, his head swimming and every inch of him aching. He could tell it was time for him to take more potion, but he would have to wait.

"Alright." Sirius sighed. "Let's go then."

The four friends made their way out of the train slowly, James and Remus carrying Sirius's trunk and their own and Jack supporting Sirius and his trunk. When they got off the train they spotted Mr. and Mrs. Potter speaking with Jack's parents and siblings and Mr. and Mrs. Lupin.

"How's the curse brother?" Sirius heard a low voice snarl from behind him.

He turned around, letting go of Jack, and found Regulus sneering at him.

"Doesn't look like you hold to well with being cursed." Regulus said as Sirius started to turn around.

Suddenly a light went on in Sirius's head. A curse, _the_ curse. Of course, how could he have been so stupid! The black curse, the one his Great, Great Grandfather Black invented. There never had been an antidote discovered for it. It was on Archimedes's talons!

"What's the matter brother?" Regulus snarled. "Didn't know what it was? You are an enemy to the family now., you had to know it was coming."

"Go to Hell." Sirius said with as much contempt as he could muster. He then turned around and walked with his friends to their parents.

"What was that?" Jack asked. "A curse?"

Sirius only shook his head. He really didn't feel like talking about it right now. Actually, to be honest, he didn't feel like talking about anything right now. He just wanted to take his bloody potion and sleep. Sleep forever, sleep until everything was over. Until everyone was done being concerned about him, until everyone stopped hating him, and until everyone stopped trying to freaking kill him!

"Wow, you look awful." Jack's older brother Frank said when he saw Sirius.

Mrs. Neeva elbowed him in the ribs. "How are you feeling Sirius?" she asked with the concern Sirius was coming to hate.

"I feel… awful." Sirius said with a look at frank, who smiled. Sirius didn't have the energy to smile.

"Let's get you home dear." Mrs. Potter said.

The four friends said their goodbyes for the holidays, even though Jack and Remus were planning on coming over to James's house a few times during the holidays.

When they got home Mr. and Mrs. Potter told Sirius they had a wonderful surprise for him and took him immediately upstairs.

"We've been working on this ever since you left for school." Mrs. Potter said excitedly.

She stopped in front of a door right across the hall from James's room. Slowly, she opened the door and Mr. Potter led and supported the only half conscious Sirius in the room.

"It's yours." Mrs. Potter said.

It took Sirius a moment to figure out what Mrs. Potter was saying, but once he did he felt his heart and stomach do a flip. _His_ room?

"Mine?" he asked in a whisper.

Mrs. Potter nodded.

He didn't know what to say; he wasn't used to people being this kind to him. Or grown up people anyway.

"It's perfect." Sirius said with awe as he observed his new room.

It was a definite improvement to his room back a Grimmauld Place. It was smaller, but it was much better. This room was bright and cheery with blue walls, grey, soft carpet and dark red drapes for his window. He had a mahogany dresser and matching desk along the far wall and his bed was in the middle of the room with a red comforter that matched his drapes and a mahogany bed frame. It was wonderful.

"I don't know what to say." Sirius said, turning to the Potters who had been standing at the door watching Sirius.

"You don't have to say anything." Mrs. Potter said.

"It's our pleasure son." Mr. Potter said. "We'll let you get settled in and get some rest; you look about ready to drop."

Once Sirius was alone in the room he backed up to his bed and sat down on it. He was still in shock; he hadn't expected anything like this. He slowly laid down on his back, he really was very tired. He closed his eyes and thought of the supreme kindness of the Potters. They had done so much for him, and he knew they would continue to do much more.

It was almost too much for him. He rolled onto his side and curled up slightly, tears were running down his cheeks. He didn't deserve to be treated with so much… so much love. He didn't understand it, why were they so great? What made them so wonderful and loving to everyone they bloody met? Why couldn't he be like that?

He knew the answer to that one: he simply wasn't raised that way. He was raised to hate and judge and to never, ever do something for someone just to be _nice_. He was raised by parents who curse their children instead of kiss them.

Cursed. How could he not have seen this coming? It was inevitable; he knew that, once you tick off the Black family you got cursed. It was as simple as that. Sirius had read about this curse a million times; the famous Black family curse. He even knew how to perform it, or mix it anyway. It was a potion that took four weeks to prepare. The ingredients were complex and downright awful, the last ingredient the potion called for was three drops of blood from the person mixing the potion. Sirius's father made him make it once as a punishment then tested it on a muggle who lived down the street. She was in the hospital for about a month. Now he knew why: this thing was the devil and she didn't even have any potions to help her.

Curse, Sirius cursed _them_. With all his heart he cursed his family. And all the others like them in fact. All the pure bloods who thought they were better. He hated them, he cursed them. He hated the fact that he was connected to that world; he cursed the fact that he had anything to do with the evil that comes along with being a Black.

Damn, how he cursed himself.

**So, was it good?** Please review and tell me if you liked it. I hope there weren't too many errors, I didn't really proof read this one. I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can.


	23. Finally Happy

**Okay, **I know this too way too long to update, but the semester is finally over and I've had time now. One of my classes was a short story class where I had to write a whole bunch of short stories, so I didn't have time for this one. Sorry. But, here it is; the final chapter. I really hope you liked it.

The next few days were the best days of Sirius's life; sure he felt awful because he was still cursed, but he was free now. Mr. and Mrs. Potter treated Sirius like he was their own son; he had hot chocolate every night, Mrs. Potter baked tons of pastries and pies and had plans to make a large honey and brown sugar ham on Christmas. Which was tomorrow.

Sirius lay awake in his bed that night trying to sleep, but finding it next to impossible. He was excited for Christmas for the first time in his life, and it was a wonderful feeling! It was going to be a perfect day tomorrow; it was even snowing! Sirius noticed when he looked out his window.

He got out of his bed and walked across his dark room to the window; he could feel the cold of outside on the glass. He sat down on the window seat and watched as the white, lacy snowflakes fell gently from the dark blue sky to the white ground. The faint glow of Christmas lights reflected off the snow that had already fallen.

The house next door had blinking lights that alternated between red and green making the snow red, then green. Sirius watched and leaned his head on the windowsill;

_Red, green, red, green, _he thought as the lights changed. His eyes were getting heavy now as he started to relax;_ red, green, red, green, red, green…_

The first thing Sirius noticed was a stiff pain in his neck, then with a jump he noticed that was the only pain he felt! He opened his eyes; he was still sitting on the window seat, his head against the windowsill, which explained his stiff neck.

The sun was shining and outside was completely blanketed in a sparkling white blanket. It was Christmas!

Sirius jumped up, noticing again the lack of pain. He felt like jumping and yelling, but instead quietly crept across his room and slowly creaked his door open. Immediately the soft scent of cinnamon swirled around Sirius's head as he stuck it out the door. The hallway was empty and completely quiet.

He tiptoed out into the hall, closing his door behind him and walked to James's room. He slowly opened the door and peered inside the room. James wasn't on his bed.

Where was he? Sirius wondered.

Before he could make another move a large plump pillow hit his face, and a loud laugh erupted from somewhere in front of him.

"Happy Christmas!" James exclaimed.

Sirius laughed as he lowered the pillow from his face. James was standing in front of him wearing red pajamas and dark green socks.

"Happy Christmas James," Sirius said. "How long have you been up?"

"'Bout a minute." James said, taking the pillow from Sirius and leading him out of the room and down the hall. "I was just about to come get you when I saw my door knob turning. Mum and Dad are probably downstairs already."

Sure enough, both Mr. and Mrs. Potter were sitting in the family room with two cups of hot cocoa.

"Morning boys," Mr. Potter said once Sirius and James came in the room.

"Happy Christmas," Mrs. Potter smiled. "You two want some hot chocolate and breakfast?"

"Yes!" James exclaimed.

He looked forward to Christmas breakfast the whole year. Mrs. Potter always went all out with a variety of muffins, waffles, pancakes, fruits, puddings, eggs, bacon, sausage and many other things.

"That was better than the holiday feast at Hogwarts," Sirius complimented Mrs. Potter as the four of them walked back to the living room.

"Thank you Sirius," Mrs. Potter smiled.

"Well I suppose you boys want to open presents now eh?" Mr. Potter said sitting in the large plumpy couch.

"Heck yeah!" Both Sirius and James exclaimed.

Sirius wasn't expecting much that Christmas, not that he ever really did, but this year he didn't expect to get anything from his parents, and truthfully; he didn't want to.

That was why he was shocked when James handed him a present labeled: To Sirius, from Mum and Dad.

First off; his parents never said from Mum and Dad before, and the wrapping was far too cheery for them. With small Santa's dancing around the paper. His parents said they didn't want anything to do with him; why were they sending him a gift?

Maybe it was a trick; the contents were probably cursed. He wasn't sure if he wanted to open it. He hated them; he didn't want anything from them.

"Go on mate," James said with a grin. "Open it."

Sirius sighed; he just got over the last curse and now he was about to get another one, well here it goes.

He ripped the paper off, in a hurry to get I over with, but then stopped when he saw a light wooden box with a green note taped to it. He took off the note and read it slowly:

_Dear Sirius,_

_We know we could never take the place of what your parents should have been, and that you will always have an empty place in your heart that we could never fill. But we hope that you will always feel that you have a home here, and two people who would love to call you their son. We are proud of you Sirius; you truly are a strong and brave man. There are many in the world who would have cracked under the pressure that has been placed upon your shoulders the past sixteen years. You are good Sirius, a true Gryffindor, and a true Potter. We hope you accept our gift and along with it our love._

_Love Mum and Dad Potter_

Sirius felt tears forming at the corners of his eyes, and he slowly opened the box; Inside lay a packet of papers. Sirius took the papers curiously out of the box and read them. They were papers for foster parents! Each page was signed by both Mr. and Mrs. Potter!

Sirius looked up at Mr. and Mrs. Potter with wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Do you like it?" Mrs. Potter asked nervously.

Sirius struggled for words, his heart felt as if it was swollen against his ribs. He jumped up and embraced Mrs. Potter tightly, tears running freely down his cheeks.

"It's the best present I've ever had," he choked.

He pulled away and noticed that Mrs. Potter was also crying; in fact everyone in the room had tears streaking their cheeks.

"I can't believe this," Sirius said quietly.

"We're really brothers now," James said, sitting next to Sirius and putting his arm around him.

"This is your home now," Mr. Potter said.

"Welcome home," Mrs. Potter said.

This was the best day of Sirius's life; he couldn't believe that it was just last week he was the most depressed person it the world, or at least it felt like it. Now, however, he felt as if he could fly. He had a home with parents,_ real_ parents who _really _loved him, and wanted him. The wanted him! They asked him to be his son! He couldn't believe it.

He was happy now, truly happy. It had been so long.

**Its over! **I hope you liked reading it as much as I liked writing it. I probably won't write anything else until the summer; next semester I have a novel writing class so I really won't have time for other writing. Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews; they help a million. I would put all your names as my reviewers, but there are too many, you are all so kind. If there are errors in this story tell me and I'll go back and fix them, and please review one more! Tell me: what did you think?

Thanks for reading,

Ash


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